I like to think of myself as level-headed. Not always over the top with my emotions, and generally, I have some measure of control over how I feel. But I'm only human after all, no matter how much control I think I have, there are days when it slips, and well, you have a bad decision day. One of those times was during my internship when my course-mate and I were working on a project. We were barely halfway through when he got an interview for another job. I knew how much he's been looking forward to that news and out of pure excitement and happiness for him, I told him not to worry, I’d finish his part of the project.
Just like that.
Without thinking. I didn't even consider I was already struggling with my own part of the project. I didn't consider that it would mean a doubled workload in the twinkling of an eye. The sleepless nights that followed were nothing short of punishment, and with the unstable electricity situation in my area, the stress was on another level. That was when I realized how dangerous excitement could be when making commitments.
Excitement has won me over on many occasions, not just at work settings but in everyday life. Another perfect example was this one random day at the market, I bumped into an old secondary school friend. You already know how these things go, the ear-piercing screams, suffocating hugs, and back-to-back catch-ups like it was the only thing that mattered. Right in the middle of this little reunion, in my over-flowing excitement, I offered to follow her around while she finished her shopping. Meanwhile, I was actually on my way out and already carrying heavy bags. Did I think about that? Not at all. So, there I was, dragging my heavy bags while accompanying her from one shop to another, completely forgetting that I had somewhere else to be. By the time we said our goodbyes, my arms were sore, my errands were delayed, and I was left questioning myself, why exactly did I offer to do that? Those things didn't come to mind because the gist was sweeter than my life at that point.
Not only have my emotions made me make some decisions on the spot, it has also make me to refrain from making decisions which could have yielded positive results. Feelings of fear and uncertainty has held me back from things that could have been worth the risk. I always think that something might go wrong even without trying it out the first time. And anger? Well, the result is as bad as the rest when it goes overboard. Saying mean things, acting out of character, deciding I won't have nothing to do with someone anymore just because I let my emotion overshadow.
Reaching emotional maturity is something that takes time. It's something that is worked on through constant practice, especially when it comes to decision making. Personally, one of the hardest things to do is to pause and think before acting. It even becomes harder when the decision I have to make seem like a rather small one, with no heavy aftermath. Sometimes I say yes to things just to avoid an uncomfortable situation, I find my myself shaking yes while my mind screams "you can do better"But after one or two occasions or regret, I learned to take a step back when necessary. No matter how tensed the situation is or the pressure to respond to something immediately, I remember to ask "can I think more on this?". A simple question, but it has been saving me from a lot of regrettable decisions and self-induced stress.
We might not always get a hold on our emotions, most particularly, in times when it becomes very essential, but we can try. Learning to take a step back will be a great start to reaching a level of maturity that is admirable.
This is why I don't make decisions or promises whenever I'm angry or excited, so i wouldn't have to regret later.