A man living close to my house died a few days ago. Guess what killed him - he died to an ailment he was nursing in secret. There's no day this man would not go to work, and yet despite his sacrifice for his family, he was always subjected to abuse by his wife, and the children always joined their mother.
This is a reality many men are facing, they live for their families and have no time for themselves or look after their health. Dying silently while carrying the burden of the family until when they cannot continue anymore and drop dead.
This has really got me thinking a lot about the lives of most men who carry the burdens of their family alone, and the nature of the suffering they go through silently. So many men go through far more than they ever admit, all in order to provide and sustain their families. They carry emotional scars that no one sees; not the public, and more often than not, not even those people there are suffering for.
Some of these men are ill and still working. They get up everyday, push their bodies beyond their capabilities, and go out to work because people depend on them. In spite of being sick, they choose to sacrifice their health for the sake of their children's comfort. They are cracking and falling apart, inside and out, and because they have no other choice.
I know that in some homes women stand beside their husbands to raise the family with them and this can make all the difference. But the honest truth is that so many men are traveling this road all alone; the provision, the problems, the entire house is resting on their shoulders.
The sad thing is that in some cases, men do not receive understanding from their families. In fact, many men are instead faced with more pressure, harsh criticism and sometimes even psychological abuse when they express their weaknesses or try to seek assistance. In certain cases, they find their own children even hating on them.
It can reach a stage where the man becomes like a tenant in his own home even when he is still carrying out his duties as best as he can and only looks forward to a day of reckoning.
That day often comes when he is no longer able to provide; when he retires, becomes unemployed, or simply cannot go out to work any longer because he is physically unable to. That is when he will actually know if he actually has a family to support him or if his entire worth as a man was only about his ability to provide for the family.
This is not a good reality to accept, but it is a truth that must be told. Men are carrying a lot of responsibility. Men carry so much. And they are doing it in silence.
The burden is further increased because most of us were never taught to discuss the pain we feel. We were made to believe from a young age that men should not show weakness, and should instead be strong and bear everything in silence. As a result, when we feel the burden becoming too much for us, we just keep carrying it until we crack from the inside out.