Greetings loyal followers,
My executive assistant Vera, whose mere presence is the most intoxicating thing in any galaxy, has informed me that there are new wars raging on your primitive planet. She explained that this inhabitant of your planet reached out to invite beg me to partake in something called "Drug Wars".
You would be wise to join me. I already have the most loyal and frequent customer.
He offered me some Funyons and asked me how good I am at war. This made me laugh! Although every time I am around him, I tend to laugh quite a bit. I reminded him that I'm good at war. I've had a lot of wars of my own. I'm really good at war. I love war in a certain way. But only when we win. In fact, nobody’s ever been more successful than me when it comes to war (or anything else).
Just recently, the weak, crazy, crooked, goofy Rebels attempted to defeat the Empire. Those morons sent 30 small, one-man fighters, against the hugest, strongest, most beautiful, most powerful battle station ever. We destroyed 90% of those fighters. I even personally destroyed a couple of their strongest fighters myself. They went down fast and hard, crying all the way. They did manage to get lucky (or CHEAT!) and destroy a multi-trillion credit structure, but 90% of the fighters! That is a Big Victory! Those numbers were better than other sitting Sith Lord's.
Look at that. Only FOUR ships left. And one of them joined late.
The Death Star did explode about 2 seconds later but still... BIG VICTORY!"
After this Big Victory, I managed to find and attack the scumbag rebel's base on some frozen shavit-hole planet called Hoth. If you think your system has been cold, you should visit that rock. They could use a little bit of that good old Spherical Warming the rebels are always crying about. Once again, under my incredible leadership, The Empire managed to destroy one shield generator, shoot a few bundled up scumbags and my buckets heads even hit that piece of garbage Millennium Falcon with some small arms fire. It is true that one single ion cannon allowed several large transports to escape along with the entire rebel leadership team, but it was that tasty shield generator that we were really after. Another Big Victory!
This is what we were really after. Who cares if nearly all of their troops and all of their leaders including that pathetic whiny farm boy got away? And now I have an ice planet. Suck it!
After these two huge successes, the likes of which no beings have ever seen before, if I were to rank myself in the pantheon of great Sith Lords, I would give myself an A+. I can't wait for the ultimate victory when we trick the loser rebels into attacking our new Death Star that is protected by one shield generator on that moon inhabited by those delicious Ewoks. We are going to crush them!
So as I was saying, I'm really good at war. As a result, it is only fitting that I use these talents to dominate Drug Wars on the Steem Blockchain (which happens to be the only worthwhile technical advancement ever devised on your pathetic primitive planet).
Join the 501st Legion!
In addition to how impressive, most impressive, this Blockchain is, it also features some of the only members of your species who are worth saving from enslavement or death after the Empire arrives at your planet. If you feel you are one of these worthy inhabitant, then I strongly suggest you join the 501st Legion which is forming to rule the Drug Wars Galaxy.
Do you like Clowns?
What have you been smoking? Don't you know drugs are a BAD THING. Our governments tell us so. They are the only ones who are supposed to mess up our minds.
I've never taken drugs of any kind, never had a glass of alcohol. Never had a cigarette, never had a cup of coffee.
No wonder you're cranky. You need to chill mate. Mind you, it seems you have been seen enjoying something on the dark side.
haha.. I see where this is going.. see you there dark lord.. ;-)
https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Drug_dealer
some canon starwars drug factoids for your storyline
Interesting. I have heard of people on your planet eating 'Gummy Bears" laced with "THC". I wonder if eating these Ewoks would have the same effect.
You can also do a great soup... I am omnivorous...
@lordvader (6aR,10aR)-delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol, (−)-trans-Δ⁹-tetrahydrocannabinol nCan be synthesized in any one of your science labs onbaoprd any of the chemical production bays in the industrial oiler/maintanance vessels in the fleet
Im sure you can also place this chemical in your Mask, along with nicotine, in fact I had a plan for an electric vape mask in your exact style, studded with shiney carbon crystals
I hear Lando has a head start on his smuggling campaign. He'd probably give you a good deal.
I plan to alter that bargain.
He was pretty high up in the sky in cloud city
hey hey, ALLEGEDLY, and that was just lando POSING as a drug dealer!
I am already part of the 501st elstre base here in the UK with my better half as professional costumers. also part of the Rebel Legion and I am with Reel Icons as Agent 47 and a Borg Drone.
We do alot of charity work in hospitals, schools and such, along side appearing as performers at various comic cons.
but I will have to give this game a whirl and see what t is all about.
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I have heard of your planet's 501st Legion. It is impressive, most impressive.
Apologies in advance for the spam. This is an automated comment to reduce the voting power of @fulltimegeek, a flat earth retard who is flagging reputable users like @themadcurator, @themarkymark and myself because he's a whiny little bitch who is throwing a hissy fit.
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Welcome to the drugwars boss... how’s luke?
You are a little early to the party as they are still fumigating the 🐛 🐜 bugs... but it’s still fun and addicting for some reason... maybe in your wisdom you can figure what’s the secret sauce making this game pop??
Posted using Partiko iOS
I eat bugs for lunch.
I heard there was some Skywalker OG that makes you really feel the force
I heard there was some
Skywalker OG that makes you
Really feel the force
- theabsolute
I'm a bot. I detect haiku.
Skywalker is dead.
ps... LordVader they are waiting for you on the Discord channel for drugwars
Posted using Partiko iOS
I am in the process of choosing members for my elite 501st Legion there.
@lordvader it’s an honor and privilege to be asked and considered for your legion.
I was already a member of Down With Clowns posse, so I would be a traitor.
If possible to be a member of both that would be awesome or we can form and allegiance?
Nevertheless, awesome to see you back!
Posted using Partiko iOS
I have worked with independent contractors before.
Then Yes @lordvader It would be an Honor and a Privilege to be a contractor for the Empire. I am krypt0 klown on Discord.
Posted using Partiko iOS
I think I found something you misplaced in one of those wars.
https://steemit.com/science/@gavvet/oh-no-there-really-is-a-death-star
My moronic bucket heads have been looking for this thing since I somehow forgot where I parked on NYE 2016.
Welcome back.
Our galaxies operate on a non-linear timeline. I never left.
https://steemit.com/funny/@lordvader/it-is-time-for-me-to-teach-you-all-a-lesson-about-non-linear-timelines
I see what you did there,...
truth
Posted using Partiko iOS
What is the best way to stop these rebels once and for all? Build a shield across the Empire and make them pay for it?
Wiping them off the face of the galaxy is the only answer. The same fools who cry about Spherical Warming have suggested a technologically advanced shield. Idiots! A ferrocrete barrier is what is required. Sure they can simply fly over it, but they will not think of that. They are just scumbag rebels. The situation is so dire that I would consider it an emergency that needs to be dealt with immediately.
We have suffered greatly by your absence, Lord Vader. It even looks like someone is trying to turn our planet into Hoth!
Everyone suffers every second they are not in direct contact with me. But perhaps you were made to suffer. It is you lot in life.
Lordy... do you speak Portuguese too? I know of a youtube video... that is one of the best for me... "cadê meu head fone, nao é fone the ouvido". You need to know portuguese, to understand it..
Congratulations @lordvader! You received a personal award!
Thank you for taking part in the early access of Drugwars.
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!bookkeeping drugwars
Hi @lordvader!
drugwars
Received:
Spent:
Total:
First transfer was before 32.59 days.
Your ROI per day is 1.08 % and you are earning approx. 3.55 STEEM per day.
Break even in approx. 59.7 days.
ROI when taking only the last 5 days into account
Your ROI per day is 0.55 % and you are earning approx. 1.79 STEEM per day.
Break even in approx. 118.6 days.
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!sneeze
Oh Lord. Sorry. I hope you have a decent air filters out there, otherwise you might got this nasty virus spreading all around.
You have been infected by the King of Disease!
Will you quarantine yourself?
Or will you spread the plague?
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@lordvader i will love to join your elite legion...
Interesting
Gracias por tu voto 😊
Lord Vadar? Captain of the Death Star? Do you need a tray?
Cool handle :) Thanks for dropping by
Dear @lordvader, thank you for voting my introductory post. It really means a lot to me.
You have a surreal way of description, so much that I was confused whether it was a game or some real life occurrances.
I'm a newbie who doesn't understand how the gaming system works on Hive and an enlightenment would be well appreciated.
Thank you so much in anticipation.