In life many times we “get used to” coping with the things that we have chosen to do, to sustain ourselves, either because we have believed that it is the best for us, or because we agree that what someone outside suggested to us was good, without analyzing whether that it was what would truly make us happy. And that normally happens when we do not have the firm conviction of what our desires really are, it could be for fear of not feeling accepted by our tastes, something that often happens within families. Where perhaps the parents are professionals of some university career, or there is some trade that is family tradition and it turns out that you want to be the opposite of what your parents or family tradition have been
So, it turns out that all those things can influence you in such a way that you hardly realize it and you go through life with regret disguised as a smile or a "yes but I'm fine" and you forget that desire hidden inside you, that you want going outside but being run over by all those archetypes, and you think you don't want to disappoint your parents, your family or friends, because it turns out that you want to be a musician, actor, dancer, writer, barber, ect.
But when, you realize you find yourself studying medicine or engineering at a university, which was the last thing you wanted to do and that's how your life goes and in less than a rooster crows, you find yourself in a job where you don't feel well, that it bores you and also feeling nostalgic for what you could have done and did not do, because you feel exhausted, because you let many years go by and you feel that you are too old to start again. It does not feel pleasant, because there will always be a small feeling of sadness and helplessness within you, and sometimes you feel angry and you do not even know who, even if it is with yourself. But it is hard for you to accept it, and you discharge that rage and helplessness, on others who have nothing to do with your wrong decisions, driven by fear.
But the good news is, that you and only you can make a change in your life, and the not so good but very important news is that nobody can do it for you, only you can do it, only you can draw strength and will to live your dreams. While you are alive, there is still time, do not forget. Live your dreams! go where you have always wanted to go, do what you have always wanted to do, discover yourself, give that gift to your soul that is yourself. Be happy!
Life is not a movie in your DVD player. It's doesn't come with a forward or rewind button.
But it's more of a story. Where you are the lead character and the writer. And it's is true that we may get depressed which things don't go our way or we may get depressed in general.
But like you said it's you and you alone can change the direction, on which way you wanna take it.
Keep writing.
:-)
That's right friend, we are ourselves what we must have the control of our life. We cannot leave our happiness and our inner peace in external hands. Thanks for reading my words.