The older we become, the more responsibilities fall on us, the more often we have to do what we do not want or like. This goes on for a long time, until the moment when we reach the age when it is useless to demand that we perform any duties, or our unfortunate depressed inner child will rebel, break free and force all the disgusted duties to be abandoned, regardless of effects. Honestly, both options are pretty sad ...
But there is a more constructive third option. We has repeatedly said that any of our subpersonality should not be ignored by us. So, we need to negotiate ... And we should not negotiate from a compromise, since a compromise always leads to a loss of both sides, but we must seek consensus. How can an adult get a consensus with his inner child?
In terms of desires, our inner child has two problems: it or wants to get what is currently impossible to have objectively or, conversely, does not want to do what needs to be done.
What is the essence of our desires? The object of desire is an ordinary thing in an unusual context. Naturally, we are only talking about objects, not people. It is our desire to possess this object that makes the context unusual. So, on a hot day you really want to drink. There is nothing unusual in a bottle of water! But remember what kind of welcome it becomes and what kind of pleasure you get by getting it.
I must say that for a child the inability to get something here and now means the inability to receive it ever! This is the peculiarity of children's perception. Our inner child behaves exactly the same! He wants this thing here and now! He wants to go to the beach here and now! He wants ice cream here and now! And he does not care that you do not have money, that you have to fulfill an urgent order or that you are trying to be on a diet. The inability to get what is desired leads to a depression or rebellion of the inner child that externally manifests in our inability to force ourselves to do what needs to be done.
Prohibitions and orders will not help. It's useless to scold yourself for laziness, it will only intensify the depression of the inner child. We begin to agree. Does the inner child want a new laptop? dress? See: if I do this work now, we can afford it! You still want to continue, and I will do this job and you will get what you want.
It is important to remember a few points.
First, never deceive your inner child! Promised - do it. If you promised to please yourself, buy yourself a new hat with a fee from the work done - buy a bonnet! Because the second time your inner child will not believe you!
In order not to be deceived, give only those promises that you can fulfill! Do not be afraid that an inner child will require a real helicopter! His desires do not usually go beyond your childhood desires.
And the last! The contract with the inner child follows from the subpersonality of the inner adult. The inner parent does not suit for this, because he is a bore who persistently teaches us!
Step by step, step by step, teach your inner child to wait for the desired and trust you. This will make it easier and easier for you to do the work that you do not want to do, will give an additional stimulus. By the way, the very well done work already brings pleasure and is an excellent stimulus for the future.
And the last. All these councils work only if the main obstacle to performing the necessary is your disorganization. If you basically do not like what you are doing, then the only solution is to change jobs!
So beautiful blog🤗.......And also picture😍 responsibility makes a more stronger💪💪.......🙏🙏
Great content,
Yes do the thing what you love not what other things is appropriate 🌸 love to see this post
Yay! 🤗
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Interesting reading. But sometimes we need to discipline our inner child, otherwise we may act too impulsively. We must constantly remind ourselves of the consequences of our actions.
Great advice. Thank you so much for this