There's been times I've underestimated the amazing power and positivity that can come from the interaction with another person; it's not that I've taken it for granted, just that I have often been surprised at how momentous such a small thing can truly be when it occurs in the right moment.
A kind and gentle touch, a genuine and heartfelt comment, an ear to listen without judgement, a compliment given honestly and without expectation or a small act of caring, even just a smile can be, and often will be, so very impactful upon another person at moments in which the recipient is feeling fragile, alone, afraid or unsure.
Yesterday I was at the hospital with my mother getting her prepared for her chemotherapy treatment to begin.
She had a port-o-cath device inserted below the skin and connected to a catheter directly into the superior vena cava, a large vein above the heart. It's there to deliver her treatment intravenously. She will be on chemotherapy until the end of her life, and this was determined as the most efficient way to begin.
The last time she had an operation and chemotherapy to treat her primary cancer it almost killed her. The secondary operation and treatment was easier on her but now, with this tertiary cancer, it's expected the process will be quite challenging. She was incredibly nervous about it and didn't have a good day leading up to the appointment however relaxed a little thanks to a few small acts of kindness by a nurse.
Medical staff can be quite matter of fact, they deal with this sort of thing all the time, especially on a cancer ward, and they can lapse into a familiar process and do their job mechanically without much thought to the patient; it doesn't help that they are so overwhelmed with work. My mother and I understand this and work around it and I can only applaud the efforts of those who do the job, despite them seeming a little workmanlike at times.
The nurse yesterday was a saint, however. She couldn't do enough to put my mother, and myself, at ease and it made the entire process so much more comfortable. She didn't do anything wondrous, just small a lot of small things the most important being the explanation of what she was doing, what would happen and when and all with a gentle voice, calm demeanour and a kind smile. It's not the first cath-o-port my mother has had, but it was the best process of having it inserted by far.
My mother's life will reach a predictable point at some stage. but she keeps smiling even though she may not feel like it; she does that for me.
I cry a lot these days, when she can't see or hear, as I know I'll lose her someday soon but the strength I draw from that small act, her smile and the way it touches her eyes and seems to say, I'm alright and you will be too, helps keeps me going and so I smile too, genuinely.
I've lived my life with my mother and will continue to do so throughout this difficult time and beyond. I also try to smile now and then, for others, because it feels good and I know the power of a genuine smile when one needs it most; the thing is we don't always know who needs it or when.
Becca 💗
@becca-mac,
What could I possibly say, that hasn't been said... Or that you have not already experienced. You know the responses:
"I'm sorry"
"I hope things get better"
You know what I mean I'm sure... and there's just no way to know, without having "been there".
Oh dear friend... please know I send you so much love, strength, and prayers. Comfort as well, in this time of emotion and uncertainty. I call out to @snook, and @dreemsteem, as they are dear souls, and dear friends.
#seekpeece and #snookmademedoit
Please let us know how you and your mother are doing...
Love and light ✨
@tipu curate
!LUV
Hi there @wesphilbin,
I hope you're well.
It's not been a nice time of late, however we're all still standing and, rather defiantly, making the best of what we have. I really don't like being sad all the time, it's emotionally draining and seems a waste of life, but it's a most appropriate emotion sometimes. Having said that, we're focusing on what time we have, living as best we can and creating memories that will endure. It's something we've spoken about and agreed upon. Part of this is pushing aside the sorrow where possible but, as you well know, it's not always possible.
Thank you for your kind message, I appreciate it.
Becca 🌷
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I'm so sorry that this is taking place, I know how hard it is and I know the difficulty in trying to balance staying happy for their sake and the worry you feel deep down. You explained it perfectly and I'm glad that she was well taken care of by the nursing staff as it definitely makes it easier to handle when you feel like you're in good hands. I'm sending strength to you both. 🌼
It's a difficult situation but one we're working through; it's not something a person can really ignore although I have heard of some that do so. This is not how we're proceeding though and that means we'll go through some tough moments.
Thanks for your kind words.
Becca 💗
At the end of all my posts is the saying, "Help someone smile today. It can not hurt you." The rest of that saying is... "and it could save someone's life."
You are correct that your mother smiles for you, but she also smiles for the love she has for you. For how proud she is of you and that she is lucky enough that you are her daughter.
And your Mom is still teaching you life lessons with her smiles.
You both are so lucky to have each other in this terrible time. I am sorry to meet you under sad circumstances, but I am happy that @wesphilbin tagged me.
This year I spent four months in Florida with my 85-year-old Mom taking care of her after she broke her leg. It was hard because she could not walk for 12 weeks. But many good things came out of all that time spent together, not rushing around the world like we normally do.
We had conversations that we never would have had. Ones that were the best and most meaningful too. I do not want to ever have to do that again. LOL. But I would not have had it any other way.
This is your time together. Say everything you have ever wanted to say. Learn all the stories about your Mom you ever wanted to learn. She will be happy to share her real life with you and her hopes and dreams from when she was younger. You will learn how even more special your Mom really is.
I will be praying for both of you, so you have the strength to be there for each other when it is needed most.
If you ever need an ear, shoulder, or anything, just tag me or @wesphilbin, and he will find me.
SO SO SO many huge HUGS are being sent your way!!
A smile goes a long way and can mean many things and, despite not feeling like smiling, I'm glad I can still do so now and then.
Thanks for your kind words. I really don't like writing negative things here as most people probably don't respond well to it and so I tried to leave a positive message. I'm afraid I'm not in much of a good mood these days although sitting here and writing some words seems to help and so I make the effort.
Becca 🌹
Be strong, both for yourself and your mother. !love
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Thank you, it's greatly appreciated.
Becca 🌻
Ahhh... Not sure what to say. This is heartbreaking. Makes me remember the time I lost a friend of mine to a similar illness. We weren't that close but there was always something about the way he kept on smiling despite the illness - it was bittersweet - it broke my heart anytime I saw him like that.
Your mother seems like an awesome person for finding the strength to smile through it all, even if it's just for your sake.
Hmm... One of the many tragedies of life - yes. But that's why we smile.
Enough said though, take care Becca. I really wish you and your mother well🤍