Greetings fellow musical Hivers 🤘
Hey hey everyone 😁 It's been a while again since my last post and as previously stated, longer absent periods will be expected for the time being while I re-establish my routine and priorities.
In fact, today's post is all about how I've been learning to take things at my own tempo and all about how I discovered the key belief that was influencing my behaviour and consequently, my afterthoughts and feelings when I don't respect my rhythm. In short, I'll share a bit about mental health and my personal experience.
As for today (note to self - cosy sunday night here! 😊) I'm getting that feeling of letting words flow, let's see where it will lead us, shall we dear reader?
Source
Respecting my pace 🎸
For those of you who don't know, Three Tune Tuesday was created by @ablaze and as he explains 👇
The jist is as follows
Every Tuesday I'm going to share 3 songs which I like to listen to and I invite your feedback in the comments below. Better still, why not have a blast of your own Three Tune Tuesday and mention me in the post and I'll come and find the post and upvote it. It'll be a sweet way for us all to discover new music. You'll also be in with a chance of winning a prize.
With that being said, today's choices have everything to do with time, tempo, rhythm or whatever you wanna call it. Having been dealing with depression, taking the step to take care of my mental health with psychotherapy has been essential for my growth this year, especially in the last 2 months.
Having to think about my behaviours and thoughts in a detailed, understanding and compassionate way is a lot harder than I thought initially. It takes time, effort, consistency, willingness to understand, forgive and heal. But most of all, strength to face whatever stuff you might be too scared to admit.
As for me, I've come to the conclusion, my automatic thought in a lot of different situations are quite simple and that is - I don't have time.
Source
You might be asking yourself, how does thinking "I don't have time" can influence anything? Or on how it influences my daily life? Well, let me give you some examples dear reader 😊.
- I don't have time to rest because I have ___________ (intro chore, task) to do.
- I don't have time to lunch because I might ____________ (intro some event I can't control, traffic, accident) and be late for my appointment.
- I should be doing _________ (intro some task, chore, responsability) instead of ___________ (something I enjoy) because then I won't have enough time.
Writing it now so clearly it even seems strange and weird to me, really 😆😆. It actually is a very helpful way for myself to see how deep and unaware I was about these automatic thoughts. More importantly, how these thoughts were contributing to the degradation of my mental health. After all, I've always been my most strict judge. (note to self - GUILTY! Yah, more about that later)
You see, dear reader, this constant way of thinking has led me straight to a sort of burnout. Not long ago, a friend of mine explained to me how depression can happen to anyone in a most brilliant way, that I will now share with you.
Picture your brain as being a computer. At some point of your life it can have a major bug or critical error that makes the system freeze and need a repair or reset. In a way, that is like saying a big sad/unfortunate event may have happened at some point of your life that leads you to a depressive path, like losing someone you love for example.
Another way would be, if you open your browser and open 40 different tabs at the same time, it can make the system shut down or freeze. It's the same as saying that you have so many things on your mind that the brain can't handle it anymore and therefore it just shuts down.
For me, thinking constantly that I didn't have enough time for my responsibilities or tasks of the day has led me to a constant feeling of guilt whenever I try to simply do something I want or enjoy. All the damn time, guilt is there dragging me to a spiral of anxiety and restlessness. Definitely, too many open tabs shot me down to the lowest I've ever been in my life.
Finally, that leads me to the most important conclusion of all, that I've been struggling to get since May: If I do something I want instead of a task, what does that make me? If I leave a task undone, what's the worst thing that can happen? Please bear in mind, that all of what I'm writing, hopefully in a logical and rational way, took me 3 months to figure out 😅😅(note to self - this will be important for my conclusion).
This week, I finally got my answer... My core belief is that if I don't do all my responsibilities I'll be worthless and therefore, people won't like me. So, very simply put, it's all about external validation 🙃 (note to self - oh, I have to discuss this conclusion with my psychotherapist!).
Now that I've been working on the root of the problem, I'll continue in the next section by sharing 3 songs of another band that helps me to get in a chilled, slow and relaxed state (note to self - Oh finally! That's enough feelings 🙄).
I hope it helps you too, dear reader 😍!
My 3 song recommendation 😎
Gorillaz is a band that was introduced to me by my boyfriend (note to self - obviously! 😝) and I immediately loved their vibe! Another thing I just love about these guys are their funny video clips, as the band members always appear in the form of animated cartoons 😂.
As a genre surfer, for me Gorillaz surpasses everything I would ever ask for in a song! They have so many different rhythms and influences in a single song that it's really hard to place them in a category of music genre, which only makes me love them even more 😁!
Don't believe me? Listen for yourself.😉🎧
1 - Humility - Gorillaz
2 - Feel Good Inc. - Gorillaz
3 - Clint Eastwood - Gorillaz
Final considerations 🙌
That's it from me today dear reader! This time I wanted to bring Three Tune Tuesday to the Med-Hive community for multiple reasons. First, this is a post about mental health and I wanted to share a little bit about my personal experience. Not only that, but @med-hive is a recent community where one can share all sorts of things related to health and also an ongoing project to build a database of valuable information shared by health professionals.
It's been a while since participating actively in the community so I thought of taking this opportunity to bring them some visibility 😊. So, I'll be very happy if this post gets them a bit more attention from my fellow and wonderful #ttt posters 🙏🙏.
Even though this is not a scientific post, my hope is that maybe it will help someone out there that might be going through a similar path than mine 😊.
There is light at the end of the tunnel. Always!
Take care! See you soon 👋👋
Disclaimer - I do not own the copyright to any of these songs and the main purpose of this post is educational. The goal is to share talents and tunes with Hive community and Music community, thus expanding our musical horizons.
Please consider supporting the artists you like in any way you can.
You're one of the good ones @blackdaisyft, no doubt about it. Even, within your own mental health difficulties you are kind enough to share them with others so that someone else might benefit from your wise words.
You are very self aware and wise beyond your years and I'm so glad that you have figured out some of the ways you tick, we all have these little idiosyncrasies and behaviours that can be innate or learned,but being self aware and kind to yourself is a brilliant attribute that will hopefully help you.
I'm most certainly a people pleaser and a bit of a perfectionist and like to be liked, which means a snide comment or a perception that someone doesn't like me can really affect me and messiness drives me nuts or at least used to. I've learned to accept that not everyone is going to like me and nit everyone is as tidy and organised as me and that's just fine. That's up to them.
Now to the tunes!! Great shout with the Gorillaz, they are class... Did you ever listen to Damon Alburn's first band Blur... Another great 90s band..
Thank you so much for your kind words @ablaze! And especially for taking the time to read my post as I'm sure you've been very busy with so many entries on #ttt, which is great but also hard work and effort from your part 😊 I'm most grateful to you 🙏
I agree with you, we all have our little ticks and twicks that makes certain stuff affect us more deeply. We are all here to learn how to deal with it better I think 😊 Thank you for sharing your experiences!
About Blur at first I didn't recognise them but after listening to the first song I did! I think it's probably the only one I know because the second one didn't ring a bell. I quite like their vibe as well 👌
I am so happy that you have taken this time out for yourself to heal your body, and to restore your sense of wellbeing. We could all take a leaf out of your book. Depression is a delicate subject... it is very real and I am sorry that you are going through this experience. I know what depression feels like as I have been artificially induced into a depressive state by specialists performing tests on me when I was in my late teens circa 19/20 ish... it is the worst I have ever felt in my entire life outside of grief. In fact, I think depression is worse than grief. With grief, you have something to hold on to; you know why you feel the way you do, and you can work through it with others around you... with depression, you are often just there, alone in your feelings, overcome... not being able to understand where the source of all the heaviness and despair is coming from... It sounds like you have made massive strides, my lovely. You know where you are at and you know what you need. Don't allow anything to pressure you into a direction or activity that is not comfortable for you. You create the rules, you set the limits 😍 Much love, always xx !LUV !ALIVE !LADY (oh and before I forget - great choice of songs too hehe and those animated video clips are really cool!!!)
You are so right dear Sam! It's a profound desperation and I really spent a lot of time wondering where did it came from before I took the step to ask for help... It were dark times indeed, the worst I've ever felt in my life 😌
I think so too! I'm very happy about it 😁 As my therapist says "it's to value", therefore I'm very grateful 🙏 I'm still working on trying to respect, although it's hard not to fall back into old habits and saying yes to everything and everyone hehhe but at least I'm realising what I need and that in itself is a great step towards the right direction 😊
Much !LUV back and thank you so much for taking the time to read my thoughts and listening to the tunes 🤗 I'm glad you liked them ❣️
Yes... just set your boundaries and limits within what you feel is possible... and then protect them. !LUV
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Thank you so much for the encouragement! 🙏🙏🙏 It's most appreciated 😊
This is so me too that I ended up burning out quickly because all my daily life has been “I have much work to do today and there's no time ” and before I know it, my brain is already affecting me that it really do affect my eyes and head too until I just decide to pause everything saying “I just can't and wouldn't kill myself ”. There is a need for us to keep monitoring ourselves so we don't end up having mental health.
I also want to believe these songs from Gorillaz helped you feel good and work on yourself more. Seriously, they put in lots of work to those songs, especially having animations to spice it up too. I love the performance too.
I'm sorry to hear you also struggle with these thoughts, it can be really hard to manage... But I'm glad you found yourself some strategies to keep yourself and your well-being in check 😊
They do help me a lot yes! 😁 Glad you aso enjoyed them heheh
Take care and have a lovely weekend my friend!
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I totally appreciate the work you've done to identify your core belief and I would say.. ONLY three months? Well done you! Have you tried EFT tapping? That's an interesting one to access beliefs too, I find it valuable in the throes of anxiety! Thanks for sharing... Burnout, mental exhaustion and anxiety are all too familiar to me.
I love the Gorillaz . Imo they have written some very PERFECT tunes .. great choices and I'm glad they chill you out too.
Thank you sweetheart for taking the time to read my story 😊 I higly appreciate it!
Thank you! It really seems a long time to figure out this stuff but I'm learning that - everything in its due time. I never heard of EFT tapping! I just had to google what that is 😆 It really seems interesting ^^ I shall digg more into it 😉
I'm so sorry to hear you are familiar with these feelings... It's not easy for sure but we can get stronger everyday! 😌💪
Uhhuhh another Gorillaz fan 😁😁😁 I do agree with you, it's just perfection 😍
Take care and be gentle to yourself 🤗
EFT is great, it really helps you get to the heart of what's wrong and settles your system down to deal with it. I can only imagine what it's like with a therapist...I've only done it via a book at home!
For sure! I shall digg deeper into this 👌👌👌 Which book this you read btw? 😊
this one
The Tapping Solution https://g.co/kgs/aGULui
Thank you! Reading is a hobby I really enjoy ^^
Awesome band! Gorillas is one of those classics that you can appreciate and has some pretty deep lyrics!
Oh if they do! Really strong and powerful messages there 😉 Thank you for listening ^^
Hi Daisy, take the time you need. And I hope you won't let yourself be pressured by what is causing you distress.🤗
As for today's tunes. My son likes Gorillaz. And these days, he showed me a cover of one of their songs, which I think is great, maybe you will like it.
😄😊🤗
Hello there @coquicoin 😊 So happy you stoped by! I'm working hard in allowing myself the time I need and hopefuly getting better each day at it 🙏
I like your son's taste 👌👌👌 That cover is really interesting! Liked the latino vibe there although I must say I prefer the original song heheh
Thank you so much for sharing it with me ❣️ Have a lovely weekend ^^
Hi Daisy!
I'm glad to hear that you are making an effort to give yourself the time you need. :)
I also like the original version of the song better, but the cover with the Latin vibes is interesting.
Have a wonderful weekend 🤗🌻
This is most welcome @blackdaisyft .. honestly when I saw the topic I had first thought it was mistake but reading down I started winding in...
Amazing..
Mental health issues are everyday matters to discuss. Burnout and time management are very common issues as well. Here on hive and beyond. People keep having that problem of balancing the chunk of ideas they have with the seemingly small time they can find. Most of the time had been occupied by other things, weighing what is important and what isn't.. so many sides
And hey.. being a music person as well.. I should be joining the #ttt to.. hehe..
Thanks so much..
Hello @jaydr 😊 Hehehe I understand why you would think that 😆 It was a bit different but I hope it can help others that might be struggling with similar feelings ^^
It is hard but I'm glad I have this wonderful community to share and get support from 🙏 I am very grateful!
I would love to see a post from you on #ttt! Look forward to it 😍
Thank you for taking the time to read through 🤗
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