Not too long ago I lost a very good friend I'd known for over twenty five years; his loss has hit me hard. He had mental health issues and always managed to control it, mitigating its affect on his life and the lives of his family and friends but not too long ago he took his own life in a rather brutal manner.
I've spoken with his wife every day since; she's distraught and has gone through the stages of grief over the time however has had to keep things moving, her life I mean. I've tried to help in some small way by offering some emotional support and our friends group rallied providing some financial assistance also; she has been very grateful.
Today we spoke about financial matters and I was pleased to hear she has managed to get things into order and that some of the plans they put in place together are starting to work out; I mean insurances.
It wasn't that long ago when insurance companies wouldn't pay life insurance on death by suicide however that's changed and most do now. Of course there's hoops to jump through, which is what my friend's wife has been doing, however it's all starting to work out now and things won't be as tight as they have been since her husband's death.
I chose the Hesiod quote above as it reminded me of something my mate used to say. He used to say, fucken squirrel that shit, referring to saving and financial planning for their future, putting something away for the winter so to speak, like a squirrel.
I know, it's not as eloquent as Hesiod's version but if you saw that dude talking investments and the passion with which he said it you'd probably laugh - I miss that fucking dude so much but even now thinkin about it makes me smile. He was a funny fucker. Fucken squirrel that shit, he'd yell at the younger blokes and they'd look at him like was stark raving mad and in truth he probably was! He cared though and in quieter moments he'd help those around us get on track financially for a better future.
He was always talking about investments and savings and that he never wanted his family to suffer if he died. He paid for insurances, extra on the mortgage and worked hard to find a few extra bucks where he could never spending his money frivolously. This was pre-cryptocurrency so that wasn't much of a thing for him although he and his son had a small amount at the end as he started getting into it over the last couple years. He left his family in a reasonable financial position.
I wish I could tell my mate that his squirrel that shit mission was a success.
Sure, his wife has gone through a couple of very difficult months financially since his death but it seems things are going to level out now. She'll not be rich but will be able to pay off the mortgage and have some left over to re-invest which is what we're talking about at the moment. She's interested in cryptocurrency and we're working out some strategies for her. She made me laugh this morning...She said, G-dog, we need to talk about how to squirrel that shit. (she left off the fucken part.)
My friend served this country with great honour putting himself in harms way, so others did not have to. I met him twenty five years ago when we were both fresh-faced twenty-something's and we spent a lot of time together since. One of the most enduring memories I have of him is his sense of responsibility to his family. It was deeply ingrained in him and we talked so many times about taking care of those we love over the years. He was a shining example of how a true man acts.
When his war concluded he came home but fought a lifelong battle with PTSD which ultimately defeated him. I really miss that man and the way he always did the right thing no matter what, loyal to a fault and a fierce warrior; but one of the most important things he did was build barns and squirrel that shit. He defended his people, fought for them and provided for them, even after death.
Thanks for putting up with my words...I miss my buddy a lot right now, lost another only a week or so ago and am feeling a little down about it. It helps to write stuff like this so thanks for understanding and putting up with it.
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised so be humble and kind
Discord: galenkp#9209
The image is mine
Thats my aim. The squirelling. Has to be done.
Its good that insurers pay out in Oz for that kind of thing. They still dont here. A mate I mentioned before took his own life a few years ago, insurance didnt pay out but luckily he had a inservice death benefit thing with his work which paid a sizeable chunk of his family home's mortgage.
Its natural to think of those who have gone especially when you visit and are reminded of it all. Hang in there big guy and remember thats what this sharing lark is all about :O)
Fucking insurance companies piss me off! Take your money easily but fight the family tooth and nail to pay you what you deserve. Reject a lot. I don't know what it's like in America for suicide benefit but I can't imagine it's good.
They are bastards indeed. There was a big scandal over here with critical illness cover when it was found out that a lot of the companies were disqualifying people for the tiniest reason. Bastards!
I can understand it to a certain degree, the insurers reluctance to pay out but in the end death is death right? If someone has paid their policy and died then pay out. I'm glad there's been some change here, hopefully Scotland follows suit.
Thanks for your words Boomy, much appreciated.
I hear ya. I think they should just be pragmatic about it. Address how long they have had it and stuff. I hope we catch up too to save for a lot of grief.
No worries mate :0)
In the states that used to not pay you took your own life and then later change that, with the caveat that you had to have the policy for one year in most cases oh, so that nobody took out a policy to take care of their family when they committed suicide. They like to think that when somebody takes their life it's not done so methodically. The truth is nobody really knows but much like powering down in Hive it was to stop the Stampede to the cashier.
I like that the stampede to the cashier - yes I think something like that makes perfect sense. IT tends to be spontaneous and not something that is planned out a year in advance. It does suck that they refuse it over here. British companies can be right arses at times.
Damn man 2021 has been a hard year for you losing people, sorry dude!
I’m glad your buddy had the good knowledge and skill to put money away like that so his family can be taken care of, that’s huge. I know some try but not many succeed so it’s good to hear! It’s also great that he was partially invested in crypto and his wife is now interested to see where it could go, those are huge things that a lot of people won’t try right now.
PTSD is crazy stuff, I remember seeing the look on Sway’s face and reaction when he got back from Afghanistan and some fucking doofus lit off a firework near us when we were hanging out. It was terrible and broke my heart, though thankfully I don’t think he’s as bad now but it probably still lurks from time to time. I’ll never forget the look of terror and his instant reaction against the sound.
Yep, I think you saw something in Sway that you'd see in many who have seen active duty in a warzone. It tends to stick.
It's good that she's thinking to work with the crypto a little more and it's a good time to do so right now. She'll be cautious of course, but will build something I reckon.
I didn't squirrel that shit early on, but have in my later life and am still worth much more dead than alive right now. LOL.... If I die before I quit working, some folks are going to get a nice bonus !
I'm sorry again about your friend. Losing a great friend is never easy and even less easy if they take their own life. Somehow, for me, it is kind of hard to get my brain wrapped around that, being that I have not been in the "place" where that was a consideration.
I'm glad she has friends like you to help her through and super glad that the insurance will come through no matter the circumstances.
Saying or posting things does not change them, but for some reason, it does seem to help mentally, to get it out.
I think most don't do enough from a young enough age which puts pressure on later, but the smart ones learn.
It's not all about insurances for me as I tend to spread it around but life insurance can work well for many depending on their position and the families needs.
Thanks for your kind words. I'm mostly ok, but sometikes I get a bit down about it.
"fucken squirrel that shit..." just not too much either! Don't trust most insurance houses, put money aside earn interest if you young, (control you own purse strings as much as possible)!
Glad to hear things came right eventually, loop holes in policies a nightmare to say the least. Not to mention non-payment on policies, paying death taxes, hell you not even here and they want a piece of the action leaving families destitute.
Questioning never stops nor does missing folk you were close to, keep strong!
A well-rounded strategy works best. It's something I've done for many years and my mate did also. It's costly sometimes, dying, and it's good to have a plan to take care of those left behind.
We too have taken out policies, younger generation cannot afford them as we did, most employers do not offer assistance as happened in previous times.
Benefit systems have fallen into pieces originally set up after war years, honoured by most and treated fairly, those days are gone. Medical and Pension Funds all are insurance based full of loop holes, lies and deceit.
Take out a Will most important, put money into savings you too can use on a rainy day some are inclusive of death policy if requested. Death policies (Funeral Plans) are a curse something to avoid like the plague here....
Be strong for both the family left behind and yourself! Men do cry it's healthy....
It's all pretty complicated these days, plotting the right course, and I think due to the difficulties and distractions so many people ignore it. A bad move in my estimation.
Fortunately I have a reasonable head for it and whilst I'm not rich, and may never be, I feel I've navigated a reasonable course.
It's been a hard year Joan. I don't say much on the blockchain, just snippets here and there, like in this post,but I'm truth I've been worn down. You know? I'm a tough dude though and will stand the hell up and keep operating; there's little choice.
Thanks for your message.
Always reading between the lines one can feel the emotional drain, some days I prefer to read and share when I hit a brick wall...
It has been on shit year, fan is facing this direction as well, one would think things slow down, they don't... from one thing to the next, hell are we still standing?
Never been rich still sleep comfortable at night, always made ends meet so grateful for always looking after the pennies as my Mom would say.
Certain policies one must have, each country different rules one has to throw caution to the wind with how things have changed..., once bitten twice shy!
Take care and keep smiling.
Take care and keep smiling is good advice. I'll work on both. 😀
🤗 TGIF have a good one if possible.
Glad to hear things are getting better for his family. And happy to read, although he's gone, he is still able to make you smile with his saying :)
I often smile at something I remember he did...Most I can't say here I guess. He was a good mate.
Your Welcome...
No Charge...
Understanding Given Free Today...
Thanks mate. Looks like Bugs knows how to squirrel that shit.
Well the young'uns are going to remember "fucken squirrel that shit" much more readily than normally presented sage financial advice aren't they :)
Nothing to put up with, use as many words as you feel you need to.
[hugs]
It's a fairly non-conventional financial strategy, but it tends to work. 🤔
I admire your ability to write even when you are having a down time.
PTSD...you never get rid of it. In the best case you detect your triggers, but even when you do, once your brain goes into that dark mode you're fighting the worst battle. The battle with yourself.
Sending you all good thoughts...
Thanks Anna, I tend to write what I feel sometimes and at other times write so that I don't. If you know what I mean.
I do. I just realized that my coping mechanism is avoidance or humorous posts lately. My brain is just so occupied with stupid stuff and I'm just tired of it. Literally. Oh well, could be worse so I don't want to complain too much. Maybe the last 2 years are taking their toll too. I need to see something else but can't really.
Writing is a good way to order thoughts or push them aside for a while and humourous ones can even put a smile on ones face. Nothing wrong with that strategy.
Oh no - I'm so sorry to hear of your losses - I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through...
Stay shiny, @galenkp...
Annabelle.
It's happened more times than I like to count and each time it gets worse, not easier.
Thanks for your thoughts.
I am sorry for your loss may god give you power to heal you from this situation
Thanks mate, I appreciate that.