Graveyard Shift

in #funny7 months ago (edited)

Working in the mortician business was always a drag. Sometimes it gets real mundane, if you're after a job that fills you with hopes and dreams, this ain't the one.

Day after day I spend my time surrounded by corpses. They aren't big talkers but at least it's better company than the old wifey! Hehe.. I'm pulling your leg... I'm as single as a stripper, lonely as a lube tube, bitter as a baseball to the face. For whatever reason, women just seem a bit uneasy after I tell them I work with dead bodies. Spose it's not the most glamorous thing on earth, not when there's a handsome doctor out there preventing people from dying. Also doesn't help when you pick up your date in one of these...

IRL_Hearse.jpg
God forbid her mother sees.

Anyway, things have started looking up for old Bob, I made a ton of new friends recently, my favourite is Patricia. Unfortunately she has to move away soon to her new home in the coronavirus mass grave just off the A-15.

Sometimes I wonder, when I die, will my mortician do live magic for me? See that's the kind of excellent service I give, if only my clients were able to leave positive yelp reviews without me stealing their identities.

Anyway, let me know if a loved one dies, Cheers, Bob the mortician.

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Thanks for all you do, Bob.

A wise man once said

Find a job you enjoy doing, and you will never have to work a day in your life.

Like I always say, corpses aren't great talkers, but they're damn fine listeners. Sometimes I'll pass my standup sets by them but my jokes always fall upon death ears,
Bob the mortician

I can relate, Bob.

Glad you can relate,
Bob the mortician