Oh, come on... Not again!?!
The Good Lady looked up from some weird Octupine yoga position.
What's up, Daddy-Bear?
She chirped cheerily as if the Yoga hadn't contorted her face scarily near her lady-olive.
It's that fucking torch again.
I said bleakly, standing and moving to the window to gaze out at the grey and wet of a typical Scottish summer day.
A torch? I thought you liked torches?
She said, twisting her leg up near her shoulder in an obvious attempt to imitate The Kraken.
Not this one.
My words hissed out between grimly clenched teeth.
It's the Hive one. You know, I've told you about it before.
I hawked up a bolt of phlegm and looked about for somewhere to spit it before remembering I wasn't in a seventies Western.
Reluctantly, I swallowed it back down into the pit. It had a foosty meaty taste, like bacon socks.
Oh the one where people send you a pile of that Hive money to prove that the community is strong because if you steal it you will be destroyed so no one steals it even though everyone who gets it thinks about stealing it?
She cackled like a crow snipping an earthworm in half with its wickedly sharp beak.
That's the one.
I shook my head. 710.014 Hiveys. Not quite enough to buy a new Xbox with. Bastards.
How many times you been passed it now?
The Good Lady cocked her arm above her head like a teapot whilst balancing on a leg and an elbow.
Idly, I wondered if she was trying to entice me in for a terrible mouth shandy.
She dispelled the notion by turning over and doing the same move but on her other side.
Arse shandy?
Reluctantly I came to the conclusion that she was just doing yoga and not trying to entice my sperms out.
I dunno, seventeen or something?
I picked at a spot near the window where our curtains would be if we had any of those evil things.
I quivered as the memory of an ex-girlfriend, Jannie surfaced. She always looked as if she dressed in curtains and not in a good way. That wasn't what ended us though. One day I realised I just couldn't keep seeing someone who's name rhymed with fanny.
So what are you going to do then?
She asked almost as if for the briefest moment she was interested in anything Hiveish.
I will just pass it on to some random Hiver. I suppose.
But who? I wondered.
And then it came to me. A fiendish plan.
A plan steeped in fiendery. So fiendish, that if the plan was a man, the man would be a van and that van would be an evil mauve colour.
I chortled with glee. Oh yes, knew exactly who to send it to...
All Titans need a Kraken nearby you know Boomy.
Oh, and trust me, if you send me that fucking hive torch you'll wish it was the Kraken that violated you with it's Kraken-proboscis...It will be nothing compared to the horrors I'll visit upon you.
Oh no!!! That was the fiendish plan!! The very fiendish plan of mine was that the first to comment would get it. I have to send it to you now!!!
You passed the test Or should that be failed?
I will go into hiding now!
Lol...Fuckety fucking fuck.
Seriously, now I'm going to have to punish you...Hmm, what to do...Force feed you Vegemite, or make you drink Fosters? I know, read Doby's poetry to you! Punishment indeed.
Edit: Boomy you cunt. You actually sent it to me? Asshole.
I had to!!! Its was the plan! I was thinking, who the fuck can I give this to and then I thought. I know - Let fate decide!
Fate chose ya G-Dawg!! It chose ya!!
Look, I still love ya bro...But you're a cunt, and damn me for being such a good engager! 🤣
It was mad cuntish. I thought, oh no, not Galen!
You will be top of the league!!
Curse my engaging thumbs, damn them I say.
Give him the Doby!
He deserves more than that Asher. But here's the thing...Now I can visit great pain and suffering upon someone else I guess.
or you could give it him back? :D
Haha, crossed my mind.
Maybe I'll give to that user that recently voted all his own comments...And that'll be the end of that!
That would be ten shades of mean!
Don't you dare, I'm gonna spend it on hookers and blow this time I swear!
HAhahahhahah!! You must have been psychic!! I was going to send it to the first reply and it was the G-DAwg!
A cunning plan, although it seems he is going to unleash the Kraken, or will it be a Mackem - even worse! :O
Maybe its a Krankem?
Fuck head.
:OD
Dear sir,
Truly you are blessed to be held in such high esteems here on this marvellous HIVE blockchain that you have received such an awesome gift so many times, no?
You are honoured, you are blessed and I am sure you made the noblest of decisions when consideration of whom to send it on to was made.
IT WAS HIM!!! GET HIM!!!!
If only internet pile ons happened like they do in real life...
Yes, I am more blessed than ever, in fact one day I will keep all the blessings :OD
In a white van there's a cove,
who's more evil than the mauve,
Yoga without windows rocks,
where to find bacon socks?
I like it... but surely, surely there is nothing more evil than the mauve!!! ;O)
Its pretentious pronounciation maybe
I don't think I have ever really known how
Say m and then try to throw up and just before you actually do say ve
Lol, that works!
Someone around here appears to be extremely pissed they were not passed the torch.
I thought that!! I thought aw, if that had come in half an hour earlier they would have got the torch!! :0D
Just when I thought people were ready to start having fun again. Fuck it. Summer's cancelled. LOL!
For a minute it was looking good!!!
How many do you think it'll chase off this time?
That's the thing you can rarely tell because often the ones that actually leave just leave and don't make a fuss
I'm confident the last push with idiotic downvotes cost this place potentially tens of millions; might even extend to billions over the next few decades. Fractured the art scene, the base layer of talent left, then the NFT thing happened. So instead of having a vibrant arts and entertainment scene here and on twitter talking about this place, familiar with crypto and all the intricacies, they were off someplace else. Some of those same people who were here did well elsewhere, and are still doing well, and are still attracting more to that destination. Won't even mention this place. Well I called it out that time, I explained why it's stupid to push away the stuff that attracts consumers, and explained how that attention spills over onto everything else. It snowballed, just as I thought it always would, but somewhere else, because the ignorant wanted to displace a few bucks.
So here we go again. Shoot yourself in the foot, round two.
I'm so glad I am too busy to make the first comments. I notice nobody wanted to touch this post.
Was it the torch? :))
I'm
notsorry you had to give it to G-Dog. Well, he unloaded it. I have had that thing too many times.It was a good way of deciding who it should go to without too much thought :O)
I will blame the torch for everything..
It was a great way! I wish I had thought about it. I think I just passed it off to Asher after you gave it to me.
Or maybe I gave it to you.
No. I wouldn't do that.
Lol, I cant remember the last one, There was definitely some passy abouty!
I am quite sure you would give it to me! :op
If I did, it will never happen again! I thought it was an honor! Next time, just send me the money. I'll hold it for you! I'm trustworthy!n ;))
As soon as I saw mention of the hive torch I thought I better tiptoe past this one 🤣 but it looks safe to comment now 😜
Aargh this torch 😆 why is it still a thing I mean the idea is great and all but it’s terrifying 😵
It is a terrifying thing. I thought of doubling down on you but then thought it was perhaps a tad cruel! This way seemed much easier.
Hopefully it ends soon. I am sure it has achieved its mission
After me foisting it on you without warning last time it would have been fair I guess ^_^;
I'm glad you didn't, I'm not exaggerating in the slightest when I say the numbers make me panic >_>
i think so. And I hope they donate it to hive dev funds or something x_x
I read that second line and I just keep thinking, Send me it someone, send me it!! I have found the next victim!!
The hive dev fund would be a great idea although I think that it is sloshing full of the monies!
You're so mean xD
I suppose they could donate it to a charity or something then. I donno.
Hehe, it's a kind sorta meanness. Is there even such a thing!? Lol
They should burn it! Send it all to
HELLNULL!There's tough love I guess but this is not that XP
That's also an idea.
If you pass it to some dodgy bastard, then it'll never come back to you!
The thought had occurred to me. But where oh where on Hive would I find a dodgy bastard! ;O)
Thanks for not sending me that torch. I'd probably just end up burning the whole place down.
I was going to send it but worried that it might be too colourful!
Lol. Yes, I tend to like my fires as bland and boring as possible!
Static too no doubt, Cant be doing with all that pesky flickering and fluckering
Yes, the fluckering is what really annoys me the most. Most fires will calm down if you hit them with a stick long enough.
I have poked them but maybe I should work on being a bit more swipey
Imagine swinging a sickle through the back of your enemy's head; that's more or less the motion you're looking for here.
Would the van look something like this .... but with a little more polish?
Oh no, no more polish required That is reassuringly evil :OD
Booms face on a ladys body.
Hmmm, a bit of a hottie!?!
You know its about to get rowdy....
Looks like I'm a hottie in any guise!!!!!! Lolz 🤣
Dont forget to use a spittoon! Just literally a spit jar lol
And the lady olive too. If a man cant love a little olive, than why even be a man.
Thats why when I hear people say they don't like olives I give them the stink eye!
Similar sighting sir. See I saw seventeen side by side plus special cinco so I sent said supplementary start everything with an S... I have no idea.
Sssssufering suckotash! See! Simple. I cant even manage a five worder, I take my hat off to you!
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And on it goes to...
Never to return to G-dog...or he might spend it on a new gun and end it once and for all...The torch, not himself.
See what this shit does to me? Makes me speak about myself in the third person.
The third person is great, Boomy like it!
I think he should fucking splurge on a new gun and say and fucking what when asked about it :OD
G-dog agrees, talking about oneself in the third person can be such fun. The ladies love it too.
G-dog wants a new gun.
G-Dog should get a new gun. Boomy definitely agrees. Boomy had heard this is the ladies too
🤣
Hi @meesterboom ,I like to read that while the good lady does yoga, she talks to you, the life of a married man is pleasant despite everything ha ha ha, the bad thing is having to make decisions based on what the couple proposes, let her decide who to send that amount to see who he chooses, well I guess he will not choose me, you can do the experiment