If she were still alive, today — August 11th — would have been my auntie's 114th birthday.
No, she was not my "great-great" or even "great" aunt, she was just my aunt. Born on August 11th, 1904 in Copenhagen, Denmark, she experienced two world wars, the Great Depression and watched the world become "technologized" as the 20th century unfolded.
Somehow, I always end up taking a moment to remember her, on her birthday.
My aunt's house, circa 1990, scan from a paper photo
I spent many happy times with her, both as a kid and as an adult... in many ways, she offered me a point of "belonging" in a world where I often felt cast adrift; rootless.
I often stayed with her when my parents took of on one of their nomadic trips overseas; I almost always stayed with her when I'd return to Denmark from overseas... first when I'd come home from being at boarding school in the UK, later when I'd come home from college in the US.
Although she was, in many ways, the "matriarch" of my extended family, she always lived alone. It wouldn't surprise me if I spent more time with her than any other person... but that's speculation.
One of the gifts she "gave" me was the understanding that it was really OK that I didn't feel very social, and that it was OK that I preferred my own company... that there was nothing wrong with me, on that account.
She was also one of the few people in our family who found it a positive that I really enjoyed writing and had artistic leanings. As such, she encouraged my creativity.
She lived a very interesting life, traveling quite a bit when she was young and later becoming one of Denmark's first female executives, while also holding several patents in the areas of industrial recycling and reclamation.
Mostly, though, she just enjoyed her quiet life in the 1939 summer house that had been the family cottage until it became fully hers when my paternal grandmother died in 1965.
Aside from the value of a slow life and just "being quiet with yourself," perhaps what I most learned from my Aunt was a type of radical self-reliance and problem solving I have not seen in many people. "Roadblocks," whether needing to move a heavy appliance up four flights of stairs by yourself or literally a massive tree across the road, were simply puzzles to be solved in Ulla's world.
Her approach to life taught me how to pause and think things through rather than "freak out" when something untoward would happen... a skill set that stands me in good stead, to this day.
She also taught me to neither believe nor reject what the infamous "they" of the greater world might say... but instead to investigate the facts and piece together the truth for myself — often by reading between the lines and filling in blanks by paying attention to what was NOT being said.
Like most events in our families, birthdays were centered around food. Not necessarily a lot of people, but a lot of food.
My Aunt had her very specific birthday dinner menu that she looked forward to, every year. We could always count on mussels steamed in a white wine garlic broth with lots of crispy warm bread for dipping, followed by her Danish stovetop roasted chicken with new potatoes from the garden and gravy, and then her "Othello Cake" — a pretty uniquely Danish layer cake — for dessert.
As part of the whole "deliberate life" thing, these meals often took several hours to eat and fully enjoy.
In an odd dichotomy, my Aunt was always fascinated by all the new technologies, while at the same time expressing regret that it was causing people to "speed up" to the point where they no longer seemed to have the ability to pause and simply enjoy the simple pleasures of life.
My Aunt Ulla made it to the ripe old age of 93 and passed away quietly in the fall of 1997 while having her afternoon nap after a good lunch with one of my cousins who had been visiting for the day. In that strange symmetrical way of the Universe, her death was simple, low key, no drama and quiet.
Another 23 years have passed, and I still fondly remember her quiet ways, her ingenuity and her good advice.
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Created at 20200811 20:49 PDT
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That's exactly how I would like to take off from this plane. Simple, low key, no drama and quiet.
And if I not sound so demanding, sooner than reach 93yo. And if I not sound too ambitious, take off from the very same lovely 'launch pad' in Denmark from which your aunt left this planet to melt down again with the greater universe.
I'm very glad you have had such memorable, remarkable and adorable aunt near to you in your younger days. :)
I hope to do the same thing, myself... simple, quick and without much drama or fanfare. I'm not particular about my age at the time of departure, I just hope that I am in good health and not confined to be taken care of because I can't take care of myself. That was one of the lovely things about my aunt... other than a daily phone call from a couple of family members to make sure all was well, she lived alone and took care of herself and her house till the very end.
If I actually ended up "launching" from the old summerhouse, that would just be a lovely bonus!
Great photos and her house looks amazing. I would love to have a look inside that!
Your memories of her personality as the family matriarch remind me of the matriarch in a tv series set in Denmark called The Legacy. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Legacy_(TV_series)
She was creative, open minded, warm and loving too, which sounds just like you Aunt.
Great post thank you and this Othello cake...hmmm... I'm going to have to check that out for sure! 😃
It's very simple and slightly rustic on the inside; I always feel very calm and "at home" when I go there to visit.
Although I do try to stay up with Danish TV, I haven't watched that particular series, but now I'll have to look it up!
Yes it definitely looks like a real home! What year did you say it was built?
Oh and yes I highly recommend the The Legacy. I really enjoyed it!
What lovely memories! She sounds like she was a wonderful person to have in your life. Love her cottage!
She did have a profound impact on my life, in some ways more than my own parents, at least in the positive sense of the word.
The house is very special, and thankfully it is still in the family so we can go back to visit!
That is SO cool the house remained in the family! :))
Yes, I love the fact that those pictures were high quality resolution. The water falls. So refreshing to me. Thanks for sharing
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Ulla sounds like a wonderful woman. Anyone who has had someone who is as strong and accepting as her in their life is very lucky! She sounds similar to a next door neighbor I had when I was growing up. Mrs. Werkhaven. She raised four daughters alone through the Great Depression. She was tough, a world traveler, and taught me many valuable lessons that I still use today. This was a great memorial to your Aunt.