“This is the police! Open up! You’re under arrest for not wearing your mask and socially distancing.”
Hah! Just messing with you all. This is not the police, ladies and gentleman, damas y caballeros, mesdames et messieurs- this the Jammin’ Yam coming to you from the Bay. Yasss! I’m here to bring you the working man’s thinking radio. That’s right, I bring sunshine for discerning minds. That’s what I’m all about.
I received a lot of feedback from my last show in which I discussed the theory that plants, like yours truly, have real honest-to-goodness consciousness. Some of you think it’s entirely possible for plants to be sentient. Others are more skeptical. You don’t believe that plants are capable of directed thinking, and saying otherwise smacks of anthropomorphism. Big word there, boys and girls. Anthropomorphism. I looked it up because I like to be informed. Information leads to knowledge, knowledge leads to wisdom, and wisdom is power. Power that I can share with my faithful listeners. O yass! So, I looked it up to learn more about this wonderful word. It comes from the Greek language. Aah, those crafty Greeks. Always coming up with big ideas. Anthropo derives from the word for “human being,” while morphism refers to “form.” So there you have it. Where would we be without the Greeks? We be running around like savages ascribing human form to everything under the sun. Not cool.
But I’m not here to talk about plant consciousness, etymology, or the mighty Greeks. No lads and lasses, I’m here to talk about Love. Yass, Love with a capital L. A Proto-Indo-European word for “care” and “desire” according to anonymous sources. Old English for sexual attraction. Fondness. Those randy British.
Love is an intersting concept. Do plants feel Love in a scientific sense? I don’t know. All I can discuss is my own experience. What I feel in my own soul. I Love many things, and given that there is so much negativity out there, I thought it would be a good idea to talk about three things I Love.
In no particular order, the first thing I Love is water. Ah, who doesn’t, right? Exactly! Those of you with a contrarian disposition might say, “I don’t love water. I need water. I like water, but I don’t love it.” You would say that because you don’t have to rely on a human to bring you water on time. You can move your limbs and easily get water. But what if you were rooted to the ground and couldn’t move to a water source? Trust me, you’ll turn hydrophilic faster than you can say it. Hydro (water) + philic (love). Guess who? Oh yea, that’s right, the Greeks at it again! Hooey! Athenian brothers and sisters need to chill out! I don’t have time to learn all them fancy words.
Hehe! I’m just messing around. It’s all good. It’s aaaaaall right. Ooo yass!
The second thing I Love is soil! Filled with nutrients and many other life-sustaining processes. What’s not to like? Funny story. A listener the other day was curious about my origins. He wasn’t really a fan, you see, and I guess my style rubbed him the wrong way, and he wanted to make a point, so he says, “you got a funny accent for a radio host. You from the islands or something?”
Hahaha! Sheeeit! That’s some funny stuff right there. But that’s humans for you. They like to group each other by soil. Always concerned what type of dirt is under your feet. The way I see it, all soil is God-given, or Goddess-given if you’re spinning along those grooves. Soil gives rise to the “life blood” that sustains us and our communities. Us plants have chlorophyll, not blood. Good soil is essential for it. I would say that I Love chlorophyll, but that’s not very poetic. What I’m trying to get across is that it doesn’t matter where we’re from. We’re here now. What matters is that we are one, united in our Love of all that is good and life-affirming. We don’t have to hate on each other. We have to get together and Love one another. Spread the sunshine around. That’s what I’m all about.
The last and certainly not the least thing I Love is… drum roll please…. Sunshine! Didn’t see it coming, did you? Ah yass! Waking up in the morning and just letting the sun shower you with its warm golden radiance is truly a blessing. It’s no coincidence that at some point human ancestors worshiped the sun. Life-giving, without it, none of us would be here to argue about whether plants have consciousness and whether they can feel emotions like Love. It’d be a dark dead world without sunshine. Not a happy thought. Which is why I implore you, dear listeners, take the time to go out, look up, and thrust your face to the sun to receive its blessing. Let it lift your spirits, so you can soar higher than ever before. Just don’t fly too close to the sun like Icarus. Another Greek dude- damn, they’re everywhere.
Haha! Just messing around.
Thanks for tuning in. I hope you were entertained and informed. Think about what you Love. What brings a smile to your face when you think about it? What makes you get up in the morning and say, “today will be a wonderful day and when it’s done, I’m gonna smoke some weed.” Heh!
This is the Jammin’ Yam. Keeping it real, keeping it cool, and until we meet again, let the good vibes grow.
Jammin’ Yam Hit of the Week
One Love by Bob Marley & the Wailers