Hello everyone, hope it has been a great day for you, mine has been really fun I must say. I did say I will be dropping my day 27th post alongside my day 26th post today. The theme for today's post is, A DIFFICULT TIME IN YOUR LIFE.
Hmmmm! You know, since I started this challenge, whenever I'm trying to see what I'm writing on for each day, my eyes always meet with day 27, and I must say, I feel like avoiding today's post, but I just don't want to avoid it. So let's do this guys, hope y'all will stay with me till the end? Alright guys, now that we are seated, please use your seat belt, because we are going back in time. We are visiting JUNE 4TH, 2007.
A DIFFICULT TIME IN MY LIFE
Once upon a time (in 2006 back then in Lagos, Nigeria), all I know and live for, was my mom, a beautiful woman I must add. She fell sick and she was really struggling with her health. Like different hospitals, different medications and she was not looking any better. Her little boy (me), was about writing his first certificate examination, she would fake being okay so I don't distract my thoughts with what's wrong with her, she made sure I study that period a lot so I can past my Primary School Leaving Certificate Examination. I did pass the exam and one day, she told me, she felt it's time I move to Delta State, Nigeria to stay with my dad, so I can complete my education there. Even when she was trying to paint a beautiful picture to me, I saw what she was hiding and told her I don't want to leave her side. She told me I have to be with my dad, so I can know my dad's people, well, I told her I will go on one condition, That she would have to stay strong for me because I would come see her every holiday, well, she agreed.
I moved to Delta State, 2006, got registered into my secondary school, well, as a young man missing his mama, I talk to her everyday on the phone. She'd tell me about how much she miss playing ludo with me and how much she miss me asking questions whenever she's sewing on her machine, and before the call end, she'd advice I always study and stay a good boy. 1st term, 2nd and 3rd term holiday came and I visited as we discussed. But when I visited 3rd term holiday, I fear for what I saw. My mama wasn't healing, she wasn't getting any better, I spent my 3rd term holiday on her bed side, it was as if my body could feel everything that was going to happen. I knew she wanted me to move to Pop's because she knew she wasn't getting any better, she didn't want me to experience what she was going through, but I'm her child, I was far, but every single day, I feel her pain.
Fast forward time to 2007, first term in my new class, JSS2, close to my exam period, my step older brother called my dad, dad was on the dinning table eating, I was in the verandah turning petrol into the generator (I have one gift, I can decipher a conversation really quick even though I can't hear the next person on the line), dad's response was, when did it happen? no we can't tell him now, he his studying for his exams, that will affect him, don't worry, I will tell him but not now. Right there, I knew what had happen, I was sad, because I wouldn't see her coming holiday, I went to my room sad, I remembered not eating that night, and my dad was worried, so he called my step brother again, this time, his conversation was, I thought I told you I will tell him myself? what do you mean by I didn't tell him? How come he his acting strange over here? Sorry, I thought you did, meaning he already knows, but how? I just have to say it to him then and he ended the call.
The following day, after returning from school, that evening, my dad called myself, his wife and my step siblings, he said so many things (but nothing was staying in my head, because I know where he is going), finally he said, OROMENA (my native name), your mom past on yesterday, she's now in a better place and I know she's watching you. Tears dropped from my eyes, I cried so loudly, pain and anger can be seen from my facial expression. I didn't sleep that night. That day changed a lot about me, first was my step elder brother Owen, who was like a mentor to me, now my mom, I told myself, it's just me now. I know what you are thinking, but you have other siblings, why say that? well, I have never or maybe because I have never let anyone love me, the way those two persons loved me. My grades that period were terrible. It was difficult for me to find myself again, what got me pained (I have never told anyone this), family members decided I should stay back because of my exam, I was not there when she was buried, that even increased my anger, to my dad, and every single family member from my mom's side. Till date, because of that I never saw where she was buried, and I have never try to go see it. This is one pain I never let go of, folks always said I will heal with time, but as I write this, I still feel the pain I was feeling from June 4th 2007.
I think I will conclude with this, people don't know the outcome of their decision while making it, if it's good or bad, the decision of not letting me see her body one last time, created a scar in my heart, I can be the sweet little boy everyone know, but no one, I mean not even one single person have been able to make decisions for me since that day, because, I started to rebel whenever they do that, I stopped being the all funny son everyone know and become more reserved, I tell people (both older and young), their wrongs without caring if they feel disrespected. Basically, I changed! And it was difficult growing up, but I never tell or bother anyone about how I feel inside.
Hey, guys, are you still with me? Yeah! It was difficult for me to write this I must say, but I think HIVE is the best place to save this, I have forgive myself and forgive those that made those decisions for me, and I have been telling myself all the time, **MOM LEFT THE EARTH, BUT SHE LIVES IN ME**, That is why I told myself, she will return as my first child and first daughter, and I will call her ALERO, the name she was known as. I think the next person I can show such amount of love that is not myself, will be my first daughter. There you have it, a difficult time in my life that I still live with.
Thank you for reading 🙏
Thank you for Visiting my Blog 👍
I really do felt your emotion (pain) while reading through. I love my mother so much as well and I don't want to imagine losing her.
It must have really hurt bad not seeing her body before it was buried. I understand your change but anyways, you are right that your mother isn't here but she lives in you. Your daughter should get so much affection that you have for your mother. If she asks why you so much love her, then share this story to her.
Thanks bro, I definitely will share with her some day. Thanks for the nice words.🙏
Two tears rolled down my cheeks, I have my mother alive, but my father is no longer, then I can speak on my day 27 of him. I loved reading you.
Sorry about your dad. Thanks for reading mine, I'm glad you love it.
omg this is so hard to read, I'm so sorry about your mom, I can not even imagine that, it wasn't their choice to make! But things turned out like this, I don't even know what to say because it's so hard
Thanks reading though, and thanks for the kind words
Hmmm, guy before deciding to put these words down you I know you would have gotten deep in thoughts, as I did feel your plight while reading through. It would have been very hard carrying this burden in your heart all these while and I know you are now relieved as you've shared it with us, course a problem shared is a problem half solved, take heart dear, I really admire your courage; it has kept you till today.
Thanks bro, it was difficult typing this, half way in this write up, I cleared everything, I thanks to undo, I was able to get them back. Thank you
It is well 😊
anyone have the power to choose what you can feel or not. Losing our favorite people is not easy, we have to live with it and trying to not get crazy hehe..
A difficult time and a sad history, but i'm happy that you could share it.
Hugs!!
Thanks dear, I'm happy I could share with you guy, that hug is really needed right now, thanks
Oh, dear friend, I did pay a lot of attention to this your great Post...
So sorry for your lost, too. Well, everyone has their own story which seemed to change their life somehow. And thank God you were able to survive and live strong through the years, I feel for you bro. And please always look forward for the better future ahead. I have my own story which has shaped me too. Hopefully we'll always continue to make it through and survive strongly...
Stay blessed my dear friend, @officialuroga
Thanks bro, we just have to keep surviving. Thanks for the kind words.