If I could go back in time and change something in my past, I wouldn't, because then I wouldn't be who I am today. And I wouldn't have my wife and daughter.
This answer, or anything similar...
Is LAME!
When given the opportunity to engage with a thought experiment and people give answers like this, it doesn't highlight some kind of superiority, and instead indicates quite the opposite. At least in my opinion, it shows someone who cares so much about what others think of them, that they are unwilling to put any of their own thinking into anything at all. They fear being wrong in their opinion and the judgement that goes with it, so give something they believe is "generally acceptable" to get a pass.
Besides just not caring enough to give a thoughtful answer, the other alternative to answer in this way is to avoid having to think about things that are counter to already held beliefs about the world, and about themselves. They are uncomfortable being uncomfortable, so avoid discomfort.
Maybe their thoughts and opinions are just so perverse, they don't want anyone to know their inner dialogue.
Inner dialogue is incredibly important to the way we experience our lives, and we all likely have a voice that guides us, whether we like it or not. But as I tell my daughter, there are no such things as "bad thoughts", but there are bad actions. It is not that we should spend our mental energy deep in the sewers of thought all the time, but we shouldn't fear our thoughts.
And a lot of people do.
Many don't admit it though, and have all kinds of strategies to weasel their way out of "having to think" about the topics that potentially disrupt their own patterns. These justifications come in many forms, but their unwillingness is usually hidden behind some kind of method to make them feel like thinking whatever it is, is beneath them.
Over the years, I have talked with a lot of religious people and the vast majority of them are unable to openly discuss their own religion, because they don't want to face questions they can't answer. When pushed, they will get upset, or will fallback on "because it says it in whatever holy book they read. They fear challenge to their faith, because that is their imported opinion, and once the question raises in their own mind, something that they keep supressing anyway, they will have to face that they *might be wrong.
I have spoken to a few though who are *very open to discuss, and these people are the ones who actually have a good relationship with their belief system - because they have questions themselves. They don't know if it is right or not, but they have faith that it is. And are able to live with their decisions in that ambiguity. It is rare though.
I have always found it interesting that there are "taboo" topics that people aren't meant to discuss, like religion, politics and sex, but it is exactly in these areas that people have the most conflict internally, and with others. Being able to openly discuss with people who have differing opinions is a strengthening process, but those who live in fear of being wrong, can't open themselves up to the challenge. And the way they behave indicates their fears.
It is like those people who say "I don't care what anyone thinks of me" but tell everyone they can at every opportunity possible. It is like they are trying to convince themselves that it is true, and if only they say it aloud and enough times, it will be so.
The lady doth protest too much, methinks
_ Shakespeare
So many spout how they want more freedom, but if they aren't even free to think about anything and everything, what freedom can they actually achieve? Is it possible to be free, and live in fear of having the wrong thoughts? At least for me, being able to think about "anything" is part of the joys of life. Why put unnecessary limitations on ourselves, especially when they are constraints on our imagination?
"Self-preservation"
When it comes to thoughts, ideas and imagination - it is preserving the ego.
...Thinking is dangerous.
Taraz
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Those who do not want to change their past have a valid reason, even if it is a little. However, I think that such people are not open to innovations. Maybe they would have a better life, better conditions. If they lost their spouse and children a few years later, would they think the same thing again?
And this is the thing, isn't it? They assume that the future is going to be the same as the current situation. We as humans are very bad at predicting our future feelings, yet we let them guide us thoughtlessly.
Without the fear of judgement, I think we can go deeper into our own thoughts and those of others, opening up the possibility for meaningful discussions that will go beyond just surface-level disagreements.
It seems the fear of the ego will blind most people to any discussion and still provide them the sense of self-righteousness.
I think getting such opportunities is really rare and if people would think about what others would say that really stupid.
Actually making a change in the past isn't all about marriages or children but it's actually to correct the things which we still regret upon and think them to be really embarrassing, inshort trying to be the best version of ourselves.
You are totally right by saying the fact that's lame considering people's thoughts about our lives. We should actually live with our perspectives and our ideologies.!
Wow! I got something crucial from your post- "Being able to openly discuss with people who have differing opinions is a strengthening process."
This is very profound.✍️
Just because it is lame doesn't make it any less true! I often think something similar. Let's say things went differently. You can hope they would have been rosy, but if they hadn't, you really have no clue.
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STOPWhile the rest of the post is very interesting, this part is a lame criticism. It's not the answer that is wrong, but the question. If you really want an interesting answer, something reflective, then ask: "If out in the same situation again, what action would you not repeat?"
I do not regret any decisions I made because of what you call lame. And I certainly do not lack of thinking, nor do I'm shy of encountering discomfort. Life would find a way to shove it down my throat, anyway. To me, your argumentation ironically disqualifies a lot of your later thoughts, which are correct, as it seems to me that you didn't think it through.
Nor bad words. It's what we associate with them. Being able to listen closely, and deeply, listen to the feelings and emotions behind the words, and the words become meaningless because their essence is something different. We think in words, which is very interesting as well. I never read about that, yet. Gonna go do some searching these days... Anyway, the "bad" thing is always in relation to society. We do have to watch our words, as we have to consider other people's associations with what we say.
Love this one. It's so true. There are many people who don't question what they're doing, nominally having a religion, but truthfully not having any. Custom, not belief. Religion can bring a lot to many people, as all spirituality, be it a theocratic or philosophy.
Sorry about the late comment, I was busy partying and cleaning this weekend, and I would not tell my younger me to not do that - for now. Maybe a cirrhosis will teach me otherwise.
What are you doing to meet your goal?
ah - so nothing practical. If you were to learn from me, you would already have made the trip.