First of all, I would like to warn the reader that this is not the typical publication that leaves some kind of benefit or contribution for community. This article is purely personal, I call it a ''personal blog'' or simply an outlet. Anyway, no one denies that everything we read in this world is for some kind of learning, the best lessons come from experience.
Last April 28th my father passed away due to Covid-19. After several days in the hospital, following respiratory falls and other symptoms that his body could not cope with, my father died of Covid-19. He was sedated and his heart stopped beating. At least that's what the doctor told us. I think it's a vile lie, but still somehow I knew my father was not going to resist, something inside me was ready to receive the news.
Much of what I am is due to him. I have learned many things over the years and one of them is that no one is completely gone, it is not the one who leaves who dies, but the one who forgets. As long as I live, I will continue to remember him and as long as I have him in my heart, he is not dead to me. He is just resting, flying free.
We are children until our parents leave this earthly plane, until they pass away and make us feel like orphans. Our parents are the first relationships we have in our lives, so when one of them dies, it is as if a piece of our heart is being taken away. When my father passed away, I felt that my reference point in life had also died, it is like a feeling of desolation and loss.
When my father died, I continued to see him in dreams, nightmares, memories, photos, gifts, cars, toys from when I was a child, avenues and walls. And in fact, I thought that the day my father died I wanted to convince myself that he had not died, and that I kept him alive with blood of my blood and flesh of my flesh.
The day my father died, my father was born in me, but I was still looking for him. Where is the father who is not there, who is dead?
My father's death gave birth to a deep fear of absence, of loneliness, which then began to remind me of the same loneliness of my empty room when I would shut myself in silence to cry and to ask a God in whom I had the hope of believing for the most urgent and impossible request: one more day with my father.
We all suffer at some point in our lives the opening of a fundamental wound: the death of a father, the absence of a mother, rejection, loneliness, heartbreak, etc. When this wound is not attended to, it accompanies us all our lives as a mark that stands out on the skin of our heart, making us fear the presence of love and also the lack of it, to others and to ourselves, to death and to life.
And so it was that little by little I overcame one more loss in my life, a very valuable loss that made me change my perspective on things. And I always reflect, he is not dead, as long as I remember him with love. His spirit, his presence, I feel it here with me and I am very happy and proud to have been part of his life, to be his son.
Thank you dad for everything you have given me, everything you have taught me and everything I will be from now on. Thank you for being part of my evolution, my growth and my path. I understand that everything is a cycle and that you fulfilled yours on this earth, it is time to rest, it is time to contemplate the love that you have sown in us, your children. Thank you.
Peace to his soul.
I want to thank each and every one of those who were aware of me, of my process and those who with their words of encouragement motivated me and filled me with a smile, especially the entire team of the Natural Medicine community, family. I adore them. ♥
Come say hi via Lotus Chat or drop by our community - we'd love to welcome you!
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I am sure that your father's soul is resting in peace. He successfully fulfilled his duty in this life. If he hadn't, he wouldn't have been sent off with such nice words. My father is alive, but there has always been a distance between us. I haven't seen him for many years. For a child, the father factor is just as important as the mother. Some do not see paternal love. You and your father are very lucky to have each other. I am sure that his loss has made you very sad. It is very fine for you to send him with such nice words. I wish you health and peace.
Both the mother and the father is essential for the growth of a child, I unfortunately did not have a mother, but I had my father and aunts who raised me. Thank you very much for your nice words, it is motivating to read this kind of comments, from good people. Hugs. :D
🙏😍
hi @ pavanjrThank you for sharing this part of your process, the more you vent your pain, the more opportunities you have to heal. Surely your father, wherever he is, proud and satisfied with his work as a father on this earthly plane, has left an indelible mark on your life. Cheer up friend, a lot of strength
Hola guapa, thank you for your kind words. I am sure it is so, wherever I am, he is present in me and that is what matters. ♥
Am so sorry for your loss, it can tell how much you love for father because you won't share it to the world if he wasn't very specific to you. Am jealous when I read or hear stories of how much their father loves them coz I kind of lost that feeling after my father came home to us and met the real him. He wasn't a father figure not even a good guardian for the least.
I hope you find strength through time .❤️
I think that blood has no weight when there is upbringing with love, education, values and protection. It doesn't matter who your father is, it matters that you consider him as such. Your mother is also your father, my dad played both roles, mother and father, as well as friend, brother and we even had many differences in beliefs and politics. And at least, we are not alone, our family or even friends are part of a fraternal love, without labels.
Thanks for stopping by and reading, commenting and understanding. You are a very nice person, don't forget that. Blessings to you and yours. ♥ :D
Well, this is terrible news of course. My heart goes out to you brother, and this post is a beautiful homage to him. My parents are all getting very old in the USA, doctor says my stepfather has only two years to live, so I fear my Cambodian family may never meet my American family, and I may not be able to see them before the pandemic is over and visa issues are sorted.
The world is upside down, and it wasn't like Venezuelans didn't have problems to deal with on a daily basis before the pandemic came to town. Stay strong my friend, much love from Suriname.
Well, I think I have no words left to thank you for understanding this whole process and for understanding me. I know it feels bad to go a long time without seeing your parents, in fact, I went a long time without seeing mine long before he was diagnosed with Covid. What's more, I don't even have photographs with him, but it wasn't because of any problem, but because the opportunity never arose.
I think we understand more when we are already adults, you for example have a family and it is your turn to be that exemplary parent, which you are. Your parents, mine, those of any of our generation, must rest.
Thank you very much for reading and commenting brother, it is always a pleasure to read you in the comments, you motivate. Love and blessing from Venezuela to you and your family. <3