The Saddest Day Of Our Lives ..
Is upon us. At 6:20am Saturday Morning, Pepper's soul left us for a better place. Pepper was surrounded by My wife, Molly and I as he took his final breath, then his little life here with us, expired. As my hand lay on his chest, I could feel his heart stop beating, and our own hearts began to break. He was Loved Deeply. We kissed him and cuddled him throughout the night, petting him gently and talking to him in soft soothing tones. We told him over and over again, that we loved him, that we would miss him, and that it was okay to pass on. We told him to run to his sister, Patches, and our unborn child who wait for him at heavens gates. It is with heavy and extremely saddened hearts, that I tell you that Pepper has died.
This Is Not A Tribute ..
But rather an announcement to those of you who kept Pepper in your thoughts and prayers. My wife Melissa, Molly and Myself used the nice messages left on the last post as strength, because they came from a place of love. Thank you for the kindness you found within your hearts to write such supportive words. I may take some time away from writing, but know I have a lot of support here that I may really need. I don't feel like doing anything, eating anything, or talking to anybody.. But I know that would be the last thing he would want for me if he could see me now. So I will eventually find my peace. Then, I will take not my sadness, but rather the joy he gave me and write that tribute to "My Buddy Boy".
Before I Leave You ..
I wanted to share something very special.. Our last day with Pepper. We didn't have a lot of time left with him to do everything he loved to do one more time, but we managed to fit some of the most important things into the time he had left. After talking with the doctors and seeking advice, we went to see Pepper and decided to take him home and let him die with us there. I am so glad we did that. It wasn't the same spunky, curious, barking Pepper we knew from a week or so earlier, but rather a worn down, exhausted, hurting little guy who could hardly stand up. We brought him home so he could be in a familiar and comfortable place, surrounded by love and kisses. We didn't know how long he had, but knew it wasn't much at all, so this is what we did...
We let him be with his dearest sister Molly. She was noticeably upset at his condition and became a nervous wreck. Through all of the uncertainty of what was actually happening, she did sit with him on his blanket. Later that night, she laid by his side, providing comfort and warmth. He found the energy to stand and take a few steps to check out his blankets and beds; everything was right where he left it and everything smelled familiar.
We then took him for one of his most beloved things.. A Walk. We took a walk around the neighborhood, taking turns carrying him. Pepper was too weak and wobbly to walk on his own. We paused at a few of his favorite peeing spots so he could maybe sniff sniff one more time. He didn't show any interest in doing that, but I do think he enjoyed the fresh air, smells and sights along a familiar path. We kissed him and talked to him the whole way.
After our walk we placed him by the back window. Many times after his walks, he would jump up to the window looking for someone to open it. He wanted to sit there and see what was happening in the back of the house. He would sniff the air and look around, eventually falling asleep there. He couldn't sleep this time, but did sniff a few times while looking around. Man did he always enjoy doing that. My wife and I took turns comforting him while he was there.. absorbing the final time he would do this.
I took him out back to pee. This was a fun thing for him to do because he knew we would give him a cookie after every potty time. This time it was just nice to know he knew where he was and knew where he used to pee. Unfortunately he did not have the energy to lift his leg to go. He looked so sad, but loving that moment none the less.
For the rest of the evening, before we headed up to bed and what would be his final "Night-Night Time", we let him move from bed to bed looking for the right comfy spot. He must have been in some pain and knew the end was nearing. He just couldn't get comfortable for very long in one spot. Although this would worsen as the night grew older, he did find one bed that felt just right, and laid there in it for a good while. It is a very fluffy white and tan bed that we keep under one of the end tables by the couches. He would often be found resting there in the evenings, between where my wife and I would be sitting. (It is also the bed that we decided we would use as his final resting spot before cremation)
He found a little comfort lying on the blankets with his little sister Molly, on top of a pillow under a lamp, and on the giant dog bed by the fireplace.. three of his go to spots.
He also spent a few precious minutes lying next to my legs, as he had done so many times before. I tried to burn this moment into my memory, because I always enjoyed him up there laying by me and touching my leg with his warmth. It was always so comforting knowing that he was by my side.. A faithful and true friend to the very end.
It was time for us to go to bed, not knowing that this would be the longest night of our lives. It would be a horrible, sleepless night of emotional turmoil, that left us broken hearted and crying out in pain. A night where our small world seemed to be falling apart. The emptiness and sadness in the hours that followed his death, will have to be faced together as a family. Right now it seems as though my life is not worth living without little Pepper by my side. Right now everything seems not worth doing. Right now I am feeling the paralyzing loss of my best friend, my buddy, my baby boy. I can not explain what this loss feels like right now in words, but it is the worst pain I have ever felt. I do not know how this will ever pass.
We had a dear friend take one final family photo. It was a sad, yet happy moment. It was one of those surreal moments, where I felt like time stood still so our little family could be together as one, one more time. I will be glad that we paused for this photo some day. It was hard to do, but I am glad we did.
My Dear Pepper ..
I hope you are at the 'Rainbow Bridge'. Go frolic and play, run through the fields and pee on the trees. There is no need to turn around to look for us, we will find you again when the time is right and we will cross the Rainbow Bridge together. We will miss you more than you can imagine. Our hearts hurt, our eyes weep, our minds are running through the events of your life that once made us smile. Today we cry when we think of you and feel the overwhelming emptiness, your little soul left behind after it departed. The memories bring us to tears, but we hope some day they will make us smile once more. But today, our broken hearts can not be healed.
We Miss you dearly Pepper. We so very Love You. We Love You Pepper.. Goodbye my friend.. Goodbye. Rest In Peace our baby boy. Kiss Kiss Kiss.
Thank you for swinging by my blog and checking out the post. Have a great day!
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
Author unknown...
All words, pictures and art pieces are the sole property of B D Miller Gallery, unless otherwise noted and credited, and are not to be reproduced or copied without the prior written consent of B D Miller Gallery.
About Me ~ The Artist
My art work incorporates a wide variety of subject matter, including landscape, seascape, cityscape, and still life images. My works are the product of a continuing process of exploration through which I seek to portray personal and visionary interpretations of my surroundings. My paintings are impressions of places and events from everyday life, an interpretation of my imagination, and personal responses to what I see and feel on a daily basis. More recently I have invested generous amounts of time into my landscape painting. I am surrounded by natural and man made beauty, which inherently presents itself in the tri-state area, and almost demands that I paint it.
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For me art requires love, honesty and perseverance. In return, it reveals some personal, non-analyzable, and creative untamed passion. For the public, art with its magnificent beauty, improves mood and health and builds better human beings and communities. It engages the intellect, softens the heart, strengthens the soul and frees the spirit.
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I am so sorry, hugs to you and your lovey wife.
You have been such amazing parents to Pepper from what I read here.
You know what Pepper was the luckiest dog to have you both love him this way.
I am crying,choking and hurting as I read this, its like those deep wounds have opened up again.
I know that Pepper and Choco are in a better place and we will meet them some day.
I can't write anymore I am starting to cry all over again.
Sending some good thoughts and prayers your way. ♥️
Thank you so much for those lovely words. I am also very sorry for rehashing old feelings and making you cry today.. not my intentions at all. I thought things would get better by now, but the mornings and the evenings (when I have time to really think) are still very tough. I still cry at the drop of a hat.. only takes a small moment of reflection to trigger it. Gosh I miss him. I am also glad that I am not alone in this. My wife, Molly, old friends and new ones like yourself.. make the bad days a little easier 😌 - Thank you for the comment.. it means more than you may know.
It always amazes me where we find support when we need it most 😊
I believe that the universe has a way of bringing people together so they can heal.
I hardly talk to anyone online, I have 3 friends over the last 12 years I've been online and sometimes the connect is so real.
I know it wasn't your intention at all to make me cry, sometimes tears help more than we know.
Take care. Have a lovely day. Mine is almost done.
I wrote a note on this, I think I just never pressed go. And then I saw that I didn't and I have to wonder if that was meant to be.
I was so sad for you and went on and on.
Yikes.
I just want to let you know how very sad I was for you, because I know you loved him, your little pepperoni, but, I know you hated seeing him suffer. He knows you loved him and I am glad you got to bring him home and spend his time with you and your wife.
There will never be another Pepper, as it should be. None will take his place, for it was his to stake.
Be well, Brad. All my love to you and your family.
Denise
Never a need to worry about commenting, although I will take it. We need all the love and support we can get right now. It has been one of the most heartbreaking losses that we have had to endure in life thus far. About as sad as when we had lost our unborn child. They are very much the children, and their lives are just to stinking short. We ARE happy that we had those few precious hours with him to say our good byes and be there for him when he was at his weakest. There never will be another Pepper. He was the best friend we could have ever asked for. He will be deeply deeply missed. Thank you SO very much for your heartfelt comment and sincere condolences. 😌
!ENGAGE
Hi, Brad. I was just reading over this and I wanted to check in on you and see how you are doing. ❤️
Hi Denise. Doing pretty well. Thank you for asking. That is so sweet of you to do. The early mornings and nights are the worst. I quoted something recently in another post I wrote...
“Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.”
― Edna St. Vincent Millay
I think that sums it up very well. I’m crying a little less than last week, so things are looking up. Molly is recovering well too which helps. The weekend was a bit rough as expected. We are supposed to get Peppers ashes back tomorrow. I’m afraid of what I will feel. I think some more crying is on the way. Uggg.
Your a good friend for asking. Thank you ☺️
Oh, Brad. I know this is the worse time in your life. At least let us share some of worst of it with you.
You'll get the ashes and hold them while you cry. Its what any one of us would do. XO
I hear ya. Call me mr waterworks! Hate to be such a downer,😞 but I’ll probably post about it. Blogging about it has helped 20% and the other 80% has come from those like yourself. There to help share the pain. I am happy I have such an awesome support group. 😊
Blog about it. Like I said, any communication from you is welcome by all. There are so many on here that are animal lovers and even those that cannot relate to that - can relate to loss.
You are not a downer. I would wonder about you if you didn't feel the pain you do. You two will be in my prayers tonight and I hope tomorrow goes easy on your heart.
xoxo
ENGAGEtokens.I got tears in my eyes right now buddy. I am so sorry this has happened. I can see the sadness in both of your faces. Having a beloved pet pass is one of the most difficult things a person can go through. I'm so sorry man :(
Thank you and that means a lot. We definitely were heartbroken, but I would have been mad at myself if we did not take some final pictures. I wish the little guy was still around, but not in the condition he was in for the last few months. It's very difficult but we will make it through this. Molly has taken ill because of it (depression and Addison's Disease complications), but she is receiving great care and will bounce back just fine. Life sucks most of the time with little sprinkles of joy here and there.. My doggos definitely bring joy into our lives. Wouldn't have it any other way. Thank you for the support and always caring so much about my little ones. Give Nadi a real big hug for us all.
I'm so sorry. I had a similar experience almost 6 months ago to the day. It, too, was the worst pain I ever felt. It's always going to hurt, but it'll get better with time.
Thank you for the advice and support. I am also sorry that you had to go through that. I suppose that is the price of true love.
I am sorry for your loss. I know the feeling of losing a loved one. It's really heartbreaking especially if they have been part of your life all through out these years. It was really hard to accept at first. But in my mind when we lost our dog at least he wasn't suffering anymore.
I bet our dog Custo and Pepper at the Rainbow Bridge enjoying.
Stay strong!
I am quite sure that Pepper found Custo and they now having a blast together. Everything you are saying is true. I also am sorry for your loss. Thank you for being so supportive 😌
Lots of love to you and your wife. Pepper had the best life, was loved and gave so much love in return. ❤️
You couldn't be more right. He had a nice life.. we keep reminding ourselves of this. 14.5 years is not to shabby. I enjoyed every last one of them.
Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that guys. 😭😭
Maybe it's painful of what just happened but knowing he suffered that much. Please don't be mad if I chose to let him rest now. My heart melts upon hearing it because I know how pepper love that such amazing people. I hope you will be fine guys and stay strong. Prayers and love will be to pepper.
Awe what kind words you wrote. Thank you and we will miss him more than words can express. We also appreciate those prayers. You are very kind hearted 😌
Its pretty hard for me to write, I will miss him even though I never met him. Maybe he and my pet will meet up, who knows. Like @hidave said don't be surprised if you get a last in touch from Pepper. I know when I lost my dog a long time ago she let me know she was safe and she was happy. It was her bark, all dogs have their own bark.
I know this has been the toughest 4 days of your life in recent times. Just hold each other, don't let Molly mope about to much, she will miss him also.
Thank you for this comment. It made me smile. I haven't seen any signs yet but will keep my ears and eyes out for one. He did follow me everywhere. Molly has had a rough go of things. She actually had to be taken to the hospital as well. She has a thing called Addison's Disease which is affected by stress. She has also been suffering with depression having lost her 24 hour a day housemate. It's been a tough trying few weeks, but we will hold on to one another and love on each other until the heartache passes. Thanks man!
It is always hard on companion pets when they lose their buddy. Always looking for them even if they appeared to never get a long real well. It was that way with one of our dogs when we lost our cat, they didn't fight or anything, just kind of ignored each other. Then one day the dogs cat was gone he was depressed for a few weeks from the loss.
Absolutely whats happening at home. We'll give her the space she needs and the love she needs.. all will be well in time. Thanks again @bashadow!
My condolences Brad to you and your wife. Having lost beloved pets over the years, I know how sad and heartbroken you are with the loss of the beautiful Pepper. Our pets are every bit part of the family and their loss is felt as deeply.
Molly will miss her companion and also feel your emotions. It’s important to try to be positive around her.
Thanks for the piece about the Rainbow Bridge.
Much love to you and your family.💞
Absolutely without a doubt. Thank you so much for your heartfelt words, as they mean so much to us. We really have taken all of these beautiful comments and used them in healing. Molly is doing much better and has made a little progress since her vet visit the other day. We try to stay positive near her, but she always around so that makes grieving difficult in that respect.
I love the Rainbow Bridge poem.. You know what I mean because you have experienced this type of loss as well. I am also sorry for your loss of your dear friends. Never easy.
❤️🌹🌹
My condolences...
The loss of a friend is a very big pain.
But pain is for us.
And for our pets, going beyond the rainbow is getting rid of pain and suffering.
They feel good now. And they know how much we love them.
And, probably, they would not want us to cry and suffer.
And so that you do not upset your sweet Pepper, have a smile on your face when you look at his photo.
Strength to you!
Amen. We agree with you one hundred percent. It's been a few days and the emptiness is taking it's toll on each of us. I know it will get better and that I will smile again too when thinking of him and his little personality.
The pain will gradually subside.
Instead of pain, another feeling appears - you miss, you really miss ...
And so much is missing, their presence.
And the emptiness that nothing and no one can fill ...
In any case, so with me.
I wish you with all my heart that you will survive this loss easier than me!
And let our beloved pets always be light and joyful!
They feel good there!
Well said. I can not wait to get his ashes back, then maybe I can rest a little easier. We plan on putting photos of him in areas he used to spend time in. Maybe that will help us to heal as well.
I buried my sweets: 1 dog and 5 cats
in a quiet, beautiful, green place.
And I go to visit them ...
I say a big thank you to them for that happiness and laughter, for that joy and loyalty that they gave me.
I hung a house for birds on a tree that was nearby, so that they would sing songs to them.
Once you plan to post photos, then do it.
All desires that come from your heart - fulfill, without paying any attention to the opinion of others!
Since you do all this for him, and not just for you.
What is good for you is good for him.
And what is good for him is good for you!
Happiness to you!
Sounds beautiful.. a gentle quiet, bird filled garden setting. Just perfect!
I will post about it when we get that done. This weekend may be the best time for us to have some photos printed.
Thank you. 😊
I will be waiting for your publication!
All the best to you!
I didn't meet his friend Pepper, but reading the post I couldn't help but feel sad and want to cry. The reason is simple, we also have some very close dog friends, and with every word, I read I couldn't help but put myself in their shoes with the time of departure. Although one does not know who will go first.
Their souls are small but noble, and from what I read he was an excellent friend who will live in their memories.
This is very true. Well put my friend. "Departure" is inevitable for us all. Time is a very precious thing. Give your dog friends some love for me and Thank you for the support my friend.
You're welcome, my friend. Give your sister Molly a lot of love now that you feel the emptiness of Pepper's departure.
Now that I know about his story, I will try to give my little friends more attention and love.
I will and please do. 😊
I had to go back to look for these previous posts... Am so sad, but happy too that Pepper had wonderful last moments with his family. No words to convey this sadness... Take care, all of you and especially of Molly 🐾🧡
Thank you so much @ackhoo. Pepper was a one of a kind friend and left a large gap in our lives. The house is quiet and sad without his tiny energy here to fill it. He will sadly be missed. 😌
Oh I am so, so sorry. I always say the passing of a pet is the only downside to having one. I know it hurts.
That is a very truthful statement. Thank you for the sympathy and the support. I appreciate them both.
Aw man, I am so very sorry to hear the news. It is a pain like no other. Definitely great that you were able to have that last day doing all his favourite things; you know he certainly enjoyed it.
It isn't much, but I will lift a drink for him and you both tonight.
Thanks Victor! What did you have to drink?? Something tasty I bet. Thank you for being here and being so supportive. Some of those last hours, although stressful and sad, were a blessing to have. I will also raise a drink in his name, when I feel like drinking again that is.
It was Glenfiddich. It seemed appropriate, and I love the scotch. Hope you've been managing to make it through the week!
Oh 😋 yum. Yeah I like Glenfiddich but I also like The McCallen. Good choice and yes I am making it through. Not sure how. Thanks 😊
I am so sorry for your loss! I can't imagine how you must feel. I am deeply sad to read this and I wish you a lot of strenght to go through this difficult time. May Pepper rest in peace!
Your very kind and like I said before, the thoughtful words are a means of strength for us all. 😊
Heart breaking stuff 💔
😌 Thank you
Oh noooo this is so saaad
It is really terrible and part of loving I suppose.
Yeah, but don´t worry, dogs go directly to heaven.
😊 yes they do
Sorry for your loss, it would have been a terrible experience, I know how you feel.
It was and I always fear that most when falling in love with my babies. Thank you so much for the kindness and support 😌
You're welcome
😥💙
What a lucky dog to have landed in a home where the people loved him so much. Obviously you gave him a really good life. I'm sure there is some solace in knowing that.
I hope we did.. Our friends say we gave them better lives than some people.. we simply just loved them with all our heart.
Thank you for your compassion.
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I am SO VERY sorry to hear about pepper @bdmillergallery :( There really are no words fit for the loss of a loved one. As you know we went through it twice last year so I know well that ache. Sending you both lots of love and strength through such a heart breaking time.
Thank you Jaynie. Your words and knowing you know how it feels, is comforting. We appreciate all the love and strength you are sending us. 😌
I am sorry for your loss Brad and Melissa, I am happy that Pepper is in a better place and no longer suffering.
I know that it was very hard on you all, to experience this transition WITH him, but in the end, I think it will
Be better in that you have a more satisfying closure, one with a more positive note.
(If such a thing is possible) Be well @bdmillerygallery
I believe your right Jerry. It was the absolute worst thing I have ever experienced, but I think in the end it is what we needed and needed to experience for closure. Thank you for the kind words and support 😌
I love you my brother, and Brad, if I can help, always call on me. Send me a DM or anything. I'm here to help @bdmillergallery; it is what we are meant to be and do here on this ball of rock in space I believe.
Damn! So sad to know that pepper is gone.
I know.. It has been really a moving experience.
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Well done @bdmillergallery👍🙂
I'm so sorry for your loss. My heartfelt condolences! As a lifelong dog owner and "daddy" to an older dog, I know exactly how you're feeling right now. I dread the day I know will come, but I also know happiness will return and sadness will be replaced by sweet memories to be cherished forever. All the best to you and your family - Folker
Thank you Folker. I am looking forward to the day when those sweet memories make me smile again. I appreciate your kindness and sensitivity.
💔
😌 Thank you
What a heartfelt tribute. This is like the 3rd post I've checked this morning and I've just lost my mud.
It's really cool that you brought Pepper home to face his end together. It's a part of sharing space with a dog that comes to all, but never an easy thing.
I've just run out of words. Thanks for sharing this most intimate part of Pepper's life. It's important and precious.
This is so true. "Together" was a very key point. I am so glad we were all together for him and to supply him with everything he needed to help pass on.
Thank you for the kindness and the beautiful comment. 😌
I am sorry for your loss. Don't be surprised if pepper visits you one last time in the next few weeks. Either in a dream or just briefly in your home.
My thoughts are with you guys.
Thank you for the thoughtfulness and kindness during our time of need. I will be open to a moment if it may arise. It would be such a wonderful thing. 😌
I am so sorry. I know too well how you feel. I am so happy, though, that you had this one last day with him. xo
We are blessed to have had that time with him. Even though it was only 12 hours of time, we are grateful to have had it. Thank you for your support 😌
So sorry to hear about your lovely Pepper. X ❤
Thank you.. we appreciate all the love and support 😌 He will be greatly missed.
Very sorry for your loss! Please take care!
Thank you and we will. I appreciate your support 😌
Bye Pepper. I never knew you, but I could tell how much you were loved. 🥺
We took in two Conures this summer. I fell head over heels for those birds. Well, we ended losing both. One flew off and we couldn't get her to come down from the trees. The other had a terrible family accident.
Anyway. It crushed me both times. I still miss them and will never forget. So sorry for your loss.
Thank you for the nice comment. I am also so sorry for your loss. So sad to hear about that. 🙁 Maybe the one bird may return someday. I appreciate the support and know it will help us in out time of loss.
Oh brad and Melissa what a loss. I feel for you and just have no words. He is with your child and rest of loving family but the life here on earth will never be the same.
Take care and I vote 100% eventhough that feels weird in this situation but that’s what we do on hive
It does feel weird doing that.. but your right. Thank you for the supportive words and the kindness your giving us during this sadness. 😌
Thank you PHC Family