Plastic manufactured items now declared toxic.

in #canada3 years ago

https://www.rebelnews.com/plastics_industry_suing_trudeau_libs_over_toxic_designation

The federal government of Canada has declared “plastic manufactured items” to be toxic, specifically "Schedule 1 Toxic”. What else is Schedule One Toxic? Asbestos ( 6.), Lead (7.), Mercury and its compounds (😎, Benzine (147-150), Isocyanic acid (151) and the last, 163, added May 15, “Plastic manufactured items”.

The federal government of Canada has long been at pains to inform you in case you didn’t think of it that drinking benzine or Isocyanic acid is really bad for you, fatal in fact. Well, that’s enough for me, my fellow hosers of the Great White North. I trust my federal government so no more chugging benzine for me. And anything with cyanide in it is something I’ll be on the lookout for on the ingredients lists in my organic food store.

But now, ever since May 15, 2021 there’s something else which my trusted and beloved and liberal and environmental and climate-conscious and all-good-and-virtuous federal government informs me that I’ll die if I touch it, Schedule One Toxic Plastic Manufactured Items.

Let’s see now… all the plastic bags the grocery store packs my groceries in, Toxic! The plastic boxes I gather my grocery items in to take to the counter, Toxic! My Lord in Heaven! I’m looking around at all the fatal toxicity! The computer screen I’m looking at, TOXIC! The bottle of cleaner on the kitchen counter, the plastic storage box, the plastic bags of recycling, much of which is plastic food product containers which before May 15 packaged the meat and juices and water and jelly and peanut butter and etc etc I ate and drank never knowing it was TOXIC, the bug screen and the frame that holds it I was about to put over my windows never thinking it is TOXIC!!

Just a sec, folks. Bathroom break. OMG!! My toilet seat! It’s a plastic manufactured item! My shower curtain, It’s a plastic manufactured item too!! Toilet paper? No, that’s paper. Whew! What a relief! Oh oh! The shampoo bottle, the toothpaste tube, the containers for all my medicines…

What else is TOXIC? The toys your baby played with and chewed on, the little rain coat you put on your toddler, disposable plastic gloves in hospitals, plastic tubes, plastic syringes… MY GOD!!

It’s all going to have to be replaced with paper, my fellow People-kind. We’re going to have to clean off the entire Northern Boreal Forest and turn it into paper water bottles and paper surgical gloves and paper bags for groceries and paper shower curtains and paper toothpaste tubes … never mind all that Covid thing. Plastic manufactured products are deadlier than Covid. My beloved Prime Minister Ducky-Socks and his team at the Prime Minister’s Office deems it so and Reality must obey.

Why are plastic manufactured items toxic along with lead, asbestos, cyanide and benzine? One can only speculate but could it be that plastic is made with petroleum? For many years now the federal government, or the Prime Minister’s Office and the rows and rows of nodding dummies on both sides in the House of Commons, have declared war on Oil and Gas, basically the entire energy sector that heats our homes, fuels our cars and trucks and trains and oils the moving parts of windmills and so on. It all has to go.

But wait! Who is daring to stand in the way of this righteous environmental protection? Huge major corporations including Dow Chemical and Imperial Oil are banding together to sue the federal government to stop plastic manufactured items from being declared to be toxic.

I know, my fellow Canadian liberal, environmentally Green people-kind. The very word Corporation is toxic. I hope my federal government is on Guard For WE and ready to defend us all from toxic energy, plastics and corporations.

ALARM!! Our federal Minister of Natural Resources, Seamus O’Regan, former groomsman at Justin’s wedding, knows nothing about this lawsuit that was filed two weeks ago, nor has he heard “directly” about industry concerns for job losses and regulatory chaos. While daringly stuttering that “it’s really important to note how important plastics are” (what a guy!), he’ll have to ask his deputy minister about it, says Seamus, with a sly smirk at the questioner during last Friday’s video meeting of the Commons Natural Resources Committee, Alberta Conservative MP Dane Lloyd. Other Liberal MPs jumped in to save poor Seamus from reality.

It seems reality is a very toxic ping pong ball in Justin World and nobody’s got a paddle.

Aw Cripes! I gotta admit it. I’m not people-kind, I’m not Green. I’m sane. I know very well that the plastic manufactured items all around me are, in fact, in reality, in the sane world beyond the Ottawa nut house, not toxic.

I’ll have to visit the grocery store soon. Are they going to throw out all the plastic bags and plastic food containers? Or are they going to be a bit less Canadian and refuse to join the nut case parade and take a stand for sanity and reality?