"9-1-1 What's your emergency?"
"You are not going to believe this, but my dog seems to have gotten into some trouble."
"May I have your name please?"
"Pranka Stern"
"Ms. Stern, the location of your emergency?"
"My front yard"
"Address?"
"666 Main Street"
"What is your emergency?"
"I just got home to find my dog missing, so I drove all around town and could not find her."
"I can connect you to the local Animal Control for that Ma'am."
"Wait, please hear me out. I did find her but I got called by my doctor about a recent visit, and then mother called and started telling me about dinner plans for this coming Sunday."
"Ma'am, Ma'am."
"Oh, sorry but I digress. My dog, my sweet Lulu has her nose stuck up another dog's ass!"
"Excuse me? Please repeat that."
"Yes. I am quite shocked, and I tried to get my dog to push her way out but I need help. Nothing worked."
"Ma'am did you try pulling them apart?"
"Sort of, but I didn't want to get shit all over myself."
"Understandable. Can you get them into a car to get to a local veterinarian?"
"Honestly, my dog is so far stuck up there I am not sure how she is even breathing."
"True, I have put a call to our local fire station to see if they can help. Stay on the line until they get there."
"Thank you so much, I am very worried here and no one seems to know what to do."
"Dispatch just alerted me that they will be at your location in approximately five minutes."
"Wonderful!"
"Do you have any idea how this happened?"
"Well, no one saw this happen but my dog has a bad habit of enjoying excrement, loving dirty underwear, and following dog ass everywhere. We have been to dog therapy, numerous training sessions with top trainers and she cannot stop loving ass."
"The fire department is on your street, do you hear them?"
"Oh yes, yes I do. You have been a great comfort Operator. Thank you."
"My pleasure, have a great night. Good bye now."
"Good night."
The firemen knock on the door and Ms. Stern answers.
"We got a call that a dog is stuck inside another dog's ass?"
"Yes sir and thank you for coming, they are in the backyard. Follow me."
"How long has your dog been stuck up there Ma'am?"
"I have been home for at least two hours, I got sidetracked by a couple of phone calls, my mother called about dinner on Sunday and I had to start preparing dinner. I noticed Lulu missing but sorry I digress."
"Would you say a few hours?"
"Something like that and I have no idea how she is breathing?"
"Good question Ma'am. Joey and I are going to try to gently pull them apart. Please stand back, there could be projectiles."
"Okay Joey, grab the hips gently and try to widen them as I grab Lulu's chest area and on the count of three we both pull in the opposite direction."
"You got it Boss."
"1, 2, 3 ... NOW!"
Ms. Stern screams in the distance as shit flies everywhere. The firemen are covered with shit but the dogs escape unharmed. Both dogs are delivered to their homes ready for a bath. All in a good day's work.
This post was written for the #dropintheocean initiative for @BuddyUP led by @Penederis. Hopefully, this post wasn't too dirty but this is what came to my mind for this week's topic of Digression. If you would like join in the weekly fun then join @BuddyUp.
A special shout-out to @ElGeko for sharing the second photo in @SteemSpeak, what can I say we have a sense of humor, and apologies if this is too vulgar for those of finer sensibilities. Sorry, not sorry.
Disclaimer: No creatures were harmed during the writing of this blog.
Yours,
Thank you for stopping by to read my blog. I’m a Certified Indian Blood member of the Hopi & Apache Native American tribes, Reiki Master-Teacher, Medicine woman in-training, paralegal, researcher, and writer based in the mountains of Colorado, USA. I work closely with fellow planktons and minnows in a few groups by helping them adjust to Steemit and curate quality content. I’m especially interested in finding others who love natural medicine originating from ancient practices, gold and silver, and energy work. Additionally, I'm the creator of Red Radio, #FreedomFriday, and #MedicineCardMonday so if you are interested in receiving Native American Medicine stop by my blog every Monday to say hello!
A'OO, Eagle Spirit
Congratulations!
This post has been granted a 100% upvote, courtesy to @wokeprincess, from BlissFish!
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So funny! And the images. OMG!
oh i am so thankful you think so, i thought i may have gone too far ... its always a gamble.
!gif cry
Hahahah I loved this @eaglespirit!!! This was hilarious. My husband is a firefighter and I can just imagine him getting a call about a dog being stuck in another dog's ass!!! And then getting dog shit all over him... talk about a bad day at work!! Haha
Great job babe. I was laughing the whole time!!
oh i am so glad you liked it, it is such a throw of dice doing this kind of thing. i noticed i do this with dialogues. ugh ... oh well ... my mind is too much sometimes. wow that is hilarious that your hubby is a firefighter ... can you imagine him being covered in poo ... poor guy! i hope that never happens to him LOL
thank you so much monchi! :)
Hahaha it's usually when we take chances our best stuff is born! And I'm sure that you and I are alike in that we don't get offended easily. And often times for me, the more vulgar the better. Sometimes I think I should have been born with a penis. Hehehe
You should meet the mousey that resides in my brain lol
OMG a kindred spirit!! woohooooo
yay another female with a femis bahahah
just made that up :p
Ok so I'm totally going to use that awesome word... femis!! Ha!! I freaking love it!
I love the crazy shit we can find to bond over hahaha
I can see this Really Happening in fact I used to see a lot of this in the Corporate World.......
Baha ... seee you so get it!! Hey it was supposed to be about the dogs man the dogs ...
one of these days you'll gonna get flagged for a shitty post 😂🤣😄😆
sorry i have to do this to you ...
!shitpost
you're gross ahahaha! is that even human's?
looks like mud pie ... it is gross but it fit in with your shit comment so well
The hay are noticeable ok...what do u mean? My shitty comment was cute😂🤣😄😉
it was cute, and the bot is kinda funny. some are saying it goes too far.
!popcorn
Too far? they prefer flagging methinks. But can you imagine a lot of shits around with the number of crappy posts day after day.
Perhaps we can use this when curating? that might be too much.
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This post has received a 3.13 % upvote from @drotto thanks to: @sbi-booster.
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!popcorn
!gif nod
I just.... B-b-b- b- but
What?
complete sentences please ...
!gif butt
Yip, this would be pretty damn funny, and worrying, it is everything wrapped up into one. Like, cry laughing. Good thing the operator got the address right off the bat, because they would still be listening to the story. A nice example of digression, in the funniest way possible
!gif applause
😂😂😂😂😂 Hahaha..... OMG 😜
This was AWSOME and it had me rolling... Lol
The story itself cracked me up and that picture of your dog up his ass... Just made my stomach hurt after laughing so hard.
Thank you for sharing this and for giving me a good needed laugh. You are amazing my sweet sister ❤️🤗❤️