My Life In The Shadow Of Love

in #fiction4 years ago

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This morning the weather was very cloudy. Very well suited to my mood today.
"Lira, hurry down the others, are you waiting below?" a voice that was heard called me and none other than my mother who called me to teach me breakfast together which has become a habit of my family
"Yes ma'am" I answered simply and immediately I rushed to the dining room.

After breakfast I immediately went to school. Arriving at school I saw a figure of a man who might only be a shadow in my life. I love him very much but he is not mine and may never be mine.

"Isn't lira okay? Your face really looks like a faucet, ”asked Vira, who surprised me in my thoughts.
"Eh, you're just going to hang up, I'm fine, I'm just not getting enough sleep," I replied
"Oh guess you're sick again"

The doorbell rang and I immediately entered my class and maybe I would see it again and feel the sadness again.

"O God strengthen this heart" I muttered to myself. I tried to be strong, I tried to forget, but why does the feeling get stronger the more I forget it, the more I love it. But I don't want to be selfish, I don't want to hurt others for my own happiness, even though it hurts

But the illness that had fused with my body was getting worse and worse and might take me away forever. God only one that I want. I want to feel happiness with him with the person I really love without hurting my best friend who also loves him. But there is still a chance for me

The bell from school woke me up in my daydream. Immediately I packed my things and I headed home. I ignored him, pretending I didn't see him. I do not want to approach him and it can only make my friend's heart ache

After arriving at home suddenly my body went limp as if my body did not have my eye bones getting darker and I fell and I was unconscious. A few moments later I opened my eyes I felt unfamiliar with this place, like a little footsteps that seemed to approach me. And it turns out it was the doctor who had been handling me.

End-stage brain cancer. That is the disease that has been in my head. And the pain that is very unlikely if I will survive I can no longer be able to feel this pain. I guess it seems like my age will be soon. I took a piece of paper and a ballpoint pen on the table beside my bed. I just want to write a letter to my best friend

This is the contents of the letter that I will give to my best friend
"Hi Vir, how are you?" Yes, maybe when you read this letter, I can't talk directly with you anymore, I can't walk to see you, and I can't open my eyes to see you. Oh yes, sorry, yes, vir, all this time I've been hiding something from you, if I actually also like it, sorry sorry, Vir, I also never told you about my illness. I just don't want to see my friend sad to see me feel the pain I feel. You also don't need to be sad even though I'm not next to you, but I'm always in your heart, why? You are always my best friend forever "after writing that letter I left it to the indro doctor for my best friend, when I was gone

I feel tired I want to rest and maybe that's the end of all this, this is my rest for ever. Even though my life is only in the shadow of love, I am happy because I have the best friend who has accompanied me all my life.

The end