Dear A2*,
[to protect your identity of course]
I know that it has been over a decade since we used to chat on IMs and over the phone. I am reaching out because I wanted you to understand my perspective of D1, I know he has had a difficult life after we parted ways. You see, how I remember him is sacred to me. In some ways, D1 was my best friend when we were inside Mr. L1's class. He taught me rifts on the guitar and we laughed together. We laughed a lot. Quite honestly, I do not remember learning anything inside Pilot. Mostly I remember talking -- a lot. And I can still play that riff on the guitar. I remember hanging out with D1 in the back of the classroom. I remember like it was yesterday. He was genuine. He gave me the time of day when I felt so alone.
Only a year prior; I was being molested, constantly. My parents were unaware; yet, my behavior showed the evidence. And ultimately, I was sent to Pilot. I never had real friends before that moment. Maybe that is why I have held onto those memories for such a long time. Maybe that’s why I still text G1's when we have nothing left to say to each other. I was so grateful to have belonged; I was so grateful for their friendship. I was so grateful that in this school of misfits -- others finally saw me. D1 was one of those humans. The way he made me feel whole again; just by simply being my friend, made the world a better place back in 2003. To hear that he has passed, brought me to tears multiple times. I guess I feel silly for crying over someone I don't know anymore. Yet; that’s how much he impacted me. I wanted you to know that. I wanted you to know that in my mind, he was perfect and he allowed me to forget about all my problems for a small moment. He made school fun for the first time.
He will always be preserved in that state inside my mind. I was in a small class of seven and two have already passed away. I have purposefully kept up with a few over the years, making sure they are the first ones that I follow on social media. D1* never really posted much and I deleted my facebook eons ago. Only to reignite it -- and we never added each other. My sister and him are still friends however. Which makes me smile; I used to have him talk to her on the phone as I once chatted with you. I wish he knew how much he meant to me. I wish he knew how much he meant. I am envisioning a day where addiction is curable, where all his struggles will not have to affect those in the upcoming generations. My love is with your family; know that I am thinking about you all during this time.
All the best,
@laurabell
Wow that was powerful, I can't imagine what you've been through but having someone who was open to giving you that first step into acceptance and healing is the stuff miracles are made of, respect to him and to you!
Thank you! I love writing these somewhat memoir like posts. I feel as if my tagging is off; I am not sure if many on hive enjoy this type of artistic expression. After I get this all off my chest, I think I am going to change my content soon.