It's really a profound insight, that taking one's life is not a solitary act. I can extend that insight further.
Sometimes stuff is hard to take. It almost seems like we have a right to feel down. When that happens to me, when something goes dreadfully wrong (let's say, a family member is sick), I remind myself of my responsibility to others. There is no profit in feeling down. There is no benefit to being sad. All it does is make everything worse for everybody else.
It's hard to fight a mood, because a mood takes over, but you are right in thinking of what your actions will mean to others. Sometimes that's enough to keep going.
I'm glad you were able to fight those moods in the past. While you are here, you make a difference. Even a blog, like this one, makes a difference to some people who read it. It makes a difference to me.
I've been meaning to get back into this. Truthfully, after writing this out I felt heavy but liberated. I unlocked something that closed ones told me many years, suicide is not a solitary act but I could never get behind the idea of it. Again, desperation narrows our perspective and only when I see the horrors of it, I finally understands why.
There are days when it's not easy but the older I get, the more I am being exposed to different people and their life navigating difficulties. That's how I told myself it's OK and just try my best to live.
Thankyou so much for checking out this heavy reflection.
Thank you @kpoulout and @topcomment🌹
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