Toxicity, Hurts And Feelings.

in Emotions & Feelingslast year (edited)

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As human beings, we all have flaws and imperfections. We all have the capacity to hurt others, whether intentionally or unintentionally. However, it takes a great deal of courage and self-awareness to admit when we are in the wrong and to take steps to change our toxic traits. Sometimes coming to the realization can be life changing or the opposite depending on how we handle it.

I recently had an experience that made me realize just how important it is to be aware of our own toxic traits. A real life experience actually which I will be talking about here. I have a long lost friend who has been there for me for a very long time when we were still in contact. To be honest he has all the attributes of a true friend - he was always there for me, he does everything I ask, and he goes to great lengths to be there for me whenever I am down. However, I never realized that I was the opposite. Although I felt I was also giving my best. Little did I know I had not been reciprocating the same gestures of a true friend. Unfortunately, I lost contact with him for years and I couldn't tell what really happened, but I can recall we had a fight. Then the communication stopped and we lost contact of each other.

Yesterday, I was all alone with my thoughts when my phone rang and surprisingly it was my long lost friend. We got talking, it was like we never lost contact because we reconnected so quickly. Then he dropped the bombshell on me when I asked him what truly happened. He opened up to me about how I had not been a true friend even when he had. I felt terrible because I thought I had been trying my best in our 5-year friendship. But he was right, and this made me understand that most times we never know that we are the toxic one. Most times we know, but we find it so hard to believe. I totally believe I have some attitudes that might be hurting others besides I'm human and cannot be completely perfect.

Truth be told, we all have the capacity to be toxic, and it is up to us to recognize and change our behavior. We need to learn to accept our toxicity and change for the better, not just for ourselves, but for the people around us as well. It's important to understand that our actions and words can have a profound impact on others, and it is our responsibility to make sure that impact is positive.

It takes a lot of courage to understand that we have toxic traits too that hurt others. And I understand that now. Sometimes we blame it on our zodiac sign, which I believe is complete nonsense. If my attitude towards others is wrong, then I need to man up and accept it. Change my attitude or better quit than hurt the feelings of others.

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People's feelings are not something to be taken lightly or used as a tool for my own benefit. Some toxic traits, such as manipulation, selfishness, and lack of empathy, can cause immense harm to those around us. It is crucial to recognize and take responsibility for our actions and how they may affect others. The impact of our words and actions can be long-lasting and severe, and it is our duty to ensure that it is positive. People's feelings are precious and should not be toyed with.

Being aware of our own toxic traits is not easy, but it is essential. It's important to reflect on our actions and words, and to take responsibility for them. We need to be willing to apologize when we hurt others and to make amends. We need to be willing to listen when others call us out on our toxic behavior.

We all have the power to change and to be better. It starts with being honest with ourselves, and with being willing to make the changes necessary to improve our relationships with others. It's not always easy, but it's worth it. We need to be the best version of ourselves, not just for ourselves, but for the people around us as well.

To conclude all my long talks, toxic traits are not something to be taken lightly, it is important for us to be aware of our own toxic traits, understand and accept them and take steps to change them for the better. It takes courage, self-awareness and willingness to change to admit when we are in the wrong and make amends. Remember, our actions and words have an impact on others, it is our responsibility to make sure it is a positive one. Let's strive to be the best version of ourselves for ourselves and for the people around us.

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I use to have this thought in me and would ask myself if I am a toxic person to others because I used to be careful with toxicity, and anyone exhibiting that, I don´t hesitate to leave, but in another sense, we need to be observant of our behaviours too. Are we sure we aren´t toxic to other people? The truth is, we are not perfect, and we may think we are doing the best thing, but to others, we are not and it is until they open up to us, we would realize we have been getting it all wrong. Meanwhile, it is something we have to check on ourselves too. There is a need for us to self-evaluate ourselves and see where we are going wrong, especially with our daily communication with other people.

I seriously enjoyed your article and it made me reflect more on myself too.

What baffles me is seeing people attribute their toxicity to their zodiac signs, like I have had an encounter with someone who told me she can't change because her attitude was gotten from her zodiac sign. Believe me I ended that friendship there. There's nothing absolutely wrong in admitting that we are the wrong ones then try to change. That shows our real true intention for others and that friendship/relationship. Thank you for reading.

I don't even believe our attitudes or being toxic are shaped because of zodiac sign. I never even knew about such words until late last year when we were given a topic to write on here, and that was when I knew something like that exist, but I will never attribute my toxicity or attitudes to it. We need to admit our wrongs and change for the better instead of finding excuses and fault from something that doesn't relate to our personality.

You took the better decision of disengaging yourself from such friendship because people like that wouldn't be remorseful in the end. I don't like that either.

It's my pleasure reading from you 😊

Hello @marriot5464

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Thank you for the advice. I guess I am still a novice on how things work here, so I will try to adhere to what you just said. Hugs 🤗

This is right. Many times we must have hurt others in one way or the other. Some times intentionally and at times non intentional.

But what matter most is to discover our mistakes and our toxic relationship with others and do well to fix them. Thanks so much for sharing with us.

Exactly, sometimes we really don't even know that we are hurting them. Understanding that we also can be wrong at times will help us in treating people nicely. Thank you for reading.

Always welcomed my friend

This is very true @marriot5464 it's very easy to notice some else's toxic trait but it's so difficult to see ours, it takes real courage to see and admit it and even change.

You have drawn our hearts to something very important, thanks for sharing this with us.

To be good friends we must be intentional.

Everyone believes that they're are the good one. But sometimes we got to sit and check some of those traits we exhibit people have told us in one way or the other that hurt them. And try to make a change, because for someone to open up to you on how hurt the were from our action means they were truly hurt.
Thank you for reading

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