I am babysitting this weekend, not for this lovely young girl,
but rather for this very cute young boy. Here he is looking at my iPad. He is watching a video of dogs barking. Yes, I shamelessly let him have screen time.
The reason I'm babysitting is because the sweet child, my granddaughter, pictured at the top of the page, is graduating from college on Sunday. Much as we hoped we could see this child celebrate, we cannot make the trip. We will be watching a live stream from our home.
We're not upset. We have said for years we'd like to be around for my granddaughter's college graduation, and we're here. I'm so proud of her. Many years we babysat for her. Neither time nor distance can take that away.
Here is a picture of me with my granddaughter when we were in Washington D.C. together. This was in 2014--I was 67 and my granddaughter was 9. My daughter had a work weekend (she was a dancer) and I went along to babysit. We had plenty of time to tour.
Here is another shot of us on that trip. I think we were at the Smithsonian when this picture was taken.
Finally, another shot of us in D.C. I think you can see here what a close relationship we had.
As we babysit for the dog this weekend, we also continue our obligation to his sibling:
While the cat and the dog are less combative than they used to be, still the cat has disdain for the dog. Rightfully so, I must admit. From time to time the dog will mistake the cat for a toy and pounce. The dog weighs probably 70 pounds. The cat weighs maybe 5, maybe not that much. So, whenever the dog is around, the cat will seek refuge behind my husband's chair or, as you see in this picture, on my husband's chair. There he will sit and even sleep for a very long time.
This cat has been a part of my granddaughter's life since she was a very little girl. Here is a picture from 2010--16 years ago. My granddaughter is 21 now, so she must have been 5. The cat, you see, looks just about the same. These days he makes it from the floor to the back of my husband's chair with one leap. He shows no signs of age, no hint of slowing down.
My granddaughter grew up with animals. They were her siblings and she learned to love them. Her career choice is related to that love. She wants to become an occupational therapist, but her secondary ambition is to work in animal rehabilitation. All her pets were rescues, including this frisky elderly cat. The cat was a tiny kitten that had somehow managed to wedge itself in a car engine. My daughter was called by a neighbor to extract it.
In the picture below you see a dog that grew up with my granddaughter. This dog had been traumatized emotionally but eventually healed. This sweet animal passed away two years ago.
Here is another cat that was rescued from a car engine (when an animal was in distress, neighbors in my old neighborhood would call my daughter). This animal was injured badly because the car had driven a bit before the driver realized the cat was trapped. Loud meowing was the alert. Notice this cat holds her paw up. That's because one leg was permanently damaged. She was never strong enough to undergo an operation for amputation. She was also a little dim witted. You can see that in her eyes, I think.
Of course, we didn't just babysit for my granddaughter while she was maturing. We were also a kind of escape valve for mother and daughter. In middle school, for example, we pitched in. Middle school is a tough time for most kids. In this case, my daughter was working several jobs and simply didn't have the time she needed to help with homework and all the other things that arise.
Every day either my husband or I would pick up my granddaughter from school and take her to the library to do homework. Inevitably, as we drove to the library, she would ask us to stop at a local eatery and buy her a special snack.
We also went on vacation together at least once a year. Here's my husband with my granddaughter as the two of them took a boat ride on Lake Placid (NY).
Here I am with my granddaughter on the same trip. You might notice that I'm often carrying an umbrella if the sun is bright. I have serious issues with the sun so I always carry protection when I'm out in bright sunshine. Also, it looks like that might be a map I'm holding. I love maps. Maps of buildings, parks, cities. I just like them.
I'm not someone who appreciates big celebrations. I like things simple. I don't like dressing up for special occasions. I don't like a fuss at all. However, sometimes we need to stop and punctuate our experience with a special day, a special moment. We have done that with my granddaughter.
Of course, it's my daughter who makes the days special for her child. We are the support team, in the background, ready to reinforce whatever course she chooses.
Throughout my granddaughter's childhood we were there for birthdays...not at the party, but before and after to help prepare and clean up. Here's the picture of a birthday cake, apparently celebrating a sixth birthday (count the candles!)
We were there in the waiting room when she had an operation on her thumbs.
It's an interesting experience, being a grandparent. There is a supporting role, although the commitment may be absolute. A grandparent should be ready for whatever is needed, and yet that grandparent should be unobtrusive, keep a low profile. Never offer advice, unless it is solicited or unless the situation is dire. Be useful, but almost invisible, except when needed and wanted.
Maybe people will disagree with my idea of a grandparent's role, but it's worked for us. I think we have the perfect grandparent/grandchild relationship.
We won't be there Sunday, but we are sending a symbolic gift. My husband's parents were both immigrants from Ireland. This means my granddaughter is 1/4 Irish. I often talk about my Italian heritage. And she is very aware of her Puerto Rican heritage (her father's family is Puerto Rican). We don't really talk very much about her Irish ancestry.
So, we are giving her a small St. Brigid's cross. In this way my granddaughter will have a sense of legacy, an awareness about an important part of her background. Also, she will have a positive token, something that represents the love and care her family will always have for her. The legend of St. Brigid's cross is that it protects those who wear it from evil, fire and hunger. I certainly hope that is true.
What ever would the world do without grandparents? And, a fine choice of gift, if I may say so.
I never knew my mother's parents. They died before she married. From everything she said, I think they would have been a treat. Relationship with my father's parents was understandably strained. He and his father never spoke. His father picked up a lot of our bills because my father never paid. They were like strangers to me, although I knew them.
How about you?
As for the gift:🌷
My father's parents died before I was born. My maternal grandmother was a drunk, who persecuted my inoffensive, mild-mannered grandfather with her affairs and drunkenness. He was so delighted when she died, aged 59, that he immediately bought the record player she'd always refused to allow
him, and spent the next twenty years blasting out James Last and tripping the light fantastic.
When I was young, few women worked outside the home, one-parent families were rare and childcare wasn't an issue. These days, many grandparents seem to be saddled with raising a second family. I have several friends whose grandparent role involves taking their grandchildren to school, collecting them and entertaining them until their parents return from work, plus looking after them full time during school holidays. I've no idea how their children would manage without them.
My heavens. Your mother was in training to be drunk from an early age, I guess.
Wow...those grandparents really help out. We were support, but she raised her daughter. What a mother. I don't think she ever missed a ball game or swim meet. Didn't matter how tired she was.
You and I turned out to be fine women without the benefit of fine grandparents :))
!discovery
Thank you, @esther-emmanuel 🌷
😊
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Reading your story made me smile sweetly. It's a fitting read, for someone who no longer has both parents.
As a child, I was raised by my grandmother because both my mother and father worked.
I imagined the world would be so lonely without parents.
But fortunately, God gave me a loving husband.
I'm 33 now, and I don't know if we'll ever have children. But at least my husband and I are happy and content.
We've discussed the worst-case scenario: if we don't have children, we'll enjoy our twilight years alone, caring for each other. 😊
I always enjoy reading about how families across generations care for each other.
Best wishes to your granddaughter ❤️
What a lovely comment. Thank you.
Once we lose our parents the world changes. For me it was my mother, because my father was never in the picture. I don't think you ever really stop grieving...I lost my mother in 1986. Long time ago, but I still miss her.
You were lucky to have a grandmother that took care of you. Grandmothers can make wonderful substitute parents.
A strong marriage doesn't need children. Love. That's the thing that makes life worthwhile. Even without marriage, love of pets or others makes life rich.
I can tell by your writing that you are comfortable with your life. That is a gift. If children come, you will have that gift to share.
I'll try to share a picture of my granddaughter's graduation when it happens. It's hard to believe she is all grown up.
go support team! that's vital.
and that's not a young girl.. it's a bear with a extra set of eyes and nose.
😂