We live in an impermanent world where nothing can be taken for granted. As adults, we are meant to achieve some kind of morality when, in fact, nothing could be more difficult because the path to an ethical way of life is a murky one. I wish there was a way to thrive as an individual, but it is precisely because I am an individual that I can't be happy. Struggling to cope with loneliness and to accept the fact that as a consumer, I am contributing to climate change, I must fight every single day just to keep a hold on my sanity. And fight I do.
During Covid, I have been confronted with the darkest side of human nature as witnessed so far in my life, and quite ironically, this has renewed my will to keep forging my path. It has provided me with a vantage point from which I can observe my own mortality, in contrast with that of multiple other human beings, coming to terms with the power of disease. Historically, we have done a pretty good job at keeping Pandemics at bay. Viruses were lurking in the shadows, waiting for a chance to strike.
What should have been a healthy collective experience, in many ways, turned out to make things worse because people were not ready to accept that our way of life was unsustainable. It became one more thing to sweep under the rugs. But for many other, more sensitive people, it really was an opportunity to take a good look in the mirror.
Many of the world's inequalities stem from the fact that while some can afford air travel, most cannot. Is it fair to spread disease to people who cannot spread it in your country in return?
Call me woke, call me a social justice warrior or any other pretty name, I have a hard time shaking the feeling that Covid, in many ways an equalizer, has also played a part in deepening the divide between the rich and the poor.
I also dream of travelling, this is a contradiction that causes me grief. Even knowing the harm tourism causes our planet, I still want to collect these amazing experiences and live a life of luxury. Our dreams, the ones we cherish the most, are not always aimed at the collective good, so where does that leave us?
There are two ways to look at it, on the one hand, I could try to shift my perception to consider myself as a part of the collective. In this case, other people's pain become my own, and I let empathy take over if at all possible. On the other, I could try to embrace the way I was raised and allow myself to feel numb. I could have a ton of justifications on why I can't afford to take a stand on any given issue.
But there is a third option. I could go the Steven Jenkinson way and consider myself to be a shaman whose life purpose is to leave the Earth a better place for the children. A hybrid philosophy where individualism is not cast aside, but where your ethics are understood as a path to enlightenment. What I like about this option is that it necessitates an acknowledgement of the infinite depth of my own ignorance. It's the idea that it takes hard work and self scrutiny to become a decent elder to the children who feel our anxiety and to whom my contradictions are painfully obvious.
Coming to terms with mortality can mean radically different things to different people. Furthermore, it often comes back to the way you are living now and the choices you are making. Are you going to be able to look back and stand by who you were?
For me, dying is not something that will happen in the future, it is something that is happening right now, and Covid is so insignificant when it comes to the tension between my self and it's ephemeral nature.
What do you think? Are you afraid of dying? Do you think I'm just a rambler? Let me know and together, we can create a community where philosophy talks about death... All the time!
LOL!
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This pandemic has certainly made us assess both our mortality and our morality, that's for sure. I think part of the problem is greed and the big corporations not exactly being moral heroes for us all to follow. I mean, who do we look to - not the guru anymore, but the CEOs, the Elon Musks. And Musk certainly doesn't give a fuck what he's leaving for the children - he's destroying the night skies with narry a thought.
It's lovely you are even considering how your choices will impact the world - shows what kind of person you are. I'm sure you can find ways to travel in a low impact way as possible - perhaps even doing good in the places you travel to. I know you make the world a better place just by being the kind person you are, so don't feel the whole world on your shoulders, just do the best you can.
xx
It's true, I often feel like I have Stockholm syndrome, falling in love for the CEOs that kidnapped our planet and us along with it. But I must resist the urge of falling for their narcissistic ego. Indeed, the likes of Elon Musk.
Your words are like a balm on my wounds. I love that you can see kindness in me, and so do I in you, dearest friend! You can wake up every morning, proud of who you are and what you've achieved. I for one, consider myself very lucky to have you!
xx
I think this pandemic sure made it's impact on the world, and there are many many things it makes us stop and think about. Like what is most important to u.. It's funny how we don't really appreciate certain thing until those are taken away. Half of my family (wife and son) are still in Philippines waiting for a visa to come to USA. pre-covid this was not even a big deal.
If you think about humans, the way we lived 200 years ago, you get a sense of how many things we are taking for granted. No matter how much we try to remind ourselves that a mere email is a luxury, there's nothing like having that taken away to realize that you are completely spoiled. It is not a realization that I wish on anyone, people died before Covid never to have this point driven home. However, there is a cost to putting so much power in the hands of so many people.
Warm regards to your family, I hope they are well!