Hello Everyone,
I hope you all are keeping well. The thing is, I wanted to watch Mortal Kombat (2021) well I watched 1 and 2, remember playing the initial version of the games. I also successfully ignored the later release of the games. But to my surprise, there was an animated version available in the Amazon prime. I like that too. So obviously I was excited and was looking forward to the Mortal Kombat. All thanks to the pandemic and the lockdown, it is still a dream. This wasn’t an OTT release. That means I will have to wait for another few months before it's available on the internet.
So, I did the next logical thing; I browsed the OTT platforms for Ninja action. And I am so glad that I found one. I don’t know how to describe this movie. It is a Japanese movie, dubbed in English and later translated in Hindi. Never in my life I imagined a Ninja, speaking in the Bhojpuri slang (Hey Bhagwann, Ye kaisi maut likhe diye ho hamar naseeb ma) [Translation - Oh God!!! Why have you written me such a horrible death?]
Anyway, the movie I am talking about is Alien vs Ninja. I don’t know who made it, when was it released, or why? I am a simple man; I see Alien vs Ninja; I click. Before I started with the movie, I asked my wife to join. She said something I couldn’t understand, looked irritated and stormed to the kitchen. I guess she was hungry.
Anyway, this is
Alien vs Ninja.
SPOILER: AH!! THIS IS PURE FUN. NOTHING CAN SPOIL IT…
So, the movie starts like any other Ninja movie. Ninjas showing off skills and fighting other Ninjas. We had a band of Ninja, who after finishing their mission was returning to the village. The night sky turned red as an asteroid crashed near their village. The Ninja chief assigned the team to investigate the crash site.
During their investigation, the team found a survivor, and some unknown creature killed the entire population. And soon after that, the same creature attacked the Ninja team. One by one, the team members go missing or killed. Until 3 members left. (I don’t remember the name of the characters so I will call them, The Alpha Ninja, The female Ninja, And the second alpha Ninja. I know the names make no sense and but that is the point you can remove the name or characters it still is an exceptional movie.)
So they made a last stand. This is the point when the movie becomes more entertaining. The weird action sequence and logic. I alien abduct the human being and use it as vessels/ incubators by slipping some slimy thing into them through the nose. (Make sense like the face-hugger) or so I thought.
Oh!! I want to talk about this another piece of the action. Where I think the alien discovers its sexuality??? I guess. Before you judge my mentality, this what happened. The alien was fighting the latex-clad female Ninja and suddenly stopped attacking her. The focus shifts to her breast area, and the fight changed. I mean, it felt like the alien was trying to feel her. And then they switched to hand-to-hand combat. And somehow this happened. I know this is a screenshot of the scene.
“Chee, ye kaisi wahhiyaat movies dekhte ho?” [Translation - Yuck!!! why do you watch such rubbish movies?] My wife walks in. (worst timing ever). When this stupid scene was playing out. Which can only be described as Alien trying to grope her? And to make matter worse, she kills the alien by stabbing in the Ass.
As the story progress, the second alpha Ninja gets captured by Alien. And when the Alpha and female Ninja arrives to rescue him, the second alpha and the fellow abducted Ninjas greeted them. They are being mind-controlled now. As they stood in a circle and chanted “go away”. Our power duo did the only thing they trained to do. Fight!!!
Mid-Fight they realize the mind-controlled Ninja are zombie Ninjas too. As they were hard to subdue. Finally, the alpha ninja noticed that there is some alien thing latched to these zombie's throats, and it is controlling their action. So they did the next logical thing, Jamming their hands down these zombie ninjas and plucking these alien babies out. Once getting the friend back, the Alpha went back to settle the score with the final Boss. And then the usual stuff happened. The Alien tried fighting the Ninja with claws, which escalated to a sword duel. Later, the alien evolved and grew wings like it was some kind of Pokemon. They flew into space, that’s when the Alpha pulls some dynamite and blew the alien to bits and pieces.
Don’t believe me, Just watch this thing and then judge me. As for the review. It is an awesome time pass movie. I can’t say anything about the acting or the dialogue as it was lost in translation. It felt like the cameraman was a Ninja too; it was so shaky (my head still hurts). The practical effects are goofy as they should be with such movies. The face-hugger looks like a squeaky toy.
As for the story, It has everything you need, Ninja, Alien, Ninja fighting Ninja, Ninja fighting Aliens, Alien making a move on the female ninja, ninja vs zombies, mind controls
@vincentnijman. I recommend you watch this. It will add no value at all but still, it is fun. The alien in this movie reminded me of a dino. ;-)
I am @moviekeeda.
See you all in my next post.
Till then keep your katana sharp.
This movie is available in the MX player. And the images were taken from there.
This made me laugh several times (especially the part where your wife walked in at the worst times possible as well as her commentary ). This does indeed sound like fun!
Now I really have no choice but to seek this out!
It is a fun movie bro.
I think it has to be one of those it is so bad it's good. :D
I wish I could help you with the link. In India, it's available in MXPlayer and that too in Hindi.
Tried to watch it yesterday night but I could not find a version with English SUBS so I gave up eventually. I am about to watch XTRO 3 (later tonight) so I can start working on a review of the 3 XTRO movies, as promised in my latest post.
Catch you later (wolfy) alligator!🐊
I am excited for XTRO. Bro!!! This weekend is the XTRO marathon for me.
Cheers...
Hahaha! I will probably have written my review before that. It´s up to you whether you wanna read it or not. In all honesty, I dont think it will spoil much haha!
You had me at...
That is classic! In all honesty, I have no intention of watching this piece of shit (no offense to you or the filmmakers)... but I have ZERO regrets about reading your review and keeping an eye out for future posts about films I will avoid like the plague. Cheers! ;)
See ya soon.
Yep your wife sounds exactly like me, storming off back to my computer (if J actually gets the tv, sometimes he does, sometimes one of the kids is using it so he goes to his computer and puts the headphones on) and just happening to pass by at the worst possible moments and him trying to convince me that it's not porn really XD
This movie looks really bloody awful, J would probably love it XD
Hahaha, The funny part was I didn't even try explaining.
I simply surrendered. Hahaha...
Also, I left out the part when the female Ninja before getting harrassed by the alien said "Abb aayega mazaa..." [Translation - Now the fun begins].
The movie was absolute garbage.
I am not sure but would love to know what J thinks of this movie. Ummm... on second thought please don't put him through. XD
If he enjoys stuff like that he will usually try to tell me it's so terrible it's awesome and I'm always like no XD
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