What age in a child's life is the most beautiful for parents, which is the most exhausting?
Who does not know the saying "little kids - little worries, big kids - big worries". Whether that's true, i had already some discussions in the circle of friends between the parents of younger and older children. What is every phase in a child's life? Which age is particularly enjoyable and which one less? I have listened to and collected the opinions of many parents.
Babies - sugar sweet and very exhausting
Young parents are overwhelmed with the happiness of having a baby. The body releases endorphins (happy hormones), which help especially young mothers to get through the first few weeks. The certainty of keeping something unique in your new family member is reinforced with every look on your own child. In addition, there is usually a lot of encouragement by the environment - whether it is just the confirmation that the baby is cute or even real support. In addition, in most cases, mother and father have the option of taking a short break from work and maternity leave to fully devote themselves to the baby.
This attention also needs the child. A baby does not have a day-night rhythm and needs milk at night. The resulting lack of sleep inevitably depletes young parents. Added to this is the uncertainty that newly-minted parents often feel, especially with the first child: are we doing everything right? Is not our child seriously ill? Even a perfectly healthy and normal baby - not a scream kid or one with diagnosed physical ailments - can bring his parents to the brink of their powers. In addition, many parents still have the latent fear of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), which can be distressing in the first year.
The handling of a baby in the first year is often quite easy. Many babies are fairly undemanding and like to be taken anywhere. There is still no argument, because it does not like this or that. Babies ideally sleep a good part of the day and still do relatively little filth - either while eating or in the apartment; in babies who only feed on milk, not even the diapers stink too much. The disadvantage, however, is that "dairy babies" are very dependent on the mother, who thereby has quite a few freedoms.
Conclusion: If a baby develops normally - without long screaming phases and serious illnesses - then the baby age is a tiring, but usually really nice, intense and intimate time for the young parents. Many second-parents can enjoy them even more with the experience of the first baby.
Children of the Nativity Age (1 to 3 years) - mobile, curious and defiant
Our little daughter is just 18 months old and I can hardly imagine anything sweeter than a toddler exploring his world on wobbly steps and babbling with big eyes. In the first few years, the parents experience many milestones - the first steps and the first words - that they fulfill with real pride in their child and their newfound abilities. Even if the strangle phase comes at the end of the first year of life, most children from the age of one have first experiences with childcare by a third party (grandparents, a babysitter or nursery), which gives the parents new freedoms. The advantage here is that most children are not so much focused on their own parents.
However, children in their second year of life increasingly develop an awareness of their own personality and try as a result, to enforce their own will, cost what it wants. The defiance of their children has already shown many parents their own limits. Discussing with a small child who does not show insight and, in the worst case, freaks out completely, is just incredibly stressful.
Also, small children are by no means easy - in many ways, they are more demanding for their parents than they are for babies. A mobile child needs the constant attention of his parents, otherwise a misfortune happens quickly and the child hurts or something breaks. Toddlers try a lot and even if they do not hurt themselves, they quickly get frustrated when something goes wrong and start howling. Also, when children at this age increasingly hear the word "no" from their parents, it is often a cause for tears. In infancy, parents are really challenged for the first time as educators of their children. In addition, children of this age are barely able to engage in self-employment for longer and would like their parents to play with them. In particular, many mothers frustrated in this time, that it is difficult to keep the apartment only halfway clean - from toys such as leftovers. Year-old or two-year-old children are not very popular with older siblings as playmates either: they destroy a lot of what the taller ones have built - and that regularly causes screaming.
In conclusion, it can be said that children in the age of cribs demand their parents - and just an acute defiance phase can be really exhausting. On the other hand, the child is eager to learn and often seeks the closeness of the parents to cuddle and is often very sweet in his movements and nature. This makes the phase at the age of one to three years one that is very intense for both child and parent - with many great and small pleasures, but also numerous frustration moments.
Children of kindergarten age - the golden years?
Many parents rave about the kindergarten age in retrospect, and some even go so far as to describe the phase between 4 and 6 years as the "golden years". At this age, kids are pretty smart and you can make deals with them, like "if you, then ...". This is very helpful in many situations. At this stage, children are still curious and love their parents wholeheartedly, but they are also more independent and can work alone or with other children. This gives parents unprecedented freedom. The school with the associated stress and its restrictions, as far as vacations go, does not matter, the defiance phase is largely over. In this respect, living with a child between 4 and 6 years has many beautiful sides.
In some situations, having a child of kindergarten age is more demanding than having a small child. Although a child is quite accessible to arguments and deals at this stage, he often has a fairly clear opinion and claim. At this age, a child knows very well what exists and what others have. This can already lead to heated discussions.
But in general, many parents enjoy living together with children of kindergarten age - or they appreciate this phase in hindsight.
Child of school age - the seriousness of life begins
For most children, entering the school is relatively straightforward - and yet it brings big changes for the whole family. All of a sudden, from the outside - the school - homework demands something that has an impact on family life. Depending on the child, school and state, a lot of pressure on a child can be exercised in elementary school. This increases significantly in many families before entering the secondary school and after their start again.
The school has a significant impact on family life - often there is no all-day school and so child care needs to be redefined in many families. A child has to do or study homework in the afternoon, in many cases in the evening or on the weekend. The holidays of the family have to be directed from now on after school holidays.
However, living with a schoolchild has many benefits. Schoolchildren are more sensible than toddlers, already quite independent, physically fit and often interested in many things. Much more joint ventures are now possible: children enjoy sightseeing if they match their interests. Even a trip to a city can be fun and on hikes they are able to keep up. Traveling at a distance is also appreciated by children at this age - it may be something new and unknown. You can do a lot with your children at this age, but against the will of your own child this is difficult. Schoolchildren know what they want and what they do not, but they usually talk to themselves.
In summary, one can say that with schoolchildren there are many opportunities for activities and shared experiences. But only in the limits that leaves the school system.
A child in puberty - the respect of the parents is great
Almost all parents have respect for puberty. It usually begins in the defiance phase, that parents think "how it should be in puberty". Although children already have considerable mental abilities during puberty, in many situations they are also controlled by feelings and hormones, which sometimes causes parents to doubt the state of mind of their offspring.
But it does not have to be as bad as feared. Meanwhile, it is increasingly the case that there is no major confrontation between children and parents, and children have more understanding of their parents' situation - and vice versa. It is important in this phase for children to find their own way and to differentiate themselves from the parents. Children expect parents to help and advise them, but not fall out of their parenting role. Parents should continue to set rules that represent both friction surface, but also orientation and support for pubescent children. Here the demands on the parents are high. In general, parents can barely raise children at puberty. Instead, they profit from the foundations that they have laid in the years before - or not. Here comes the quote from the beginning back into the game: "big kids - big worries". Children have a lot of freedom during puberty - they are mobile and travel often without their parents. This causes many parents to worry about what might happen or happen. But fortunately, these fears are unfounded in most cases.
When parent-child cohabitation works, children are partners for business ventures and travel and teenagers who can help their parents with their household and care for their younger siblings. As a parent, however, one should not take for granted and always have the young person's needs for independence and self-determination in mind.
There are some nice quotes about puberty, this one from Mark Twain is particularly fitting in our opinion: "When I was 14, my dad was so stupid to me that I could hardly bear him. But when I turned 21, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned to do in seven years. "Puberty is a phase through which parents" have to go through "- and eventually it is over.
Conclusion - which phase in the life of a child is the most beautiful, which the most exhausting?
Physically extremely exhausting is certainly the life with a baby and a still young toddler with nights, in which one finds little sleep. Paralyzed parents often experience adversity and puberty. Even the school career of children brings their own challenges for parents.
Which is the most beautiful phase? That also depends on the parents. Do you prefer a sweet little child or one with whom you can experience a lot together?
In summary, every phase of a child's life has its beautiful sides and its own challenges. The greatest joy with their children is the parents, who try to make the best of each phase and to enjoy the time with their child as much as possible - moment by moment.
Generally a good attitude for living with children.
I´m looking forward to your experiences and additions.
Other Dad-Chronicals Stories
A witness to a force of nature - thoughts of a father about the birth of his child
How children experience their environment
Without fear to the doctor - relaxed doctor visits with children
Praise instead of punishment - education through positive reinforcement
"That did not exist with us!" - Children before and today
Hello new life - How my child changed me
Staying in the world of the big ones - where do children gain trust?
How do children learn? How can parents support them ?
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What a great article. Succinct and so true. I have a 5 and 9 year old so have been through a few phases and am heading into another.
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all parts of life are only PHASES :)
Ahh...all the things I get to look forward to.
you re very welcome ;)
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