It has difficult for me to watch you suffer,just as it would be for any parent. You were only really starting to understand, the impact your emotions can have on you, to make the connection between what was happening and what you were experiencing. And you had to deal with 3 huge losses in your life.
You would get so angry and as I was the closest person to you, you took it out on me. But you needed to release it and I knew that no matter what you said or did, that you were hurting inside, I just had to see past my own reaction to this and allow you to express how you were feeling.
You lost your spark for a while, and you redrew more into yourself. This was a way to protect yourself, as you tried to make sense of what was happening in your life. Yet ii seemed so unfair, that you had to deal with this as a 6 year old.
But today, today as we celebrated your birthday, I saw the joy in your eyes, I saw that spark once again. You were so excited and happy to have your friends around and you had so much fun. Every now and then, you ran up to me and threw your arms around me and I can not put into words how happy that made me feel.
As a parent we really want to be able to protect our children, we see it as a part of our role. Yet we can not control what will happen, we can only control how we react. And how we react, really has a huge impact on how our children react. One thing that I have learned, is that no matter what we have to go through, it is so important to allow yourself to feel and experience it all. To not shut things out.
To be present in each moment and embrace how you are feeling. Our children are so good at doing this, they really feel everything so strongly and if we give them the time and space to express those feelings and emotions, then they heal so much quicker.
Whenever my daughter would get angry, I just allowed her to be angry, to let it all out. Because when we keep emotions inside, when we trap them, we begin to experience dis ease. But allowing them to flow with their feelings, is so empowering for them and providing them with a space and holding that space for them, is a show of respect.
Children really know how to honour their feelings, yet we see it as outbursts, but that is only because we have been taught to suppress how we feel!
I have grown so much with my children and we have been through so much together. I have provided them with comfort, just as they have for me.
Today was such a beautiful day, a wonderful example of how much stronger we become, as a result of the challenges that we go through. Finding joy in the simple things, in coming together and celebrating life, especially during these times.
Hearing my 8 year old daughter laugh and watching her dance with her friends, so confident in herself and full of love for life. These are the most precious moments we have, this is what life is all about! Being mindful and present, appreciating each moment!
So happy your daughter had such a wonderful time, balance out some of the suffering she has gone through.
That's the thing to be able to express your feelings and not suppress them. When you can fully feel them and not be fighting them, then you can more direct them and not be taken over by them but be able to see them for what they are and express them appropriately, not hurting others or yourself.
Here's hoping you have many more wonderful days like that for you and your family!
Happy birthday to you daughter I hope you feel better again.
Happy birthday to your daughter, i can't say i know what she had gone through in that tender age but its nice to see her happy among her friends.
I was planning on replying here with the NM account while I did the curation, but I have to comment from my personal account, it seems proper.
I was 6 when my mom told my siblings and me that she had cancer and would probably die. I had to live through her disease and then I had to withstand the impact of her death. Now I am indescribably thankful for those years, they've forged me into what I am today and I would not change that for anything in this world.
My eyes watered up when I imagined your girl embracing you, full of life and joy. You have such a wonderful strength and warmth in you, and she has inherited it. The world is yet to know the blessing of that legacy, for she will shine beyond even your wildest dreams!
Thank you for this post, Aishlinn. So honest and beautiful! Blessings and happy returns to your daughter, your entire family and you!