Reflections On Awareness And Growth!

in Natural Medicine3 years ago

I am trying to be more aware. To take the time to check in with myself and my emotions and find out what my needs are. To not ignore them or push them aside, because I chose not to make the time. It is a choice I have so often made and in the end, I suffer for it.


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As it is with any mother, we are far more focused on the needs of our children and we often let our own needs slide. It is something I am finding hard to change, but I am determined. I do want my girls to grow up, really knowing the importance of self care and not find themselves, having to search it out, later in life.

On top of this, I am trying to become more aware of the different things that trigger me.

To identify why certain behaviours cause me to get upset and at times react in a destructive way. I really want to move into a place where I can listen more intently, more consciously, instead of just reacting. This can happen with my kids as well.

Especially when I react in a negative way, because I have neglected some of my own needs. So much comes back to self care and our need to be aware. We are not taught about these things when we grow up and so often we follow the lead of our parents. So I see this as my duty, to break this generational pattern.

To be aware, is not as easy as it sounds, because so many different factors play into it. Our mood, whether or not we are hungry or thirsty, whether or not we have had enough sleep. All of them affect my ability to be more mindful. I find myself slipping into easy distractions if I have first not meant my own needs.

So in the end in order to really connect with myself, to know myself, I have to meet my needs and nurture myself. It is a cycle that feeds into itself.

Today I woke up very tired, after about 4 hours of broken sleep. Last night, was acequia night, which is the night we are allowed water for the irrigation system on the land. Because the land is on 4 terraces, there are a few gates to open and close. So my night was long, ensuring everywhere got water. On top of that, it was almost full moon, when I always sleep less.

When I woke up, I told myself I had, received enough sleep and it did work for the first half of the day. But as the day went on and I had to organise my girls and cook etc, I found my patience really wearing thin. All I wanted was to curl up on my bed and rest. To day dream, the rest of day away. ( I know what a luxury for a single mama).

I could feel myself getting grated, I knew why. But what to do, how to continue with my day without losing my cool and taking it out on my girls.

Well by being honest, by telling my girls, that I had little sleep and that I was beginning to feel irritable, so that they were now aware of my needs. In the end they helped me to get the food and tidy up, without the usual fuss, or me asking them about 20 times.

In the end everything just flowed. Along with teaching my girls the importance of self care, I am also teaching them the importance of asking for help, of knowing your limits and not pushing yourself.

Slowly, slowly, my awareness is improving and because of that so is theirs. Sometimes the best way to teach (and I use that word very lightly) our children, is to just be the best that you can be. To show them the importance of trying, the importance of being true to who you are and on working on yourself.

To share your weaknesses as well as your strengths, so that they can see how both, are important for learning. That even when we have conflict in our lives, it is a wonderful opportunity to learn, if we just take the time to step back and sit with ourselves.

To embrace this journey we are on and accept our many sides.

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Great modeling for your children! So many parents will NOT be straight with their kids like that. But I think it's way healthier, to just be able to say, look, I didn't get much sleep last night - than to pretend like everything is fine until you snap. This way they not only understood, they happily helped you, as kids do.
!BEER

 3 years ago  

Thank you @phoenixwren, honesty is best if you ask me, how can I expect them to be honest with me, if I am not honest with them and they miss nothing xxxx

True that. Kids are so perceptive. Way more than most adults give them credit for!

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To be consistently aware of & listening to your deepest self & your own needs while being a solo mama? It's almost an olympic level sport, my dear.

To be aware of the times when one is not aware, is pure awareness & growth.

Wish you a happy self-caring Sunday.

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 3 years ago  

Oh I know, but I really want my girls to see it in practice, even if I struggle with it a lot. I just tell them that I am. Learning all the time, and growing with them. Thanks for dropping by, I know you are super busy xxxxx

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I always make sure to impose what I need to do on others, it's very selfish (but it will serve them in the long run), I know, even if it means that the kids will have to work on their own and be on auto pilot.

We try to use technology to our advantage, we got them on some home-schooling programs (they are 5 and 7), found Chinese tablets on the cheap and track their progress with alerts that we get on our phones. I do know that everyday there will be an hour of workout for me, and one hour of practicing guitar technique and Vocal (EVERYDAY, or I am not progressing); some song writings that I try to squeeze in, and recording when they are sleeping. It works for us, but it isn't perfect and we learning as we go :) I try to wake up at 5 or 6 to get 2 extra hours just for myself!! I am also at peace to know that from 9 to 6 my workload and efficiency will be hindered, that's the hardest part with the 3 kids!

For the 1 year old baby, it's a bit more complicated to entertain her but I try to make her participate on the farm activities, she is free labour haha.

Cheers!

 3 years ago  

We can only do what we can do and I have now stop feeling guilty when I use technology to help me get through the day, to give me the space i need. Yes I do not like my girls in front of a screen, but they also do not need to see me super stressed. It's all about balance. You are doing a great job xxxx

You too 😍 technology can buy you that extra time and get some life back! Cheers

It's very nice that you can be sincere with your kids and admit having a bad day and a rough night. Kids can understand if adults take the time to speak nicely to them

 3 years ago  

At the end of the day, just be honest and speak to them like you would anyone. I want them to experience life full stop, not some fluffy version of it, of course somethings I choose not to share, but overall I am really open with my emotions xxx

That's very good

Beautiful and so important. I might not have kids myself but I spend a lot of time with my niece and nephew and am also as open as I can be about my emotions and feelings. I'm curious if you'd be interested in joining riverflows, a couple of others and me on "the Presence Process" journey. Check out this post of mine for more info: Tired of Being Tired - It's time to spend more time in the Present.

Much love,

Vincent


Posted on NaturalMedicine.io

 3 years ago  

Yes I have checked it out and want to do it too xx

Awesome! Let's bundle all our energy :<)


Posted on NaturalMedicine.io

 3 years ago  

I am checking it out now, thanks Vincent xxx