Comedy open mic round 23 - Got summoned to #general

in #spam6 years ago (edited)

Well, I certainly didn't expect to be hanging out in #general this morning.

Around 8am @bitcoinnewsvideo jumped on #general to complain about being on the @buildawhale blacklist and how he was being harassed.

It didn't take long for me to get summoned and auto-joined.

I knew immediately who it was, but had no clue what was about to go down.

I'm not one to beat around the bush, so straight to the point as always.

The posts in question are just YouTube videos using computerized text to speech.

@steemitadventure killed me with the comment:

Which I had to add some upvotes to each one, of course right?

But it's real crypto news...
I don't know if it is just me or not, but the moment I start a video that has a computer talking I immediately stop the video.

Not long later I am told what is in store for me in the future.





Ain't that the truth.

Later on, we come to find out he will be rewarded by God for his work.


Then he dropped this bomb, needless to say, memes ensued.

image.png

I'm not one to turn down a good opportunity to meme.

Seems like $1 too many.

image.png


During our 25-minute or so conversation, he managed to knock out 4 more posts!

image.png

Laughter is a good way to start the day off. Although it's a serious matter, he feels he is fine posting as often as he likes, but it is not good for the community nor is it good for him. 100 $0.00 posts that no one reads or listens to does no one any good.

If you are just coming to Steem, you don't need to load all your posts on to Steem hundreds a day. They are not going to get read, they will not get upvoted, and your first impression will be that of a spammer, something that will leave you frustrated and disappointed with your experience on Steem.

On the other hand, if all your posts consist of is a 4.5-minute video with computer synthesized text to speech, you will likely never build an audio, no matter how good your content is. I don't think I am alone in that when I hear a video that is text to speech, I immediately close it.

I like to nominate @bitcoinnewsvideo and @nicnas for the next round.




X48EJ

Why you should vote me as witness

Witness & Administrator of four full nodes

Active, Present, Passionate

My recent popular posts

STEEM, STEEM Power, Vests, and Steem Dollars. wtf is this shit?
The truth and lies about 25% curation, why what you know is FAKE NEWS
WTF is a hardware wallet, and why should you have one?
GINABOT - The Secret to your Sanity on Steemit
How to calculate post rewards
Use SSH all the time? Time for a big boy SSH Client
How to change your recovery account
How curation rewards work and how to be a kick ass curator
Markdown 101 - How to make kick ass posts on Steemit
Work ON your business, not in your business! - How to succeed as a small business
You are not entitled to an audience, you need to earn it!
How to properly setup SSH Key Authentication - If you are logging into your server with root, you are doing it wrong!
Building a Portable Game Console

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Oh man this was funny...I haven't enjoyed a Steem post this much in a while! I think the moral here is that people like that do add value to the Steem platform because they lead to posts like this...

For fucks sake man. Enter this bit of fucking GOLD into @comedyopenmic, please. I am begging you. I loved every minute of this post.

You are the best! can I talk you into also nominating 2 people so it is a legit entry and throwing comedy open mic round 23 in the title?

:)

I would suggest one of them being @bitcoinnewsvideo but you are totally free to make your own choices sir.

Do that and I'll vote for ya again Mark.
teehee

Done :)

You are the best!

I am judging this week and not to let everyone in on it so "keep it on the down-low" but if I draw this one it is definitely getting 5/5

That's just between us though ;)

Hah, I got the luck of the draw. Boohoo to you @doomsdaychassis.

That is just mean.
:(
I will just trust that your delightful sense of humor will appreciate the beauty of this post.

witness this, bitch.png

Thanks ;)

Anytime~

Wait I can do this only once lol.
:P

👊

He slaps comedyopenmic as a tag
I vote him for witness.

better pony up. If he makes it a full entry with title and 2 nominations he has my vote also. I love this stuff.

This is the worst promo of COM, isn't it?

hits self on head

smashes his balls

and then let @doomsdaychassis wash them!

Midway through the post.. when god shows up

so if this guy isn't boosting his posts , why do we care whatever the heck he is doing on his account?

the excessive posts alone are a bad use of bandwidth that others could be doing legit posts with

If he starts boosting his posts.. the situation evolves to worse

isn't it also true that you get assigned a specific bandwidth according to your SP , so is it even possible to dip from other user's bandwidth.

BTW , I am being devil's advocate...this guy certainly seems to be needing some adjustment.

Bandwidth is as broken as rep right now.

so am I wrong in my statement above?

Technically no, but the fact bandwidth is so broken that the number #1 bandwidth user had less than 20 SP bandwidth a 500 SP delegation.

It doesn't take much bandwidth to be able to post as fast as the 5-minute post cooldown allows. The #1 bandwidth user had no posts/comments and was all wallet memos. But the system is really broken and doesn't serve any purpose in its current form, in fact, it does more harm than good as when there is a lot of network activity minnows tend to run out of bandwidth just doing a few things.

if he isn't boosting posts do we even care?

I'd say yes. First off, the blockchain is growing at an alarming pace, needless shit just causes it to grow faster for no benefit to anyone, his posts will never get votes, not in its current form and frequency unless he gets steem power or uses bots.

Nonsense like that just makes the community look bad to outsiders, an issue we are already trying to fix.

Bout time you made an entry! I voted for you before I even knew what witnesses actually do because I thought you were funny.

That being said, I feel bad for God, always getting dragged into anything and everything must be frustrating. My prayers to him finding common ground with everybody!

But damn 114 posts in one day? I don't even think I've made that many in my whole career. Smh Anywho, PEACE!!

Sounds like a normal day on the steemcleaners discord.
Trust me, I am not a doctor, but there all the time.
:))
The amounts of gods that have been called is insane

That doesn't surprise me, to be honest.

Steemit gold, indeed! At least you were good-humored enough to let that ridiculousness play out – and had the presence of mind to screenshot / record it so the rest of us can enjoy it, too!

Do let us know if you mysteriously find yourself swimming in flamin' feces. LOL!

If flagging is a sin, what happens if @god flags? does that mean that flagging is atonement for sinning...

If that's the case maybe I need to flag more to help atone for that weekend in Bangkok

Dang, I hadn't realized flagging was a sin. I'm in real trouble here.

Me too! Lord please forgive me for flagging spammers, plagiarizers, identity thieves, and the occasional shitpost that has way too many bod bot votes. Oh and Lord forgive me for saying shitpost.

Bitcoinnews 5:2 "Thou shall not flag. Everytime you flag someone a sloth will fall from a tree and you will burn in the fifth sloth hell for it"

Posted using Partiko Android

Suffer not the flagger to live!

@themarkymark
I has flagged twice today already, I think I have a problem.
My sins are many, can they be forgiven?
I see that you like unicorns and rainbows.
I too like these but most of all after I eat my happy pills.
I still don't know what this place is but you seem nice.
Love meatwad.

Neverending Poop
Source

It never ends!

This how I come up with my content.

Hi themarkymark,

Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating, this will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied.

Judges:

If you have any questions or quieries please feel free to contact one of the judges or come say hi in discord: Click Here

Click To Vote @ComedyOpenMic For Witness And Disrupt The Steem Blockchain With Laughter!
Support COM Banner

Thank you to @matytan for the great banner

Hahaha.
Classic.

Just another regular day in the chat ...

Moar steem gold?

Steem Gold: auto-bump your comment to the top regardless of the value attached to it.

Flagging is a sin?

You mean.. "Flagging is in"

That is next level poop right there! Does he really believe all that stuff? Amazing.

Steem steem steem love it.
Steem gold or steem like a gold😎

omg too funny! If only you could have been dragged into that convo at a more reasonable time of day.. at least let you get your first coffee down..

I seriously LOLed. Thank you for sharing your adventures with morons.

This made me smile. 😁😁😁😂😂🤣
Thou art a sinner if thee should flag,
Flatulence to the flagger

Suesa with the popcorn is we.

Hope you didn't find any "lumps" floating around in your first cup of coffee this morning. lol.

Once again @themarkymark has brought out the gold in steemit. You can't buy drama this good!
I am still laughing this has to go in the steemit hall of shame.
Thanks so much for making me laugh so hard.
Today was a tough day and this smoothed the rough edges.

Off topic....but tonight I went to check out converting those Byteballs over to Steem. On Bittrex they want a actual photo ID like a license or pass port and all sorts of other personal information. I am a bit uneasy about giving out a legal photo ID plus other personal info...you read about these exchanges being hacked into, it makes me a bit nervous. How safe is it to do that sort of thing?

interestingly, it sounds much less frightening if you say "manure" instead of "fecal matter". </useless_knowledge>

holy shit that was funny, yeah you got my witness vote.

Hahaha the cherry on the cake was you nominate him. I think his participation will be a video of poop burning, sent by God.

Was this your first COM entry? I am so happy that you posted here. I always enjoy your memes...I think someone called you the king of memes or something along those lines...at least I think it was you. With your perfectly placed comment memes. This was no different, I laughed, so thanks for the laughs! Keep COM'ing!

Yes my first, I wasn't expecting to enter, just relaying a funny situation.

So Mark... if I self flag, am I sending myself to the eternal pits of flaming feces?

I thought it was helping me stay humble... I've been misinformed.

I wish I had popcorn while reading this post. Watching the scenes unfold was quite entertaining. I love how he started off...if another bot posts on the bot 😂. Not only are we dealing with spam posts, now he wants to create spam bots. Lively discord room!