Bumped into one of the elderly dog walkers I see on a regular basis up the park but hadn't seen him for a couple of months. I had been asking after him every time I met someone who knew him but none of them had seen him either.
Me: "Hey Tom, I thought you were dead!"
Tom: "You cheeky Cockney git, I nearly was! I had COVID."
Me: "You selfish sod, you survived! I was hoping you'd left me something in your will? I mean, that car of yours has gotta be worth a couple of hundred quid?"
Tom: "I wouldn't leave you bugger all."
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