So this week’s prompt asked;
What popular worldview, quote, or social belief do you think has negatively influenced our society today? How do you protect younger people around you from adopting that mindset, and how do you personally resist the pressure to conform to it?
Image is mine.
The first thing that came to my mind was the conversation I had with my cousin recently “all man for himself”
We’ve all heard it. It’s said like a joke, but underneath, it’s advice. Advice to look out for number one, to stop helping, to stop caring, because nobody else will do it for you except you do it for yourself.
On the surface, it sounds smart. Self-love, independence, protecting your peace and yeah, they matter. But when “all man for himself” becomes the rule you live by, something breaks.
A society where everyone only thinks about themselves isn’t a society. It’s just a crowd of people passing each other. The NGOs don’t run, because the facilitator(s) are thinking of how life can only be better for them, the neighbor whose rent you helped with stays homeless, and so the circle continues. The world gets smaller, colder, and it’s not a coincidence that anxiety and loneliness rise with it.
I’ve seen this mindset take root in younger people around me. They think that helping others is weakness, that kindness is a waste of time. So how do I push back?
First, I show them the difference between self-care and selfishness. Taking care of yourself means you can actually show up for others. Selfishness means you refuse to show up at all.
Second, I practically point to the people who made life better for them; family, teachers, aunties, strangers who paid a fare or even gave directions to them and even their friends or classmates. None of those people were thinking “all man for himself” that day.
Third, I let them help me and their friends or siblings in small ways. As little as helping get something from a nearby store, intentionally making them seek help when they know they can’t finish a task alone, being appreciative of those that helped them no matter how little. I do this with my nephews and nieces thereby making them see that having people is good, showing care is also good and doing life alone without helping or caring for others or even cared for is going to make life a lot more depressing and lonely.
Personally, I resist the pressure by asking one question; “If everyone acted like me right now, would the world be better or worse?” I sometimes also want to be selfish but it doesn’t end well. So for every time I feel pressured either from someone else’s actions to be selfish and be about myself, I ask “if everyone acts this way, would the world be better or worse?”
Image generated by Meta.
“All man for himself” feels like protection. But real protection is knowing you live in a world where people still choose to help, even when they don’t have to.
Thanks to @yechee for this question.I love that I’m able to participate in the discussion.
And to you reading this,thank you for reading 😘
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You raised your level and are now a Minnow!
The world wants everyone to be 'self centered' because there's an agenda to it. You are right; we can care about ourselves AND care for others as well. We are charged with doing just that!
Thank you for sharing and have a lovely day! !LADY
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Yes, Elizabeth. Thanks for your comment
You are welcome!
Beautiful post! Every corner of the earth these days is filled with advices of selfishness, and that tells a sour story of how much we are derailing from goodwill. By committing only to self, communities are lost, families are divided, and friends are left to walk this life alone.
Nobody wants any of that and I'm glad that we have people like you who challenges these norms and seek ways to teach the younger ones to be better. Well done. I hope you have a great day!
👏 true. Thank you ❤️
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