If you reflect on your life, you can probably remember many times when you said something you thought was rather innocent, and someone got very offended. Perhaps in the context there was a connotation which you were unaware of, or you just made a slip-up.
Likewise, you might remember many times you were offended, reacting quickly, assuming that you knew exactly what was intended.
Many times we react without knowing what a person meant - as we can’t know what is going on in someone’s mind before asking. It’s very likely that their comment was more innocent than we realized, as people are often involved in their own worlds, and can’t know ahead of time how their comment might be interpreted.
In fact, even when someone sets out to offend us, in a way they have a positive intention. To seek to offend you is to affirm that your opinion and your mind is worthy of attention.
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