"You're a giver to your own detriment."
This was once said to me. It was said over a decade ago, by a very wise woman, and it occasionally drifts to the forefront of my mind, reminding me of the need to balance giving and receiving.
"Neither a borrower nor a lender be." This little nugget has also hopped into my head just now. 😊🌸 It's interesting to mull over the implications of this saying...
I'm sure that achieving a state of perfect balance between receiving and giving is a lifetime process, and no one ever does it perfectly, all of the time. I work on this balancing act every single day, teasing out the various ways in which I offer my time, expertise and energy to others, as well as gently assessing how open I am to receiving help in each moment.
Since the aforementioned wise woman spoke to me about the potential detriments of giving too much, I've gotten better at understanding when the pendulum has swung too far to one end or the other.
There are times when I ask too much of others, and times when I ask too much of myself. I can easily when this happens in my dealings with others, because my feelings towards them will be marked by a sense of unease. Whether this unease takes the form of resentment, expectation, or both, just recognising that the feeling is there helps me to step back and address it.
Communication is key. Being open and honest in a relationship that has begun to feel tense isn't always easy, but it's better than bottling things up and pretending that things are okay. ❤️