prelude
(image from google search)
There was a TV show many years ago.
An American family went to live in a traditional African village.
The family entered into it with naive superiority. The parents speaking of how they would enlighten the natives with their 1st wod skills.
Their children pining that they would be away from their modern day toys, their WiFi, Friends and Western conveniences.
The African tribe opened their village to the family.
The Western "skills" have very little place in a subsistence existence.
Being a manager, sitting behind your desk filling in forms, doesn't get the meat on the table or the bread in the oven.
Everybody in the tribe has their role to play. The children bring water, feed animals, look after young children, and so on.
There was no lounging around in your bedroom. Idle with nothing.
This brings me to the most important lesson I learned from that show.
The young American boy had a number of tantrums. He would, huff and puff, and make a scene. His father would pine, beg and promise.
All to no avail.
The Elder of the village took the boys hand. Then they walked down the road.
Just walk. Hand in hand, along the road.
Then they returned. The boy was calm and happy.
He just needed time. He just needed Love and Attention.
The language barrier wasn't important.
The communication was time and space.
it is a simple method
I use this method when my son is having a bad day.
When he is out of alignment. I take him for a walk - hand in hand.
Sometimes, he does alot of talking. Other times, I do alot of talking.
But it is about walking together, hand in hand, to help reset the tone.
To bring things into balance.
It doesn't happen often.
Most times, he buzzes along with what he likes to do.
This recent time, he was unusually grumpy and snappy.
So, we went for a walk.
He told me he didn't want to walk his friend home after school. It bothered him. He felt pressured to do so, and was finding it hard to say, "No.".
The next day, his friend came to get him.
I said, "Sorry Mate, but he has to come with me today. Maybe another day."
My son was happy. I had stood up for him.
Soon, he will have to learn to deal with situations himself.
But, for now, I'm happy to stand by his side. To make him whole.
He called me a "Brilliant actor". It warms my heart to know I am there for him.
I just want him to know that I am there for him
I want him to know that we can walk and talk.
Anytime.
About anything.
