I was born into — and grew up in — what was very much an "industrial-technological" family.
The expectation of every new member of each generation was to go forth and make your mark and become some kind of leader in your chosen field.
Of course, part of that "life training" included the lesson that you needed to get ahead not only by being competitive, but by at times being ruthless and willing to push others out of the way in order to reach your objectives.
Nature vs. Nurture?
Many might read that and think to themselves "Yeah, so? That's just human nature!"
Be that as it may, I learned very early on that this kind of aggressive ambition really did not come naturally to me. And — in fact — it felt wrong, in many ways.
Even so, I followed an educational path to support my upbringing... slowly going through the motions towards becoming a "Captain of Industry" (or something like it); a Leader of some sort.
It was many years before I learned certain fundamental tenets of psychology and the human mind... specifically the idea that some people are by nature "cooperative," rather than "competitive." And "Leadership" is not for everyone.
A Lovely Soup!
The human psyche — and the overall human experience — is really a lovely "soup," in the sense that there truly is a unique path for everyone.
And yet?
We are often trapped by the paradigms we grew up with and were trained for.
I was in my early 30's and working in the IT industry when I realized that something was terribly "wrong" with the way I was approaching life.
I was doing quite well for myself as a usability specialist and technical writer, but the pressure was mounting for me to accept a "Management" position. Problem was, I had no interest in "managing;" I just wanted to work with users in the labs and do my writing.
RESPONDING is in my Nature...
Now, it might sounds simple enough to simply declare that I wasn't interested in "leadership," but I gradually learned that it actually goes deeper than that.
Some people are "Creative Geniuses" who have a natural knack for inventing The Next Great Thing out of empty space. I, on the other hand, suck royally at that!
What I tend to do is "see something" that already exists and then respond by thinking about what we can do with that purely conceptual thing.
Some years ago, I realized this even manifests in my 40-odd years as a writer.
In all my years — try as I might — I have never been able to write a novel. The thought of having to "dream up" characters and create an original story line feels way above my head! Meanwhile, my tens of thousands of articles and blog posts basically amount to "coming across an existing idea and EXPLORING and DEVELOPING it further."
RESPONDING Isn't Necessarily FOLLOWING!
It would be tempting to look at the above and declare "Oh, you're just a mindless sheep who follows a leader and takes instructions," but that would actually be wrong.
I just don't have much of the spark of creation; I see that in others and RESPOND by being able to see how to bring that to some kind of concrete fruition. Which means I've always worked well with artists and creative geniuses!
Interestingly enough, many highly creative people are either not particularly capable of making their ideas into tangible reality, or they are not that interested or driven to do so, so we have a nice synergy going.
Short version, I could never dream it up, but if someone explains the idea, I can functionally manifest it.
And that's quite different from blindly following.
So, Why These Thoughts?
Here in the industrialized west — and specifically in North America — we tend to revere "Leadership," perhaps to an unhealthy degree.
If you don't want to lead, you're perceived — at best — to be an underachiever.
For many people, that actually leads to life feeling like it is out of balance. I have spent much of my life actively avoiding leadership because even the idea makes me feel unbalanced... and out of step with my essential self. But only you get to decide whether or not you're an "underachiever." Chances are, that's someone else's box you're not fitting into, not your own!
So I write these words as a gentle reminder that your own inner sense of self probably knows more about what you could ideally be doing in the world!
Thanks for reading!
How about YOU? Does leadership come naturally to you, or does it feel forced? Were you raised in an environment that taught you to strive for leadership? When — if at all — did you start to question that paradigm? Comments, feedback and other interaction is invited and welcomed! Because — after all — SOCIAL content is about interacting, right? Leave a comment — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!
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Created at 20201106 10:48 PST
0132/1359
Good post sir!
I've tended to become a leader in many things (never really wanted the role, but found myself in it).
I seem to be good at it - but have no ambition for it, and it turns me into a prize twat (yes, even more....!)
That's one of the main reasons that I consciously walked away from 'all that'.
Downscaled, became debt free, and lived a simpler life - one where I was happier.
There is a part of me that misses that side of me, but the cost of indulging that side far outweighs the benefits.
I use my competitive nature on the internet instead!... and love a good argument - you might have noticed? lol... (it's an 'intellectual competitive exercise', I suppose).
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This comes at an important time for me as I step into a community leadership program run by the local council. I've been 'pushed' into it - or gently urged - by a friend who is also doing it, and sees my passion for particular community ventures (based around food resilience and community mental health through workshops and so on) and wants us to put that into action, to manifest it.
Now despite me falling into the leadership of Natural Medicine here, I am not a natural leader and find it really hard, as I'm too much of an empath and don't like confrontation or stepping on toes, and work too hard to please everyone. For a long time I thought I just didn't have it in me to lead, and nor do I feel like I have to - as far as career moves, I just want to earn my money and go home and I'm not intersted in that rat race, though I need cash to live in this society.
Anyway, i'm at the point where if I dont get involved and lead (with others) then this thing we're dreaming of won't be manifest in the world. So yes, maybe the heart knows it is time.
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Curated for #naturalmedicine by @porters. - I'm happy you have chosen your own path! That is a lovely gift you have to be able to bring those creative ideas into fruition, keeping that balance as both are equally needed!
Personally I often find myself in a leadership role and question why no one else is stepping up then I realize that perhaps they just don't have the skills or awareness to do that. I don't feel pushed to do it (I probably would fold if I were, for I don't do well under pressure), it just happens!
Thank-you for bringing this to people's awareness, hopefully it will bring more self acceptance!
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