It seems like a huge cosmic joke that this year of rest for us has become anything but. We're productive people - we like to create and get stuff done, and if we don't have anything to do, we'll sure as hell invent a project.
We wanted to stop that this year.
We wanted to rest.
We vowed not to do anymore DIY or start any project that involved screws, plyboard, paint or spades. Let's rest, we said. Let's spend time on a Greek island. Let's go walking in forests in Eastern Europe and deserts in Africa.
Then COVID.
That's okay, we said. Let's travel around Australia and sit on beaches. Swim with whale sharks. Go down deserted desert tracks. Lay in hammocks. Free dive. Surf. Fish.
Then Australia closed all it's borders, and we're in lockdown 2.0.
And so we created a project list, because what are we meant to do? There's only so much meditating and yoga one can do, and so much walking. And we're creative people, that likes a project and getting stuff done, and our minds whirr at a hundred miles an hour most days.
We're lucky we're financially stable, have land to play on, and have the emotional resources to cope as best we can. There are many, many people who are not coping well at all with this. The government just added more mental health support - twenty free consultations rather than ten - but that's presuming people know about it, can get to the doctor, find a therapist they like, and actually get a booking. I worry a lot for people. 2020 is a little fucked up. It's too fast and too much - businesses are going to suffer and so are people's minds.
I feel grateful I have what I have. But still - what are we going to do to distract ourselves? Because distractions are necessary - the brain needs relief from all of this.
And thus, Day One of lockdown had us writing this list on the blackboard in the kitchen. It looks a little like this:
| HOME | GARDEN | LANDROVER | RIVERFLOWS FUN |
|---|---|---|---|
| Install fan in bathroom | Mudflaps | Make rosemary oil in the still | |
| Repaint ceiling | Finish making bathtub worm farm | Tidy up rooftop tent | Learn to make soap |
| Sand and repaint kitchen worktop | Order mulch - front garden bed | Make 'mechanics handcream' | |
| Buy wood for eaves (paint/ply) | Plant more olives - front | Door cards | Make more deodorant - sell? |
| New benchtop - bathroom | Rip up fence - bottom paddock | Plant seeds ready for spring | |
| Create stone floor in gazebo area | Bird photography | ||
| Plant fruit trees | |||
| Plant gums | |||
| Build greenhouse | |||
The New Worm Farm/Potting Up Table - Just Add Worms
And that's just Day One. You can see what we achieved on day one already - that's the bit crossed out. This took us most of the day - I had to go into town for an osteo appointment (I need to add core work to that list). Jamie argued he didn't have a 'fun' list, and I argued that the Landrover WAS his fun list. He could have a fun list if he had anything to put on it, but he was busy adding stuff to all the other lists.
By 2 pm I was feeling a little stressed. I'd put all this pressure on myself to get stuff done. I mean, we were inventing stuff to get down to imaginary, arbitary timelines. I was already exhausted. I made my excuses, and went inside for some meditation.
Was this living? These endless to do lists?
It's the life we have now. I can do the internal work, which I'm doing, but I need to temper that with 'busy' work for my hands and body. It does feel worth it - getting our home in order ready for next year, and the year after should we take off work and travel again, all the goddesses willing. It does help to be productive - we're not 'sit around and watch Netflix' people.
But I think I need to add 'lying on the couch in the sunshine' and 'getting lost in the woods' and 'reading a book' to that list, don't you?
With Love,
https://gateway.ipfs.io/ipfs/QmcGSZxvsXD8YbSCNAo6KWc4a9RjXyRCjWupZdPXJapkXk
Are you on HIVE yet? Earn for writing! Referral link for FREE account here
PeakD - The Best Way to Experience The Hive Blockchain
Join The Best Natural Health Community on Hive
Something about this week has been incredibly hard for my mental state. We still have a decent amount of mobility here, but it is still quite easy to feel trapped. I keep kicking myself for not having taken a vacation last year. I think the cumulative effect of not taking real time off for over 2 years now is kicking in, regardless of the rest of the 2020 madness. But, I have an unexpected extra day with the my little one today and a possible girl date with my lovely friends this weekend, so trying to shake off the darkness yet again and find the light. If all else fails my 10am client this morning is a psychiatrist, so we can always get a mutually beneficial session in.🤣
Definitely add some book reading to the list. I need to add that to mine, as well.
Oh honey, I know you feel me. It's hard to complain really, as there's lots to be grateful for, but it's exhausting, this year. I'm picking myself we didn't go last year too. We were going to, but Jamie wanted to finish off a work project that would look good on his CV. The irony is neither of us REALLY care two hoots about that. Dammit!
But as you and I both know, there's good bits to be grateful for. Scream and carry on with a smile. We will get through it. It'll just mean the next well deserved holiday will be.. well, very well deserved.
Love you xx
ps I love the vision of you being on the psychiatrists couch while they train.
Yes, I think that's just it. Utterly exhausting. Well I'm back on the uptick again after time with the little one yesterday. We built tunnels that went under the Earth so she could visit places all over the world. She particularly enjoyed the South Pole. Though we did have to mock amputate after some nasty frostbite. I wouldn't be surprised if she pursues a career in the medical field as she seems to enjoy learning about all kinds of ailments. 🤣 Though it was also a good time to learn about compassion as I told her there are all kinds of people who have to live without hands or feet and still carry on full lives.
And to add to your image, my client/friend/therapist is such a doll he can't workout and listen to me at the same time. So often I try to keep him going, but he waves me off and makes me keep on talking as he stands and listens. We have devised some homework for me to explore what little local getaways can be had here shortly before I implode. So that, too, is a bit of a relief to have some course of action and "prescription". 💚
Lol, fucked up is an understatement, but I truly am grateful to have your worry lightening my own. :)
So...Are you going back to work next year? If I recall rightly you were taking this year off. Just curious what your plans may be and how covid may have changed them.
Have a good weekend also Riv. Get into that couch-time!
Ha right,its always good to know someone else is just as worried/stressed/depressed as you.. makes us feel better.
Yeah, back at work. Can't afford not to be.
You have a good weekend too. I think we might do a wild camp in our garden.
Wild garden camps sound like a good idea! Enjoy.
Well two down and lots to go... As long as you don't get stressed at least you can feel better that you've written it down. I always do... Making deodorant? Interesting.
Oh it's pretty easy! I've made heaps and given away to friends, but I need to make some more. Both hubby and I use it - it's much better than the store bought.
yeah, lists = less stress for sure. It's fun getting stuff done.
I use the stones/crystals/mineral deposits (not sure of the correct term haha) they sell by kilo in the market here. Quite cheap and effective :)
I actually make lists and then lose them / forget about them. We might be similar people in many ways, I'm not a list-maker ;>)
Ha, i never was!!!! Not until about four years ago. Now I love them. They reduce psychological stress - all that ruminating on 'things i have to do'. Once I write them down, THEN I lose the list. Except now we have a blackboard on a kitchen wall, and some chalk, so if my head is busy with 'stuff to do' I can just go write it down and rely on the blackboard to recall it!
Getting "lost in the woods and reading a book" sounds like a fine idea :>)
Indeed!!! I could probably get lost WHILE reading a book, if I'm not paying attention.. :P Hope you are well!
😎 Hope you are well too @riverflows ...
Yes, must add all of those, but especially a book!
Your to-do list looks a lot like our daily life here on the farm. We look at it as living a life...
You don't need excuses if your deadlines are entirely arbitrary and imaginary :) Just stop when you've had enough, it's okay really ;D
Other option is have that as your overall todo list and pick one thing out of the fun list and one thing out of every other list to get done every day (or if one of the not-fun things is a really big thing, just that one thing) and when they're done you're done, go read all the books or whatever other things you consider restful :D
I love that your worm farm is multipurpose XD That area looks good :)
I think we forgot what Summer Holidays were ( even though I know it's Winter there ).
This list actually makes me a little anxious although I totally get it.
I just wish that you have got your freedom again before you make it to the end of the list.
Big hug! ✨