"Nobody told me there would be no wifi" admitted @digitaltruthseeker69 while he was trying to post about his "Day 1 Against The Russians" in the middle of an artillery battle.
@digiatltruthseeker or real name Gary Moore touched down in Moldova last week and from there he has managed to make his way to the Dombass region of the Ukraine where the Russians are attacking at the moment.
"I had no content left to write about."
"I had taken every photo of every shadow, animal, meal, monster, rockstar, drugwar and plant and I just needed something different." added the 20 year old.
"I am also a level 81 on Call of Duty so I wanted to experience a bit of combat for quality content in my posts on Hive then I said fuck it, let's go."
"Plus I am gonna do a bit of pillaging from the Russians so I have a few Russian silver coins to send to @trumpman and post about my travels on Pimapple."
Gary who is 5ft 4 and 7 stone (49kg) has managed so far to avoid any bombs or bullets coming his way due to his slightly weedy feathery demeanour.
"Кажется, пули просто не попали в него",claimed a drunk Russian soldier.
"Мы сделали ему несколько предупреждений, но он, похоже, не хочет уходить»" he mumbled.
"Он продолжает фотографировать нас для какой-то штуки Пимэппл"
"Мы даже угрожали ему изнасилованием, но он подошел еще ближе"
he added.
"I have scheduled around 10 posts so far once I get this wifi sorted," claimed Gary in a Flak Jacket he purchased from Alibaba.
"Each post is worth around 300 Hive so all I have to do is survive a couple of weeks and I'm on my way to Dolphinhood."
"War posts are all the rage in trending page on Hive these days and what better way to do it that being in the thick of the action."
"Some Hive community members I know are pretending to be still here and just posts a photo of himself looking sad in a room but he's actually got out and is in France somewhere sunning himself."
"Kinda like the wedding crashers but war crashers"
"So my ticket to Moldova worked out at €450."
"I walked over the border for free and some American soldiers drove me to Dombass in their Hummer. They are on a stag with their army friends and took me right into the thick of the action "
"I had the makings of 5 posts on that trip alone."
"The going rate for a Ukrainian post is around 300 Hive"
"So I'm gonna break even after just 2 posts."
"Are your parents not worried?" asked our reporter.
"I told mammy I was going to Spain for a couple of weeks with the lads and she fell for it." claimed Gary while a ballistic missile flies overhead.
"I'm surprised she fell for it as I don't have any friends."
"The Hive Community love a bit of drama so hopefully the upper crusts will start noticing me when I publish a post following the Russians invading a city."
"The Russians keep telling me to "отвали" whatever that is."
"Hold on my phone is ringing."
"Hi mam"
"Yes it's lovely here, the weather is nice"
"30 degrees"
Hold on a minute a waiter is shouting at me.
Убирайся.
"Graciassssss"
Убирайся.
"Yes mam, I'm having lunch. That's the waiter. Un cerveza por favor."
Убирайся.
Gracias
[BOOM BOOM]
" The disco music is very loud where you are Gary."
"Enjoy your cerveza."
"Bring me back a stick of rock!"
lol. Gary's a little too greedy for his own liking
Poor poor Gary!😀
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Best of the parody posts yet, fan-fuckin-tastic.
Poor auld Gary and his Gary 5ft 4, 7 stone frame 🤣
Did you know noone called their child Gary in Ireland in the last 2 years. So in around 80 years there will be no more Garys. True story.
trex --> dodo --> white rhino --> Garys
🤣🤣
Sounds like a @trumpman alt!
you mean my favorite shitposter is not fat and blonde ? I'm very disappointed :P
That is how he identifies.
I hear the man is a Greek adonis.😀
It depends on who he is standing next to.
😂
You crack me up, buddy!
the above part really made me laugh :^)
Thanks Vincent. Gary is difficult to kill but they got him in the end.
"they have some really crazy fireworks here mom" :))))