Trusting someone is hard. Gradually the confidence is lost in the crowd of strictness. The dichotomy is becoming interesting now. The ink of the pen is running out, and the darkness inside people is growing effortlessly. The lifespan of enlightened life is decreasing. Neutrally there are two types of people in the world now; A group of people who want to live for every moment, are ready to enjoy life by considering every moment as a good time—those who build a strong foundation for the future. Everything in the present is thought of for future generations. They trust their hearts, taking all bold chances. They believe in living fast. Whatever they take in life gives them self-satisfaction. The other group is always cautious and believes in logic.
They build a life around them by adopting different strategies. They believe in life that they will live long as a reward for such frugality. I like to ask myself, what is the best way to live? Was either of these the right way? I want to immerse myself in such thoughts whenever I am alone. Unfortunately, I belong to that group who like to live fast. Finding the right way is difficult. But it is effortless to act without thinking. It's hard to be alone in life without something constant. Realization in life requires people and feelings. Escaped to travel and experience since childhood. But never found stability and financial freedom.
Sometimes I think I shouldn't have gone to engineering school as my parents told me. But my heart didn't know if there was freedom here. Now it isn't very smart to find a price for freedom. But people love to be stupid. Till the last age, we run to change ourselves. I want to pursue freedom where there is self-satisfaction. I always desired stability. There was an ebb and flow of steady state amid an insatiable need for independence. I do not know whether anyone can be alone. I realized that overthinking was getting ready to kill my happiness. Even overthinking about future careers hurts. Damn, let's get back on track. I was writing down my thoughts. I vow to reproduce them in future meaningful manuscripts.
I was not ready to take advantage of these moments. Because apparently, good times were few and far between these days. Bad times took me away. Pouring myself a fresh cup of coffee, I returned to my table. Inevitably, my mind takes me back to the memory. I'm not ready to remember him, whom I loved dearly. I spent more time with him than anyone else. I was sure he never cared. He only wanted a place of safety, which in time, entered the higher. Since leaving, the desire to write has grown a little more. Perhaps this is why poets wait for heartbreak—what a strange place the world is. Even if you have a whole heart full of love or a generous spirit, this world will break you down and eventually leave you empty. The hope of living for the moment has anchored me to poverty.
When I take the time to build a foundation that keeps me stuck in a box, time and circumstances have mercy on me. And nothing in life is under your control; how can it be our life? Life sometimes takes us to a point where we are forced to choose between wealth and freedom. True spiritual happiness and I get lost in the created status quo. I feel that humanity has gone away from me. I wanted to change myself more than the things I longed for in the world. I knew I had no power of my own. But if I can get my words out there and spread the message, people can come together. They can become whatever they want to be. I can only hope that the impact of my words can reach someone's heart someday. I will be stuck with him forever. To me, that was the mark of true nobility.