Now I know I've complained about the cigerette counter located in pretty much all supermarkets before but it's such a great source of content for "Seriously?" Sadly, the missus uses those vape/puffer things. At least they're better than cigarettes I suppose? This morning she asked me to get her some vape liquid? Solution? Whatever it's called.
Hint: Look out for the numbers
Missus: "Can you get me, British Tobacco Liquid Vape."
Me: "Oh god!"
Missus: "If they haven't got it I'll have Golden Virginia."
Me: "Oh god!"
Twenty minutes later.
Me: "Hi, can I have some British Tobacco Vape①, please?"
Assistant: "Sorry?"
Me: "Oh god, can I have some British Tobacco Vape② you know, puffer, please?"
Assistant: "British Tobacco?"
Me: "Yes, look, I've written it down. British Tobacco number 12"
Assistant: "I don't know what you mean?"
Me: "Look, there, those vapes③ the wife buys it from here. I dunno, every time I come here for the wife there's a problem!"
Assistant: "I'm sorry but I've never heard of British Tobacco?"
Me: "OK, the wife said she would have Golden Virginia instead, number 12"
Assistant: "I only have 30grams or 100grams"
Me: "What?"
Assistant: "I only have 30grams or 100grams in the pouches."
Me: "Pouches? does Vapes④ come in pouches then?"
Assistant: "Here, look."
She held up a pouch of loose tobacco
Me: "NO! VAPE! Look, all those bottles!" [There's literally an ocean of the damn things behind her]
Assistant: "Oh! Sorry I couldn't hear you with the mask."
WTF!
Me: "But I said vape four times!"
Assistant: "Is this the one?"
Me: "I don't know and don't care, I'll take two please and the lottery thank you."
I hate the cigarette counter
😭
My actual name is Pete
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"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
I've never bought tobacco products in my life and don't do the lottery, so I manage to avoid all that. As I do self-scan at Sainbury's I hardly have to interact with people apart from the newspaper coupon I have that never scans.
As I left, the woman behind me said to the assistant: "I have this click-and-collect, but there's a problem..." I quickly spun around and said: "Best of luck, you'll need it!" The assistant gave me one of those "Fook off and die!" looks. :-D