I try to bury the thoughts and feelings but my heart wants to keep digging them up.
The laughter, the fun the once was the best times of my life keep resurfacing my brain.
No, stop, leave me be. I must move on from these memories. Let go of my conscience and die away and never come back.
It hurts, it burns it cringes my insides thinking about the abandonment. The leaving and never coming back…the never saying goodbye. The walk away of never return. Oh dear God ease my brokenness.
The unanswered questions of why the evacuation?, how could you?, what did I do to deserve this desertion?, who caused this?, when did you decide to exit?, where are you now?
The assumptions haunt me when unexpected. The maybes circle my mind. The what if’s lie down with me at night. Will I ever completely be free?
No. This feeling will raid my insides for life. The silhouettes of friendship are hard to shun.
Lost.
Broken.
Confused.
Plans of growing together and watching our children married off together are shutdown. Never to come to pass unfinished plans whither away like a dying rose.
Browned, shriveled, decayed. No, not the rose, my heart. How do I get on? Am I capable of enjoying new friendships when I have unfinished ones?
Or were they for yet a season? As quick as the leaves change colors and fall to the ground…our friendship faded and blew away with the winds. Tossed and turned, lonely and cold.
My heart aches.
My soul is bruised.
My hope has been dimmed.
I must let go. I must move on. I must accept reality. You are gone, no more apart of my life. I won’t beg or plead or force anyone to be.
It’s your loss not mine. Your choice to disuse and terminate our bond. Our sisterhood is no longer…our connection lost and severed.
You’re missing so much. You never got to see the woman I’ve become. You will never know how I’ve overcome my trials and tribulations…including this one.
Was my life too much for you?. Could you not stand the heat of hard times? Did I share too deeply with you?
It’s okay old friend.
I’ve learned to thank you for the beautiful moments you have given me. I’ve learned to forgive you even without you knowing. I have learned to appreciate the struggle as it has made me stronger.
Oh, don’t let this moment fool you.
It’s not a moment of weakness but of strength. Anyone willing to admit they struggle, anyone willing to admit it’s hard, anyone willing to admit the pain of moving on, anyone willing to admit they don’t have it all under control shows great strength.
This is only part of my healing.
I’m ready to move on from you. I need to see what else life has for me.
Letting Go. Slowly letting go.
My thoughts aloud soothe me. They help me understand this pain I’m in. They also free me from this prison of wonderings.
I’m free.
I’m letting go.
Goodbye forever old friend.
I’ve had several abandoned friendships in my lifetime. Some more hurtful than others but the pain seems to spring back up unexpectedly.
In my 40th year of life I have finally been able to realize and accept that some friendships are seasonal. I had a hard time with this truth for so long and it ate me alive knowing that I would have lost friendships forever.
There were two really hurtful ones that abandoned me for no apparent reason.
One moved away and stopped calling me as well as stopped returning my calls. I began seeing photos online of her new friendships and just couldn’t understand why or what I did wrong. I felt I wasn’t good enough for her or didn’t posses “worthy” material things. These new friends had big houses and things that I had not yet acquired. If that was the case and if that is what she was really seeking then she didn’t deserve my friendship anyway. I was loyal and caring towards her and her family and it really hurt.
The second one that really stung was someone I confided in. We were growing together as friends in many ways. After I attended her wedding the calls stopped. When I did see her it was as if we were strangers. She was very short with me and really didn’t want to show any type of affection. Why? I most likely will never know.
If you have ever experienced abandonment from a good friend you are not alone. It hurts but it’s possible to move on. These experiences have only made me wiser and stronger.
I still love people and enjoy my new found friendships but I’ve stopped having so much expectation. I don’t expect my friendships to last a certain amount of time and I don’t expect my friends to act in a certain way. People will make their own decisions.
What I do is thank God for the present time I have with them and only hope that it would be a lasting relationship. If not, my unexpectations will allow me to better handle whatever happens.
Growing up I’ve always had best friends and close friends. Some of those friends are still in my life even after 30 some years. However, my husband is my best friend. I’m so grateful to have him in my life. I don’t cling to people like I used to because of what I’ve been through but I still am able to love them and give myself to them as a friend would. I’m just more vigilant and cautious.
After you have given so much of yourself for so long to people who just abandon you, it gets weary. For so long I was scared to give of myself to anyone but I knew that God still had plans for me and I trust Him to bring people into my life at the right times. I’m so glad I didn’t give up on friendship because I currently have some pretty amazing women in my life whom I have connected with. ♥️
Thank you to @briayana for these beautiful withered rose photos. She has been added on as a 10% beneficiary of this post.
I never had many friends but most of them have betrayed me so I abandoned them, now I have some new friendships and they're good people but I find it difficult to trust people and consider them close friends, and even if I do, I cannot open up and tell about all the things that I would like to tell because of past experiences. Sometimes it is quite lonely especially in such difficult moments but I don't want to be betrayed XD...
Thanks for open this space to talk about feelings of abandonment, precisely a very important person has just left me and I have to healing myself...huh.
Take care and I wish you the best.
I SO understand you. I know exactly how you feel about not wanting to open up any more due to past experiences.
I can really relate to the lonely part. I have cried many nights from feeling friendless and lonely…it’s not a fun place.
I am so sorry to hear that you are currently experiencing this feeling. I hope healing an comfort come your way. ❤️
Thank you so much for your kind words, I know that past bad experiences can make us don't have new good friends because of the fear of opening up again and exposing ourselves to being hurt. But there are people who do care about us and are not bad company, you just have to give them a chance (something that can be too difficult). That's all depends of us.
I'm sorry you have experienced many sad and difficult moments, hope that time has given you strength and experience to improve and be happier with yourself. I want to learn of my bad moments too, to know me more, to be more happy.
I send you hugs, thanks for commented me, you are very kind ☺️. Nunca dejes de brillar ✨.
I definitely agree about giving those that do care a chance.
Yes, although the experiences were hurtful they have helped me grow stronger and wiser.
I send hugs back your way. You are very kind and thoughtful as well ~ 💖
Some friendships are for just a season. We don't always know why we get rejected, it hurts a lot, the wondering if one has done something wrong, the heart wrenching pain of rejection, it's horrible. The truth is those friends aren't worthy of your friendship in the end. Thank you for sharing, loved reading it @crosheille it brought back some memories of a friend or two in my life too.never give up on friendship, there are some good ones out there.
Thanks so much for your words @artywink. You described what I feel about this pain so well...it's simply a horrible feeling.
This truth has helped me get through my pain.
Thank you so much for reading and leaving your sweet words of comfort and encouragement ~ ❤️
I've definitely been there too, especially when you leave a country you realize how few people make an effort to stay in touch with you. I can't even get one friend or family member to follow my family's Hive blogs, let alone answer their phone once every 6 months. I have painfully learned to just enjoy a friendship for what it is in the moment, and like you, I'm lucky my spouse is my best friend.
I honestly feel my fellow Hivers know me better than anyone outside my apartment these days.
👆🏽 This exactly!
I’ve even noticed some people would rather you text than call, they don’t like answering their phones any more.
Yes, love this. This has been the best thing for me, to just enjoy what it is in the moment. It’s great that your spouse is your best friend. 😊
Oh my goodness I have felt this way too. I literally share more here than what I do with my friends and family. It’s sad to say but I feel people get me more here and actually care to listen. Thank goodness for outlets such as these ~
Thanks so much for adding your input.
This is so touching. Even though I never had so many friends I can feel the pain of abandonment. People around me lived in luxury and often felt that I have nothing to offer them. The only one who has ever stood by me is @gloriaolar and I don't know if I can ever find someone so understanding like her.
Its better to have that one person who understands than keep a number of people who don't know your worth. ❤
Awwwww, I feel the same my dear. You're the only one that understands my constant emotions and mood. I'm grateful I have you in my life dearie.
Thanks for reading and responding @monica-ene. ☺️
I’m so glad you’ve had a good friend to stick by your side.
I definitely agree with your last statement ~ ♥️
I have been blessed with some lasting friendships but there have been some who've moved away to other cities or emigrated, and some do keep in touch but others simply cut the close ties that once existed, and that hurts. I've tried to keep in contact but I always had to do that and sadly give up evetually.
I believe it's part of growth and the seasons of life, but it still hurts so I know exactly how you feel!
It does hurt when close ties are cut.
This is exactly what I did with those two friendships I spoke of until I realized it became a one sided friendship.
I agree that it’s part of growth and the seasons we go through. Thanks so much for your response ~
This is an emotional post. I found myself in it while reading this article. I also value friendship, but it does not appear that I am destined for it. There were a few relationships that abruptly ended, and I was so sad. But looking back, I realized that everything and all relationships in life come and go as a result of fate. Instead of being sad and thinking about the relationships that have hurt me, I want to try to develop the precious relationships that I have.
You are an emotional person. All good things will come to you.
An abrupt ending is very sad and hard to handle.
This is currently where I am at now. It took several years for me to get to this point but it has been so freeing and I am enjoying my new found friendships. I hope you enjoy the relationships that you are now focusing on :)
Thank you so much for your encouraging words ~
@crosheille that's human being for you they can never be satisfied no matter how nice you are, I posted something similar to this yesterday about "How do we respond to situation that will make you angry especially receiving such from someone you don't expect will do so" because a friend offended me with the fact that am still surprised with his actions because he really embarrassed me in public. We learn everyday and what I believe is not everyone that smiles at you is really happy with you. We just have to live our life and be good to ourselves
Thank you for adding your input here. Oh yes, it's certainly hard to please which is why I stopped trying long ago. I hope you and your friend have reconciled.
I never had him in mind just surprised about his actions
Dee Brestin wrote a book called "The Friendships of Women." It was first published in 1988. I had a copy of it for years, but I don't remember whether I actually read it. I do know from personal experience that some friendships are only for a season. They may be very intense and important while they last, but someone moves away, or joins a different church, and it fizzles. I arrived as a newlywed in a small Midwestern town three states from home, and had to carve a place for myself with no relatives or built-in connections. When we moved away nine years later, I was disappointed to find out how quickly many of the women who I had thought were close friends quit writing to me. (That was before cell phones.) I had to start all over again in a town even more close-knit than the first one, and it was a horrible time in my life. Now, thirty years later, I still keep in touch with a handful of ladies from the first town, and a handful from the second town. They are among my best friends, even though we are far apart.
This was one of the hardest lessons I ever had to learn. I didn’t take it so well when I first realized this is how it was sometimes.
Yes, fizzles is a good word for it…that’s exactly what happened to my friendships.
Oh wow, after nine years you’d definitely think those friendships would stay strong. I know the feeling of starting over and it’s not always fun.
It’s great in the end you were able to stay in touch with some of those friends. Close friends are hard to come by and are very special when you find them.
Thanks so much for sharing a little of your story with me ~ 😊
That must've hurt. I am also very thankful that I have lots of friends too, but I know deep in my heart that we won't be together forever. We're bound to move on and go to different chapters in our lives, and that's okay. I guess I just have to not let myself get attached to someone that much. Thank you for this post!
Yes it hurt more than I ever imagined it would.
I detached myself from people due to the fear of getting hurt again. But when I stopped expecting so much (like the friendship lasting a lifetime) it became easier. I think it’s smart to be cautious but it’s still okay to get close to someone…just not so over dependent on them.
I appreciate you reading ~
Yes, I agree, in fact that's one thing I wrote about previously, about being independent. You're welcome!!
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