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I’m far too forgiving ever to seek retribution, and I’m certain that if you lined up a hundred of my friends and questioned them under caution, they’d all agree. After all, to err is human, to forgive divine, and they don’t come much more divine than yours truly.
Besides, I try never to burn bridges. One day the road ahead may be blocked by marauding hordes and I may need to go back the way I came.
I’ve never believed in responding to an injury with an injury. That merely doubles the number of injured parties. I prefer to confuse people by denying them the reaction they expect, and perhaps deserve, so I invariably turn the other cheek. I agree with Oscar Wilde that one should always forgive one’s enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
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A couple of years ago, I paid a friend who was desperately short of cash three thousand euros to look after my dogs and chickens for three weeks while I attended Anarchapulco. After only seven days, she announced that she felt threatened by my argumentative little sod of a brother, who is fat, cuddly, incapable of hurting a fly and, in any case, lives in a separate house on the property.
Despite my pleading with her to stay until I could arrange a flight home, she refused and left. Nevertheless, I assured her that I bore her no ill will and honoured my side of the agreement in full.
She hasn’t spoken to me since.
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Posted in response to Galenkp's Weekend experiences asking ' ' Have you ever sought retribution against another person? ".
The images are mine
It’s true that revenge isn’t good; all it does is make everything worse and cause more suffering. You’ve kept your promise; the rest was something neither planned nor expected… that’s just how life is.
Indeed it is. Life's a bitch and then you die:)
That’s how it is, and that’s how this life ends.
Most likely she does not speak to you because of guilt. She knows she did you wrong. Especially taking all three weeks payment for a weeks worth of work. I wonder what it could have been about your brother that bothered her?
My brother is a gentle soul, but with a touch of OCD. Everything must be just so, right down to the bolts on sheds and gates being pushed fully home into their catchplates. Apparently, my friend refused to comply with his regulations and insisted on leaving them half-way, thereby committing what my brother regarded as a grave breach of protocol, punishable by immediate execution:)
That’s funny. 😃 and so very hard to comply with as well. lol
It used to drive me demented when he'd come into my house and started straightening everything on my countertop, but I've learned to keep schtum, wait until he leaves and then put everything back the way it was:)
That is terrible, my lovely @deirdyweirdy. I think she may have made up reasons to leave; your friend maybe took advantage of you. You should have paid her after the job was done. At the same time, we can be kind and trusting, especially if we think we know someone (do you?). I bet she would have stayed even if you came home late if payment were done after, lol. You kept the bridge open, but she chose to end it, maybe because of the money. It’s a pity that some people see money as more important than a good relationship or friendship, and losing trust seems unimportant to some who have their own motivations. Would you swap a good friend for £3,000? Come on, that’s stealing. She didn’t refund you. You have been so kind, TBH, I can be like that when there's enough for me, I share, but I am still learning, especially about people taking advantage, Lol.
It's very isolated here. You see nobody from one end of the week to the other. I think she just couldn't stand the loneliness and used my brother's OCD as an excuse. I do understand, so was willing to give her a pass and just not mention the money. I didn't expect I'd lose both the money and the friend though.
I am probably just very sceptical, stemming from previous experiences, as I got scammed many times, mostly with money, Lol.
She could not be honest; your brother is not you, so she should still have reached out to you. If she were a true friend, she would have done so. By not doing that, she proved her motives were wrong. I would not waste time on her, and I am sure the money went quickly, but she lost a good friend. 💕
HAHAHAHAHAHA! I remember that incident. I was shocked someone would do that. Such a great example. I have an issue happening right now that I will have to figure out how to do this without appearing to be a doormat.
Perhaps I can help by telling you what a doormat like myself would do and then you can do the opposite:)
I think I will try to bide my time for now. Throw some glares here and there to make them wonder if I've accepted the affront, or not. Problem is, sometimes I can't keep my mouth shut.
Hell no lol. I would seek her out and demand my money back and pay her only for what she worked for. Or take back something of equal value, sell it and give back only he weeks worth. No cops needed. I don't deal with cops. Ever.
But anyways, that's straight up breach of contract from the sounds of it. But I can also see your point in just letting it go. Sometimes it's best for sanity sake but it can leave a message for everyone else that people can walk over you and oh boy...
They will try.
Perhaps though, it serves as a good lesson also to never pay until the job is done and well.
Edit:
Just to clarify, I don't see that as revenge at all. Revenge is about making someone suffer because they wronged you. What I'm talking about is justice. Restoring what was agreed to. If someone is paid for three weeks of work and walks away after one, I don't see asking for the unused portion back as punishment. I see it as honoring the original agreement.
For me, forgiveness and justice aren't opposites. I can forgive someone without pretending nothing happened, and I can let go of resentment while still expecting people to be accountable for their actions.
I get your point of course, but I understood that the isolation may have been unbearable for someone used to the bustle of the city, so I told her so and gave her a pass. My conscience is clear and that's more important to me than either money or her friendship. Perhaps forgiveness is more unsettling than anger. People expect rage and demands for restitution. What they don’t know how to deal with is being told, quite sincerely, that all is forgiven.
You have a heart of gold that's for sure. I respect that.
Heart of gold? I'm not sure about that. I think it's all that Catholic guilt left over from my convent education:)
Oh boy tell me about it. Lol. My parents were(are) devoutly Catholic. Hardcore. Especially my mother. It was rarely a pleasant experience for me. I don't follow any religion now. My idea of what god is, is more inclined to everything and everyone as a part of the whole in its own unique experience experiencing itself.
😂One of your best :))
Your brother sounds just wonderful.
He's for sale if you want to make me an offer😂
😄
We say something a little different
To err is human; to persist is devilish
That means you might be given a second chance but not a third for sure
With me it's 50 strikes and you're out!:)
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