Lifestyle: "The weight of silence", by bonzopoe


Silence is one of the most powerful things there is, for better and for worse. In a couple it can be a sign of rapport, trust, intimacy, but between strangers it can be extremely uncomfortable, and it is also something whose weight varies between people.

In particular when I'm alone I don't like silence much, and generally if I'm not listening to music I like to have background noise. But when I am with other people, especially if they are strangers, silence does not bother me and I even prefer it. The problem arises when one of those strangers is the opposite and wants to talk.


I consider myself a nice person, and I'm not saying it presumptuously, my work shaped me in that sense and became a part of me, and I can have superficial talks with anyone about the classic topics: the weather, the news of the moment, etc, but when a stranger wants to go further and does not settle for that couple of minutes of casual chat and begins to question you or tell you about his life without your asking, I prefer silence a thousand times.

Small talk is not my thing, I do not get it, period. I can have talks for hours on topics that interest me with someone who shares that interest, but talking trivia with strangers no, in those cases I prefer silence, I feel comfortable with it, but there are people who are totally the opposite. There are people who have to talk to the one in the seat next to them, the one in front of the row, etc., to feel comfortable, and who are very uncomfortable with the silence.


Today, when I arrived from a trip, the UBER driver who took me from the bus station to my house was one of these people. A very friendly and helpful person, but one of those who cannot avoid making a conversation and what is worse, they do not know when to give up, which is very uncomfortable for me because it leads you to be somewhat curt to send the message of "thank you for your interest but I'm not in the mood to chat. "

And that a complete stranger begins to ask you about your life, when all you want is to get home, it is not exactly the most pleasant thing, and much less when he does not settle for short and friendly answers, but begins to ask you questions that require explanations that you are not interested in giving.

And why did you decide to dedicate yourself to teaching? Why don't you practice the profession while teaching? How do the students treat you? Among others, were the questions of this man, who although nice and very kind , he didn't know when to stop.


Every time I finished answering his questions as briefly and as nicely as possible, taking care not to give him the opportunity to do more, I started looking out the car window, trying to tell him in non-verbal language that I didn't want to continue talking, but after a few minutes of silence that tasted good to me, he returned with another volley of questions.

In the end, I had no choice but to chat with him the rest of the trip, since the other alternative was to openly tell him that I didn't want to talk and to stop asking me questions that were irrelevant.

I was very struck by how his face changed. Her smile broadened and I would say that he even looked relieved, while I, on the other hand, was not very comfortable with the situation, but I resigned myself and tried to relax. Fortunately it was a journey of only about 15 minutes. I doubt I would have handled it the same if it had been my travel companion for a couple of hours.


I finally got home, and I was able to unpack and rest, now in silence, and I couldn't help but reflect on the situation and acknowledge, once again, that there are people for whom silence weighs too much and they need to talk so as not to feel uncomfortable with people.

I am the opposite and I have nothing against these types of people, in fact my maternal grandmother was like that, every time I accompanied her somewhere, she always ended up talking to everyone, maybe that's why even though I run away from this type of people, when I have no other choice, I prefer to tolerate them than to be rude to them, since as my grandfather used to say, being polite does not take away from being brave.

But since we are here in confidence, dear reader, if one day we meet, and you are one of those people, do not take me the wrong way if I do not chat with you lovingly if we do not have common interests, believe me it is not you, it is me. .. and silence.

©bonzopoe, 2021.


Thank you very much for reading this post and dedicating a moment of your time. Until next time and remember to leave a comment.



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