You can't make this stuff up - Leaky is leaking again!

This is the last published installment of my WordPress blog series (unofficially named, "The Adventures of Lumpy and Leaky," where I share the trials and tribulations of my breast cancer scare this past summer). Next up - a never-before-published (probably for good reason - LOL) accounting of the surgery prior to this post.

Spoiler alert - I made it through all this okay, and it turned out not to be cancer, but I'm still having some ~~ridiculously annoying and pathetic~~ health issues that may or may not be tied to this. Figured I might as well give my new Steemit friends a peek at ~~more about my health and issues than even my closest friends would want to know~~ my experience.

From September 25th, 2017 (original story is HERE )

9. Leaky is leaking again (aka my breast cancer concern).jpg

(Graphic created on Canva)

Seriously.

I mean... ugh, I can't even.

And it's not even from the same place. Plus, I've apparently popped a stitch (but that's not why Leaky is leaking).

If you're squeamish, you may want to run away now. However, if you want to hear the "truth is stranger than... forget that, YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP" version, read on.

Image made at imgflip.com

You've been warned.

I originally planned, after taking a boob break last week to speak a bit o' pirate, to finish the monstrously long and ridiculously detailed surgery update. However, my interesting life had other plans...

Sunday, the 17th, I managed a trip to the store all by myself - the first time I've done that since mid-June. Things were finally starting to feel like normal again. I should've known then something was up.

Are you frelling kidding me right now?

Tuesday afternoon, as I was heading into the shower, I noticed what appeared to be a small bit of black fuzz on my incision. Since I'd just taken off my black cotton tee-shirt, it made sense, so I attempted to swipe it off. When it didn't budge, I lightly scratched at it with my fingernail, then watched in horror as a tiny bit of black blood oozed out. I immediately decided I must've just given myself a bit of a scrape, and it would clear up in no time, then hopped in the shower.

Half hour later, when it was still oozing more than a minor cut should, I called the doctor's office and left a message for Dr A's assistant (since she was out of the office for the week, because of course).

My bruise is doing what?

A short time later, her awesome assistant called back (seriously, everyone in the office makes me feel better any time I talk to them), and said he'd consulted with a number of the docs in the office, and they'd all come to the same conclusion. He said (and I'm paraphrasing, as I was shuddering too hard to pay attention to his actual words) if you get a large amount of bruising from surgery like I did (I mean, Leaky looked like a Poké Ball with yellow & green instead of red, and black & blue instead of white), and your body doesn't manage to reabsorb all the blood, it's not uncommon to have it leak from your incision a couple weeks later.

via GIPHY

He said to rest, keep an eye on it, and bandage it as necessary while also letting it stay uncovered whenever possible. Also, to call if there were any changes.

Seriously???

So for the next four days, I alternately bandaged up my boob, or gave it a chance to breath gauze-free. The first couple days saw the amount of liquid increase, but then it seemed to slow down. I was ~~whiny and bitchy~~ achy and sore, but I figured the worst of it was almost over. I figured wrong.

Am I on Candid Camera or something?

Yesterday morning, as I was taking off the overnight bandage, I decided to clean off some of the tape residue. Oh, and I don't know if I mentioned before, but half of my incision came out picture perfect (the top), but the other half separated a bit, probably before I even left the hospital (Dr A is amazing, but even she can't fight Gravity and Swelling when those two villains get together). So you'd think the ooze would happen from the bottom half, right? Nope - the liquid decided the path of more resistance was the better choice, so it popped out of the perfect half.

However, the bottom half felt left out, and decided to join in. Which brings me to cleaning up - as I worked on getting the sticky goo from tape off, I felt a tiny rough spot at the lower end of the incision. I lightly scratched at it, something tugged, then suddenly there was about a half inch of string hanging out of the almost-completely-healed cut.

via GIPHY

Can this be over now, please?

Since I wasn't running a fever, and nothing looked infected, I decided to put another dressing on, and wait until today to figure out what's up. I called the doc's office so early this morning that I got their answering service. I wicked-overshared (which is apparently my superpower) my situation with the very nice man who took my message, and now I'm waiting to hear back.