If that boy don't love you by now he will never ever love you— Those are part of the lyrics of Ciara's song, it's one among many songs that have talked about dealing with toxic dating. If your boyfriend no dey do you well clap clap clap clap clap AWAY was written by VIP.
With all these songs written about messed up relationships in different languages and directed towards different sexes, you would think people would be strong enough to deal with their own problems; the guy who keeps on promising you a better life; the overly manipulative girl; the married man who says he will leave his wife; the married woman who keeps you on the side. At some point, you would think these people would see themselves in these lyrics but everyone goes into a battle thinking they'll win and that's not bad however you need to know when the battle is lost and try to pick your battles carefully.
Why do people find themselves loving persons who aren't right for them? I think they ignore the red flags. He said he just wants to have fun or she said she can be manipulative and for some reason (call it ignorance) you don't take those signs seriously. After a couple of bad relationships, I started keeping a list of red flags, things that would be cool and must-haves that my dates should have. Say what you want about my list… I feel they are essential for everyone who is dating. Yoo, dating is an experiment. You are learning about yourself and about who you want in your life.
How do you end these bad relationships? Just do it, as Nike said. Just end them. You know this person I'm talking about. They cause you to fear, you think about them all the time. They distract you from progressing. You spend more time thinking about how to please them than you think about pleasing yourself. Just stop, you will survive. It will hurt for a while but do what is best for yourself for once and try to stay sane.
Why do you end these relationships? For your peace. The right person for you will not take away your peace. But people don't want peace, lets face it. We don't think we are worthy of a peace of mind. So we take on responsibilities that will prove to us that we don't. If we pick someone who clearly loves us, that means our search is over. We no longer have to find that person anymore… so what next? So end it so you can learn to find what is best for you. End it so you can begin to set boundaries and heal.
End it most importantly because you contribute %50 of that toxic relationship; I know you may not know this but the person is behaving that way because of the boundaries you never set in the first place. So you soaks up the bad water into every detail about you. End it so that person can learn and even if the person doesn't you can say you tried and now you can move on.
Take full responsibility for your life and take full control of your future.
Word 👌. I really enjoyed reading through. This is really an underappreciated post.
Thanks for sharing
Thank you very much bro
@ebingo well said..."The right person for you will not take way your peace!"
Nice writeup!
Thank you!!
So true! It may be not easy, but it’s the way it is.
Thank you.