Living above your means

in #finance2 years ago

For a while now, I've been having some trouble with a friend. And as is often the case with delicate matters, it is about money. Now, I've written before about my dislike of talking money, but this person's driven me up the walls.
A while back, I was on the phone with her, and she mentioned needing a little money. She travels frequently for her studies, and she was away at the time, so I did the natural thing, and offered to help, which she declined. And I thought that was the end of that.
But a couple more weeks went by, and she reached out one night, asking if I could lend her some cash so she could meet some admission deadline. I did, she returned it the next day, it was all alright.
But after another couple of weeks, she came to me again. This time, after having ignored both myself and our mutual friend for days (even weeks?). Naturally, she was away somewhere and needed money. Again.
Now, I like to think of myself as a giving person. I'm not the sort who doesn't offer to pay, or who doesn't help out friends, or counts every cent. But at this point, I started to get angry. That night, I made up an excuse for not being able to lend her the money, and the conversation sorta stopped there for a few days.
After that, I avoided her calls for a while, wanting to avoid this bad energy I'd gotten, but eventually, I started picking up again, 'cause I figured maybe I was exaggerating.
Then, earlier, it happened again. We were on the phone, chatting, and she mentioned being short, which I politely ignored. At which point, she insisted.

What makes it weird is that this is a diligent worker. She's very conscientious, and works a lot. And yet, she's always out of cash, which suggests to me she's trying to live a life that's not hers. You know, living above her means sorta thing.

I don't know, but I've been earning my own since I was 19, an age when most of my peers were still in school, supported by their parents. In the four years since, I've been able to help my family when necessary, I went on occasional vacations, trips, and so on. Covered my own entertainment, social expenses, fitness, and so on. And yet, I've never once found myself in the position where I was cashless, much less in one where I had to ask my friends for loans.

How does one get to that point? Mind, when that person doesn't have a family to support, or even rent to pay. It doesn't seem so complicated, does it? You know I'm no fan of excessive saving, and forgetting how to live or what not, but if you find yourself getting a little strapped for cash in a given month, there's steps you can take. Take the bus, instead of an Uber. Pack a lunch, instead of eating out every day. I get the point of these things, and I appreciate their charm, but not to the point where you're always struggling for cash. I mean, if you ever make it to that point, maybe it's time you should slow the hell down. Go for the cheaper option from time to time, it won't kill you.

But I don't think it's just this one girl, but rather a syndrome in our Insta-addled society. I see a lot of young people angling for elegant, expensive restaurants, and luxurious hotels, and pricey apparel, mostly in the hope that they'll snap a few pics of that, and they'll suddenly swap places with so-and-so influencer. Except it doesn't really work like that. That person affords expensive holidays and stuff because they earn a whole lot more than you do.

Is it really wise to "fake it till you make it", financially? I don't think so. It seems more a case of fake it till you're in crippling debt. And I'm not you, but I'm not sure that's what you're working towards.

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I've been able to help my family when necessary, I went on occasional vacations, trips, and so on. Covered my own entertainment, social expenses, fitness, and so on. And yet, I've never once found myself in the position where I was cashless, much less in one where I had to ask my friends for loans.

This actually says a lot about your personal lifestyle and discipline than it does about anything else. Many people struggle with temptations to live above their means daily, I know I do. Like you said, it is important to know that we can always go for the cheaper option, just the right mindset is what is required.

It pains me to see people living beyond so far their means, especially younger people. It's best to save and invest as much as you can when you're young to take advantage of compound interest. If you don't make smart financial decisions early it gets MUCH more difficult as you get older.

Unfortunately this lifestyle is the norm in America. Rarely do people "differ gratification" these days.