From time to time I've been part of one of those discussions where we ended up talking about different challenges in life, as well as our greatest ongoing challenges.
As part of the simple process of being human, we encounter all sorts of challenges along the way. What sort of challenges have you encountered? What was the greatest challenge? Did you manage to overcome this challenge? Are you still battling it? Will it ever end?
For some people it might be quitting smoking. For others it might be giving up some toxic habit like gambling. Or the fear of public speaking. Or maybe you are healing from PTSD resulting from trauma.
Anyway, one of the things I've come to realize over the years this that I have relatively few “traditional” vices in my life. Moreover, most of my vices have tended to be psychological.
Maybe the process gets easier with age, because I have grown older I have become more able to see the patterns that have repeated across the 60 years or so I have been alive.
As part of that, I've gradually recognized that my greatest challenge to overcome is neither glamorous nor particularly interesting, nor even anything most people would think of as a particular challenge.
But ever since I was quite young — maybe a child even — I have battled a natural tendency to fall into a state of resignation whenever something adverse comes my way. It's not anger, it's not depression, it's quite simply resignation; I just have to deal with it, and fighting it is a waste of time and energy.
In some ways, in the manner of Eeyore from the classic Winnie the Pooh stories, I tend to very readily sit back and look at a situation and think ”this is simply how things are and this is as good as it's going to get,” and then I just deal with that from there without putting up much of a fight or arguing with anyone.
A long time ago, one of my therapists insisted that this was a result of my feeling powerless. But she withdrew that statement after a while, recognizing from an assortment of tales I related that I definitely did not feel powerless. I don't think so either!
On of my close friends from many years ago insisted that my mindset was that of a — in his words — ”brutal realist.” Add to that that I naturally tend to be on the lazier end of the energetic scale, I tend to look at situations, assess the amount of effort that would be required to make a fuss and change them significantly, and most of the time determine that I'm not willing to give that energy... as a result of which I fall into this state of resignation that ”this is simply how things are going to be.” And then I just deal with that.
However, that's not necessarily the best way to live your life!
Hence the title of this post then it's the most challenging sensation for me to ”overcome.” And that has been true for a long time.
So how do you overcome this kind of indifference? Or is indifference even the right word for it? Again, I'm not sure; I keep leaning more towards realism; I'm unlikely to take on a "fight" I don't stand a significantly realistic chance of coming out on top of.
As a college girlfriend once remarked — not long before we parted ways — "I guess I shouldn't count on you to vanquish dragons for me!"
But let's get back to the "overcoming" bit.
So often, I find myself literally having to pick myself up phone my shirt collar and kick myself in the butt to actually get up and put effort into something that my natural inclination is to resign myself to as ”that's just how life happens.”
What's really at work here is that I have an extremely high tolerance for ”making do” with whatever is put in front of me without really quibbling about it. Phrased slightly differently, if I can get ”sufficient” with pretty much no effort, or ”excellence” with a lot of effort, in the vast majority of cases I'm just going to pick ”sufficient,” and be done with it.
As I sit here writing these words, it seems more than slightly ironic that writing is one of the very few areas in my life where I'm not willing to simply accept ”good enough!” It's a bit of a mystery!
Might be why I enjoy writing, as much as I do!
So as I bring this to a close, core to my lifelong observations of humanity is that a lot of people have many things in their lives that they are highly passionate about. I look at my own life and sadly have to conclude that there are very few things in my life that I have felt highly passionate about.
And to just illustrate how easily I drop into ”resignation,” my inclination is to look at that statement and simply say ”just like people have a wide range of foot sizes, and somebody has to have size 16 feet, similarly people have a wide range of passions and I just happen to be one of the ones had fit at the size 16 foot end of the business!”
"If the shoe fits..." and all that...
Thanks for reading, and have a great week ahead!
How about YOU? What are some of the greatest challenges you've had in trying to overcome your own habits and idiosyncrasies? Is it an ongoing process, or are you done? Comments, feedback and other interaction is invited and welcomed! Because — after all — SOCIAL content is about interacting, right? Leave a comment — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!
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Created at 20211128 17:01 PDT
0419/1663
There is a difference between resignation and acceptance. on the one hand is trying to endure something that is uncomfortable and affects your emotions. One side is understanding how it works and realizing it's completely natural and doesn't negatively affect you
I think I have just never felt moved to take on and fight against things where I felt pretty sure my efforts would have no effect, anyway. Better to just let it be.
To be an indifferent and resigned person. Your article and your photos are excellent. The habit that I must overcome is negativity. Thank you very much for sharing.
Negativity can be a tricky one to overcome... seeing the good, rather than the bad, in a situation.