Hello, beefriends! I hope you are doing well. Happy Hive Power Up Day, I'll be doing the post for that later, but have already done my power up. :) Today I'm here to ramble on as I do about loving-kindness, and how often we let our fears get in the way of showing it.
So I've been listening to a lot of Near Death Experience stories on YouTube of late (and have read a bunch several years ago in books, too, lol). I find these stories fascinating and hopeful. Generally, every one of them, though they may have some differences, come back with some notion that our life here on Earth is all about love. Well that's a little difficult to believe some days, isn't it, when our world is so full of cruelty and apathy in the face of suffering? It's easy to lose hope or feel jaded when you look at the state of the world, watch the news, or read a comments section online.
When you watch small children - toddler age and babies - you see that humans inherently are pretty loving. Toddlers will hug and laugh and play with anyone. They don't have any judgements. So what happens to us?
Socialization, is my theory. You'd think that socialization would lead people to be more loving, but that is not often the way of it. Through socialization, we are taught social hierarchies: the "cool kids" at school have all the latest clothes that are in fashion or the best games that your family can't afford; if you can't dress in trendy fashions or buy a fancy phone or video game, you are judged by your peers, and so a social hierarchy forms when all the kids in your class should really be equals. Your parents, teachers, religious leaders, and any other authorities in your life are to be obeyed without question, even when they're wrong (and this is one reason why we have such scandals like Catholic priests raping children and getting away with it for years - people were indoctrinated not to say anything against an authority figure!). And so social hierarchies form, based on having power over others. Maybe your parents tell you to "stay away" from homeless people because they are "dangerous," or tell you that you better do well in school or you'll end up working in a low wage job like the server at the restaurant you are eating at. And so, social hierarchies form around class, where people with less money are seen as less than. Etc.
Pretty soon, you're making snap judgements about other people based on all the social cues you have been taught throughout your life, and deciding how to treat them based on those ideas.
When we all know the true rulers of the world are cats
Well OK, I hear you say. We can become aware of our subconscious (and conscious) stereotypes and prejudices, and work to overcome them! That is one step on the path to loving-kindness, yes. But is that all?
Not by a longshot, in my opinion. You see, you can unlearn your biases, and think kind thoughts, but still not do kind actions. And how are you showing love to another person if they have no idea about it?
What stops us from doing kind actions, so much of the time? Fear. Fear of being judged by others, ourselves.
Have you ever done anything that you were a little afraid of and then you felt free afterward? That totally applies to social fears, too - not just skydiving or bungee jumping!
A couple of years ago for an OpHumanAngels on that other blockchain, I bought a bouquet of flowers to give to complete strangers. That's a little intimidating! People might think you're weird! People might think you're crazy! But I faced that fear and did it. And you know what? I was giddy with happiness. Hopefully I made others smile (well they generally did, when I gave them a flower), and maybe I made them laugh (the one dude I gave a flower to looked at me like I was daft), but it was also a happiness for myself. It was utterly freeing to say, you know what? I want to do a nice thing for people, even if they think I'm weird. To toss aside all of that fear of judgement and propriety and just ...do a random act of kindness. Because we need more of those in this world.
So here is my challenge to you: think of a random act of kindness, a radical act of love, that you think would make you smile if you were the recipient, and go out and do it. Do it even if people might think it's "weird." Do it even if people might judge you.
Tell your friends that you love them, even if bro culture tells you that it's weird for men to show affection. Give a random gift for no reason to a loved one, or help them with some chore, just to show you care. Give flowers to strangers! I kinda want to do that again now...
Reach out and show radical loving kindness in a world that desperately needs it, and feel the love flowing through you. You not only will feel love yourself, but you never know who might have needed a sign just then and YOU were the sign!
Powerful message. And those memes... priceless hahaha
Thank you, thank you. LOL. I generally try and pair good memes with a serious message. :)
Hahaha yes, it takes a specific skillset. Also people who write in puns in their posts; very creative. I try it out sometimes, but I will not force it, otherwise you'll lose the magic of it 😅.
That's certainly true...😸 More people are coming to understand this I suspect....???
The internet helps to spread the Truth!
Yes... 😎
You are amazing! 😁 I want to smile and cry at the same time right now!
As I read through this things popped into my mind. The first was from the hierarchy and socialisation part. It made me recall a nature programme where there were primates (baboons I think) in a cold region and some would warm themselves up in the hot spa pool. Because there was only room for a few, it was only the leaders of the troop and their offspring that were allowed in. Any others were chased off. It always fascinates me how hierarchy comes into so many animal groups and shows us how animalistic we really are. Our evolution just means we seem to find extra ways of getting to express this elitism, rather than rising above it.
The next thing that came to mind was our landlady and neighbour when we first rented here in Australia. She told how she grew up poor and how she was judged on the job she did. You could tell how she resented it. She met and married her husband who was a manager in a building business and they built the two houses there, lived in one, rented the other. She was moving up in the world and showing her detractors. She was working hard to get into the police force as well and breve we moved out she made it into the academy. Over the two years I knew her, she turned into the very people she resented. She barely spoke to us before we left. It was as if as she'd moved up in life, instead of remembering where she'd come from and helping to lift others from there, she decided to help kick them back down into the gutter. I'll never understand some people.
But I finished with some really lovely memories. A woman who came up to me one day at the climbing gym when I'd fallen once again on a climb I was struggling with and said "That was f#@king amazing!" (Pretty sure she meant the climbing and not the fall. 😆). There have been others as well who have approached me out of the blue with "nice work on that climb" or have shouted encouragement out as I've struggled up a tough climb. These things have made me want to pay it forward to others, but I often chicken out, because usually when I don't I stumble over or mumble my words and have to repeat myself. I'm trying to improve, I really am...
The landlady you mention brings to mind the saying: there are two kinds of people in this world. Those who say, "I don't want anyone to have to suffer like I did," and those who say, "I suffered, why shouldn't they?"
I'm so glad you have those experiences at the rock climbing gym! It just goes to show how encouraging that can be. I know you are working on it, as you've spoken about it before, and I know you'll get there! <3 Maybe rehearse what you're going to say first? That helps me, as personally I'm better at writing than speaking, lol.
Sounds about right. I was just discussing with my dad how maybe tough experiences growing up can actually lead to a better rounded adult, but I guess it makes no difference for some.
I actually do that. 😆 Also better at writing. I can re-read and check before I submit.
!ENGAGE 25
ENGAGEtokens.Thank you! :)
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