Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.
I've been thinking a lot the last few days about time. I read a post today that also made me think about whether I am using my time wisely or wasting it.
I think I have wasted a lot of time ~ why? Out of fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of being uncomfortable and moving out of what I know to be safe. Fear of failure. Fear of stress.
Today I pulled myself up by my bootstraps and told myself "No more wasting time". I jotted down the deadlines and cemented them in my mind. I wrapped them with string in my heart and I committed to them.
The time ahead is going to be wrought with tribulation, uncertainty, discomfort and conflict and while I am certainly not prepared for the latter, the other ones I think I can deal with. Mostly. But sitting around and fretting, waiting for things to change is nothing more than wasting time. Time where I could be fighting for things to change. Time where I could be planning and strategizing...making things happen. The cards will fall as they may and I will have to deal with that when the time comes, but for now, I am simply wasting time, effort and value while doing nothing.
The reckoning
There are parts of our lives where we have to make really tough decisions, where we sometimes feel like we have no-one to help us stand tall and fight against indecision, against immoral actions or against tyranny. The funny thing is that being a bystander is a worse crime than doing something.
I'm going to be moving house soon (in the next few weeks) and just before Christmas. It is going to be a tough time and there is no way of knowing right now how things will play out afterwards, but I need to make the change and relocate to the rest of my family. They aren't far off but in order to do so, I'm probably going to ruffle a lot of feathers on this side where I currently am.
Generally I don't like conflict situations and I try to be as diplomatic as possible when it comes to negotiations but I have tried that before and it hasn't ended well so I doubt that this time will be any different, so I will be taking a much harsher stance and laying down some boundaries. Some people don't like boundaries and get highly offended when you assert them.
Somewhere along the way I lost how to use them effectively and now is the right time to start implementing them with the help of others as a support system to enforce.
The outcome
People can really be arserags at times and I'm expecting the worst to be honest, but there is no situation that has come before now where this particular individual hasn't thrown a temper tantrum when I said no and stated my case.
It's going to be interesting to see how it plays out and at the end if I don't get the response that I am aiming for, well at least I can say that I tried and diligently put in time, effort and perseverance. It will also then set precedent for any future issues that may be faced as a result.
So today is one of those days which could become pivotal in my life story. Perhaps I will look back on this post in years to come and be grateful that I took a stand, perhaps not, but at least I'm going to stop wasting time and start moving and shaking.
The image is my own
I am sorry. I was formulating a reply when I got to arserags. That was me, everything gone out of my head 😀
Hahaha I'm so sorry Boomy, it was a serious name calling effort though and that was a mild expletive compared to what I wanted to say. I know you know the type of people I'm talking about.
I do know the type and I think arse-rag sums them up very nicely. It just came out of the blue in the text and made me guffaw!
I actually remember while I was writing I got a bit of a rage session going which prompted that. Certain individuals tend to have that effect. You know, the kind that even the mould on a fridge lining would pull it's nose up at.
Lol it changed the tone in a short second didn't it.
It totally did! You sometimes need that rage session to let it all spill out and then it mostly feels better when you have put it down in black and white. Of course the odd funny insulty comment sometimes snaps you into a better frame of mind!
I feel that setting limits has its benefits Emma at least it works for me because for many things I don't need the approval of others, I have autonomy, I feel confident in my decisions, I am in charge of my life because I have the power to choose my own time and rhythm.
Receive a big hug ⭐
It's difficult when there are a lot of moving parts and there's a lot to lose...that's probably why it's taken me so long to get to this point. I am getting my confidence back to say "no fuck it" and stand by my decision but it's taken a lot of courage to get there.
I suppose it's difficult for you to understand because you don't know the history, but your words of encouragement are appreciated. I do need to stand up for myself more and simply say no.
A hug back to you too :)
7 years ago I had to make that change of city, and it was very hard. Home, work, affections, and things that were not good were left in that place. I restarted and changed my lifestyle, the one I have now has not been easy, but I'm still here. I send you hugs that show you the way because you have courage and I know it and I perceive it when I read you.⭐🌲
Restarting can breathe a breath of fresh air into your life for sure and even though the road is paved with difficulty, it's an opportunity to clean the slate.
Thanks for your comment, hugs to you too.
I think sometimes we have to take a break and do nothing. You know, just feel the time pass by because in those times, we can think of something what should we really do next and have time to assess ourselves. But, of course, being bystander for so long is not good at all. !PIZZA
I can't just stand idly by and let the situation play out though because of what's at stake so I have to make a move. You know in the old cowboy movies where the two are standing at a face off and their fingers are twitching to their guns and there's like this massive build up of tension in the air waiting for them to draw and see who gets the shot off first? This is the moment I am in currently.
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Thank you 🙂