It’s with a very heavy heart that I tell you we had to say goodbye to one of the best friends we’ve ever known this past Monday, our beagle Amstel. Many of you who’ve read my blog regularly since 2016 have seen countless pictures and video evidence of Amstel’s antics and cuteness in those seven years but our history with him stretches back a lot further. It’s going to be difficult to explain how significant he was to us in words but I'm going to try.
Amstel came into our lives in March of 2008, before my wife and I were even married. He was already three months old when we took him home from the breeder. Amstel was the last of his litter to be adopted because, as we discovered later, he was born with an abnormally short sternum (which normally provides protection for the heart), which undoubtedly made hunters shy away from taking the chance on him. Let me tell you, it was their loss.
Although he was the largest puppy the breeder had, he was still so incredibly tiny. My wife picked Amstel out of eight or so other beagles because he followed her around when we were visiting the breeder and he also had a small white dot on the back of his neck that caught her eye. Amstel was a breeze to train and was housebroken in just a few days. The household, very quickly, fell into our perspective roles. I was Amstel’s walker, his chef, and the playmate. My wife was the snuggler, walker, and playmate.
We owned a home when Amstel first came into our lives. He loved the backyard of our small craftsman style bungalow and walks through the neighborhood. Our son, Martese, lived with us for the first few years of Amstel’s life and he quickly became Martese’s “puppy brother”. The seasons and cycles of life continued as the stream of time swept us right along in its current.
Amstel (a.k.a. - puppy boy, stinker, bubs, stink man, the King of Cathedral Hill) joined us through four moves, thousands of miles of walking, car trips across the breadth of America, even a short stints living in Brooklyn and Arizona. As I worked on my novel, Alarm Clock Dawn, and countless short stories and poems Amstel was always by my side, content just to be with his pack. He especially enjoyed it when my wife and I were able to leave our day jobs in 2017–8 for me to write full time. Amstel was finally able to be with his pack 24/7.
His favorite thing to eat in this entire world was chicken. He expected a treat when he came back from every walk. While we were outside walking there was rarely a day that he didn’t get at least one compliment from a stranger. After his last big walk in the evenings there was always shenanigans’ hour. Amstel would do his trademark double bark then proceed to run around like a crazy man and bark at us until he finally settled down to have a good chew, either cod sticks or a cow ear. In his final years he took to stalking delivery drivers for treats. Just one look from him and their hands would disappear into their pockets for a Milk Bone.
Amstel snuggled up close to us in bed, wanting to bury his nose under the covers but after a few hours he’d always move down to the foot of the bed to sleep on his favorite Victoria’s Secret heart blanket. He quickly claimed this soft blanket from my wife and she had to buy a second one to call her own.
While we walked there were a few certain places in the neighborhood where he always got the urge to run. It was always a mystery to us why he did this. He would look at us over his shoulder then rear back on his hind legs and bark with all of his being. After the gigantic bark he wanted to run. When he was young and healthy the runs would last sometimes a block. As he got older and his heart disease progressed the “runs” would consist of around five feet but it was one of his many routines that just had to be satisfied.
Amstel loved freshly fallen snow. Fresh snow excited him to no end and he would rush forward and push his front paws through the snow then bark with excitement. He did this just a few days before he passed, in fact.
Amstel was diagnosed with a heart murmur in 2019 by the University of Minnesota veterinary hospital and the team told us that the condition would progress quickly into full congestive heart failure and gave Amstel around eighteen months to live. We choose not to give Amstel the pharmaceutical drugs the team recommended and try to manage the condition with continued exercise, herbal medication, and healthy food. It worked. We’re convinced that, especially the herbal medication my wife found, extended Amstel’s life tremendously.
We were so lucky to have another, nearly four years with Amstel. Those last four years were packed full of some amazing memories and he was part of nearly all of them. We noticed Amstel wasn’t acting like himself on Sunday. His back legs didn’t seem to be moving normally, he was coughing more than usual, and he seemed listless. We took him to the vet first thing on Monday morning. They examined him, did a blood draw and urine analysis and brought him back into the room with us and his condition very quickly deteriorated.
We’re now feeling a huge void Amstel has left in our lives, letting the passing hours start to heal us, and figuring out what life will be like without him. The things we miss about him are far too vast to list here. I had a dream about him the night after he passed. I opened our condo door and there he was, younger, looking happy, and healthy.
We have so many good memories and pictures to reflect back on. Amstel added such an immense amount of joy to our lives and we were very lucky he chose us to be his pack members. Hug your loved ones (including your pets) extra tight and consciously cherish the time you have with them. As the past few years have taught us all, things can change very quickly.
The YouTube clip below contains a few of our memories from the past fourteen years with our little guy.
Rest in Peace, little buddy. I realize there will never be another one quite like you. Know that you were loved immensely and will be remembered always. We both hope you’re there to greet us when it’s our time to cross over. It sure would be amazing to see your smile again.
All for now. Trust your instincts, invest in you, live boldly, and take chances.
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Aw mate, so sorry to hear this. Losing a beloved pet is so hard. They become a part of your soul and I know it leaves a big hole for some time. Keep him close in the memories. :0(
Thank you! It does take a while to recover. You don't realize fully how much they add to your life until they're gone. We got the paw print as a memento from his vet and plan on having a tattoo artist trace it and have that tattoo done as a reminder of him. He'll be able to travel with us wherever we go. Hope you're having a good week!
Aw that's a great idea! I really love that.
Good week here, although I am probably just saying that because it is near the end of it :0)
This is saddening, I guess having aged a lot, I remembered when you wouldn't let Amstel so some physical activities because it was strenuous or stressful. It's been so many years of amazing memories, I'm sorry for your loss Eric. Such an amazing breed it was and seeing it go like that. Take care of yourself. I'm sure Amstel lives on in your memories.
Thank you my friend. We miss him a lot but are trying to focus on those good memories. The house will seem very quiet for a while. Hope you're well!
I'm sorry I missed this reply, you'll surely miss him and he'll be irreplaceable. I know he's in a better place now.
Oh, I am so sorry.... 💔 My sympathies. Your post... is filled with love, and care, and frendship, and lots of sweet memories. You remember so many details, precious moments.
Beagles are a breed that falls in love with itself. I would like to have a beagle...
Sending you my virtual hugs and
!LUV
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Thank you @zirochka! Beagles are the best and Amstel had enough character for five dogs. Lol. We'll be getting another beagle at some point but want to get all of our global traveling done before we get another dog. We still have to visit your country when we can. : ) I hope you and the family are doing okay. You all are constantly on our minds and in our prayers.
💙💛
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I am very sorry friend Eric, Amstel was surely the great friend of the family, I imagine that the children are also very hurt. My heartfelt condolences to all your family, they are not pets, they are family members.
Thank you Isabel! Although we miss him terribly, each day is getting a little easier. We decided to take a few years' break from animals. We're going to travel and make sure we're somewhat ready to settle down before bringing another dog into our lives.
I'm so sorry for your lost man, i hope god give strenght to your family to overcome this lost, he is in peace now.
Thank you! It comforts us to know he's no longer suffering.
Once I wrote this about death
I had never had such a dark and at the same time so calming thought and that is that in the end, death can be an escape from so much suffering, like waking up from a nightmare. And when you see it that way, death no longer terrifies you, it is rather your friend. In the end, I only ask myself to have achieved the things I always wanted to experience, be and see. So that when I have to leave, I do it with a smile on my face.
That is really beautiful and a wonderful way to think about it. Thanks for sharing.
That is really beautiful and a wonderful way to think about it. Thanks for sharing.
Awe Eric, I was so sad when I heard that your beloved Amstel passed on, I'm so very sorry my friend.
He was one lucky doggie to have been chosen by you and your wife, I'm sure he came to you in your dream to show you that he's young and healthy again as that's what I absolutely believe happens to us all.
You at least have beautiful memories of fun times with your special Amstel.
Take care and remember those times 💔
Thank you my friend! We were so very lucky he chose us. I can only hope our next beagle brings us half as much joy. I was so happy to have that dream of him. It brought a little comfort. I'm trying to concentrate on the good memories now and there's plenty of them! Thanks again.
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RIP Amstel. I know it is a sad situation. For this reason, I don't want pet any animal anymore. When we lose them, it is like we lose someone in house.
Thank you! It certainly does take some time to recover!
Sure, I would suggest not replacing him with another one.
Sorry to hear that. Also my cat passed away three days ago (on Sunday). Life goes on (until it doesn't).
I'm so sorry, man! It's very tough. Time heals though, we're focusing on the good memories.
I can't believe it, Eric. I'm so sorry! Those of us who have read your blog, know how fond you were of Amstel. I know how much it hurts to lose a pet, especially one that has shared with us for so long. There is a movie, I can't remember the name of it at the moment, that tells the story of a dog who is reincarnated several times until he finds his owner again. And if that doesn't happen, hopefully dogs will be the ones to welcome us when we cross the great bridge of life and death. I send you a hug of encouragement and strength.
Thank you Nancy! It's been a little over a week now and it's getting a little easier every day. We pick up his ashes and paw print from the vet today and we're both going to get a tattoo of his paw print. Wherever we are in the world we'll be able to bring a little reminder of him with us. I hope you and your family are well!
So sorry for your loss. It’s like losing a family member. Hell, it is losing a family member.
Oh man, they're like our kids only they never talk back! Thank you for the condolences. We're going to get another beagle at some point but it won't be for a while.
Oh man, they're like our kids only they never talk back! Thank you for the condolences. We're going to get another beagle at some point but it won't be for a while.
I know how it feels to lose something so precious and loving to us which is never easy to overcome but am sorry for the loss.
Thanks!
I've got nothing like no words. I'm so sorry.
Thank you very much my friend.
My condolences on the passing of Amstell. Hopefully time will heal the emptiness in your heart after he left. God bless you Eric.
We appreciate it, Eliana!
I'm sorry for the loss of your fur baby.
Over the years, I've had to send 4 over the rainbow bridge. It breaks your heartm , but I wouldn't change it for the world.
Focus on all the great memories!!!
Hugs and scritches
This is our second beagle since we've been together and it never gets easier. They add so much comfort and joy to our lives it makes it worth dealing with this pain. Thank you!
I am sorry for your loss. It must be hard.
But from your post, I can tell that Amstel was lucky to have you, and you were lucky to have him.
Thanks! We were so very lucky he chose us!
Sorry for your loss mate @ericvancewalton.
I can easily see your emotions coming out of every word you have shared in this post. It shows how much love you have for this Creature of God. From out of no where, they come into our lives and become the part of our life. We start treating them as a part of our life. Amstel is no more with you but his memories will always live with you and your family. NO one could replace his place in your life.
Thank you! There will never be another one quite like him.
Yes no one can replace and no other puppy can fill the gap he have left in your life.
So true! Each of them are different in their own way.
Sorry for your loss. We also had dogs and cats too in the past. I know how bad it feels to lose them. The void we feel after they leave.
Amstel lived for 15 years, and he had a beautiful 14 years with you. It is visible on the photos/videos you shared that you loved him very much.
The void is the hardest part to deal with but, with time, it'll get a little easier. I can tell you're an animal lover so you know how hard it is, I'm sure. Thank you so much, man. I hope you're having a good year so far!
At first I thought you wanted to say Amsterdam 😊
I read and tears flow, what a pity. The pain from the loss of the closest is unbearable!
The first couple of days were VERY difficult but now we're trying to focus on the good memories.
Bitter sweet memories with each pet we have had each exceptional beautiful nature.
Never close the door, you never know when next you find the pitter-patter beside you again.
Yes, they all leave their own unique set of memories. We will definitely be getting another beagle at some point but we're going to dedicate the next few years to traveling. Once we're firmly planted again somewhere finding a new pup will definitely be high atop our list.
With planned travel plans best to wait, also give yourselves time to grieve.
Very sad, everyone has to go. Despite his heart problems, he survived for a long time. It is sad but must be accepted
He had a great life, that's for sure. We take great comfort in that. Thanks!
Hello dear friend @ericvancewalton I am so sorry for your loss.
Throughout my life I have lost several of our pets, and I know very well what it feels like when a member of the family leaves.
What beautiful memories, I appreciate that you shared with us
Thank you @jlufer! We appreciate the kind words. Each pet we own leaves its own unique imprint on our souls.
So Sorry to hear that its very hard to let go someone who is leaving with from past 5 years. Thought its an animal but some time animals become a part of our family. They become very important in our life. We can't imagine to live without them. Rest in peace little champ. You will live in our hearts forever. You are fight with disease is inspirational.
Thank you! He was a survivor. We got a little over three more years with him than the doctors estimated.
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