Loneliness Now Wouldn't That Be A Privilege

in #ctplast year (edited)

Treatment-Resistant-Paranoid-schizophrenia.png
Just thought i would write this because having mental illness is a lonely road for a majority of sufferers, people can lose their whole lives including those around them.

When someone suffers from mental health issues it can be a difficult time for people they know and unfortunately a lot of them will walk away.

Before i became ill i had a successful business that was growing daily, i was a leader in a local church group, i was a full time dad and had a pretty busy social life.
Once i got ill it all changed, i lost my business, was pushed out by the church and lost basically all my so called friends.
Some of these people show their faces every now and then but i really can't be asked.

If you can't deal with me when i am bad then you certainly don't deserve me when i am good.

To be honest this was probably more harder on my wife than me.

Not only had people walked away from her too but she also had to deal with me and our children.

People will never understand the bond we have now.

See we both lived on the streets of London, so this was just another thing we had to face.

For my wife she says she felt so lonely when i was at my worst points because she had lost her only real friend at the time.

For me it was different, for starters when i was having episodes i would only be lucid for a while at a time and i was always arguing with the voices in my head.

Sometimes these voices would take forms and would follow me around.

They would even touch me and grab me at times. so they would be also tactile.

Being treatment resistant just means i am never symptom free and never alone.

This can make concentrating on even the simplest task a challenge when you have constant chatter and noise going on inside your head.

Yeah it is not like listening to your favorite tune.

I am learning to adapt and once i got this there will be no stopping me.

To overcome is the best message you can send to others.

It is what it is nothing will change what has happened.

If your facing tough times just know they do not last forever and you have the strength to overcome anything if you really put yourself into it, heck i even have a laugh about some of the episodes i have had now.

You are awesome.png

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